The Accident
by Yuki Chronos
Summary: The Trinisette has been balanced for a year, all thanks to Bermuda. But the eighth flame has reached its limit. Who would want to carry the horrible curse? Who would become the next arcobaleno? No one would give up their human life to carry those flames in one body but her. And it all started from that accident.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, minna! New story from me again, I know. It gets boring. But I can't stop the overflowing love for Tsuna and Haru! I love those two, don't you?**

**Anyway, this is a story I just came up yesterday.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR or the characters. Just the plot.**

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**_CHAPTER I_**

* * *

The weather made everything just perfect.

The sky was dark with clouds that didn't even let any sunlight to breach in.

It was dark and cold, mingled with the gloomy atmosphere at the funeral.

Ryohei was crying out loud for his sister, Chrome and Hana let out silent tears and Tsuna…

He eyed on the tombstone with Kyoko's name on it, without letting out a single tear.

It wasn't fair, some of them thought. Kyoko was just a sweet and innocent girl; she had no awareness of the cruelty of the outside world. She didn't deserve to die that way. The girl that Tsuna wanted to protect the most was now dead.

No one knew who would kill a girl like Kyoko, no one but Bianchi, Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Tsuna. All of Kyoko's friends attended the funeral, except for one.

While everyone was sharing their grief and sadness, Haru was alone and had no one to share that. Even though she didn't attend her best friend's funeral, no one was sadder than her. Of course, she wouldn't be there. Because it was an accident, she shot Kyoko to death.

But accident or no, it didn't deny the fact that she killed Kyoko by her own hands. She always felt she was a nobody in their lives and she just made it worse. In her dark room and on her own bed, she buried her face under her folded legs. The image of how she shot Kyoko kept haunting her.

She just wanted to protect her. They had been kidnapped by a group of Mafioso that wanted Tsuna's head. To protect herself and Kyoko, she pointed a gun that Reborn gave her a year ago at the mastermind, but she didn't know that he would grab Kyoko to be his shield. It didn't across her mind.

She would never forget the feeling, the sound of bang, the sight of Kyoko's holey forehead, the sensation when the bullet penetrated her head. She never stopped blaming herself for what happened. She had shot Tsuna's happiness.

Her face lifted up a bit, only her eyes were seen. It was so empty, as if she had given up on her life. And she had no parents to comfort her because they were dead since a week ago. They were killed when they were on a trip to Italy and it was assumed—or surely concluded that it was a mafia that killed them.

She was now alone in her house, with a help by her relative outside the town to help her daily expense, sending money to her every week. Personally, she didn't care about the money. It made no difference now that she had to live in her house alone. Kyoko had once offered her to move to her house, but Haru refused.

Her best friend broke her heart 11 months ago, and even if she hid it really well, the thought that she would have to live with her—no, she didn't want to feel that pain again, although she didn't blame Kyoko for it. She never did.

The dark sky started to become a rain as thunders made flash to her window. At the fourth flash, a figure stood outside and opened the window. When she heard the sound of the sliding window, she immediately looked and got surprised as she saw Tsuna.

"T-Tsuna-san…?"

As Tsuna walked to her, Haru shuddered over the eyes of rage and tears that stuck on his orange eyes. In an instant, he pinned her against the wall with eyes of resentment. He was losing his mind.

"I don't care if it was an accident! You shot the only girl I liked! If she never became friends with you, she won't have to die! No one wants you here, Haru! No one will care if you're gone and I'll prove it to you," flames started to burst from his hands. "I'll make you pay…"

**-30 minutes later-**

"Juudaime/Tsuna!" both Tsuna closest friends barged in, only to see the unbelievable sight of their kind friend had his hand on Haru's neck. Tsuna was choking her, almost to death. Gokudera couldn't believe his eyes; even though he didn't like Haru, Tsuna's action was as unforgivable as her—or in her case it was an accident, so she could be forgiven.

But he knew his boss, it was unmistakably on purpose.

"Juudaime, let go of her!" Gokudera shouted.

"I'll stop until she's dead." Tsuna said simply as he tightened his grip. Haru gripped his hand and tried to let it go from her, but her strength subdued to his strength.

Gokudera couldn't hurt Tsuna, he wouldn't. But to his surprise, Yamamoto hit Tsuna's nape and thus, made him collapsed.

"Anyway, I'll take Haru to the hospital. You get Tsuna back to his house." Yamamato carried the weakened Haru. Bruises all around her body as Gokudera looked at it. It was surely a result of someone's anger. He still didn't want to believe that Tsuna would hurt anyone, even her.

But his eyes snapped him out of his idealist thought. It was Tsuna's wrongdoings. And he didn't know how he should look at him when he woke up.

* * *

Dr. Shamal volunteered to attend Haru. He might be a pervert, but concerning his patients, he would prioritize his job above all else. Bandages were all around her body.

"You were lucky Yamamoto took you to me sooner, Haru-chan. Your wounds weren't deep, but you need to rest here for couple of days. But who would do this to a cute girl like you?"

Haru just stared at him on her bed as her head was rested on the pillow. "You can't lie to me, Dr. Shamal. Haru knows Yamamoto-san has told you." Dr. Shamal's face turned solemn as he heard that. "But Haru can't blame Tsuna-san. No one should."

He didn't respond to her statement. It was true he had heard about Kyoko from Yamamoto, but he was an outsider on that matter. His job was just to take care of her and not meddling with their business.

"11 months…" Haru mumbled. "They would celebrate their first year of anniversary. They were so happy. Up until this point Haru still loves Tsuna-san, but dating Kyoko-chan didn't make me sad. It's true it did hurt when Haru found that out, but… Haru was truly happy for them. As long as Tsuna-san's happy… everything doesn't matter."

He could hear the vibration in her tone; she was trying to act strong, and putting up that emotionless expression didn't fool him. It only needed her voice and trembling hands to know that she was having enormous amount of guilt, grief, and remorse. It was more than her heart could take. Her parents were dead, she had her heart broke into pieces knowing Tsuna didn't love her back, she accidentally killed her best friend, and Tsuna just had to make it worse.

If it was Reborn, he would snap Tsuna's mind in any extreme way he could, but Reborn wasn't here anymore. He had left right before Tsuna confessed to Kyoko, after he spoke his decision to Reborn that he would become the Vongola 10th to protect his friends.

If only Reborn knew about what Tsuna did to Haru, but he didn't. The eccentric, weird, lovable, and cheerful Haru, those unique personalities that she had as Miura Haru, it was all going to lose. This girl was trying to act strong for almost a year, she was crumbled a week ago, and perhaps now, shattered, Dr. Shamal thought as he silently stared at Haru.

Every time she put on a stronger barrier, a forced strength of emotion, it was cracked by an unfortunate events that had befell on her, but that didn't stop her from trying to hide her sorrow and kept acting strong. However she had reached her limit. She was going to lose her identity as the cheerful Haru everyone knew.

"It wasn't your fault, Haru-chan," he said. "You just brought her to her end faster. It was death that killed her; you were acting as a medium. After all, no matter how much medicines or hospitals has been made, death is forever and will always be inevitable." after saying that, he walked outside and then Yamamoto came in. He just stood near the hospital bed and gave off his usual smile to comfort her.

"So? How was it?" Yamamoto asked.

"What is?" Haru asked softly.

"Ah, I mean what did Dr. Shamal say?"

"He said it's nothing serious. Haru can go back home few days later."

"I see."

"Haru doesn't want to go back to that house."

"Eh? Why?"

Haru remained silent as she eyed on the window. Then, Yamamoto just remembered what had happened a week ago. The feeling of losing parents, Yamamoto knew that feeling, it was like the first time he travelled to the future, when he heard about his father's death. Just knowing it would happen in the future already stirred up his feelings, tearing him apart.

And it happened to Haru, in the present time.

"Senpai isn't mad at you, you know." he wanted to at least lightened up the mood, but it only made Haru turned her body to face the window and having her back on the door and him. He scratched his head over the confusion to find the perfect words. "Look, if Sasagawa were here, what would she do? She would probably mad at Tsuna for what he did to you. We don't blame you, Haru."

"And I'm sure Sasagawa didn't blame you, too," Haru flinched at that remark, but she didn't give a slightest reply. "I have to go home. See you later, Haru. Get well soon." with that, he left.

After the door was completely shut and she was alone in that room, for the first time after the accident, her eyes finally shed tears; her unspeakable pain. She didn't want to cry, she tried her best to hold on, but she couldn't. She didn't have the strength to do it anymore, not after Tsuna broke her. The tears that kept flowing like a waterfall, it was nothing but tears of regret that was meant for Tsuna, the tears that flowed for his sake.

"…I'm sorry, Tsuna-san…"

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**I don't know if it's interesting or what, it could be not, so I want to know your opinion.**

**Please leave a review and tell me what you think about this chapter/story. If it's like a rubbish, just say so. I won't get hurt :)**


	2. Her final seconds

**I was supposed to upload this a week after today (more or less), but I can't leave it in my laptop for too long, so I decided to upload it sooner.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own KHR. Just the plot.**

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_**CHAPTER II**_

* * *

At the same night, the boy who had hurt Haru had already woken up. He should've visited her or at least asked for forgiveness, but no, it didn't cross his mind. Neither guilt nor sad that came haunted his mind. Instead, it was all just nothing, pure nothingness—empty.

He sat on the window and stared at the dark sky. There was nothing to look at and the view wasn't anyone would call fresh or stunning. It was like the sky indicated the end of the world. People closed their windows and curtains to not see such view of the sky. But he was remembering the times he had with Reborn instead of watching the sky. If it were him, he would know what to do. It had been for almost a year since he had left him.

"Why, Tsuna?" Bianchi asked as she stood at the doorstep. "She didn't meant to do it."

"If you're mad, then come at me," Tsuna replied nonchalantly as he didn't give a brief look at Bianchi. "It's her fault that Kyoko-chan died."

Sometimes, she wondered, what about Kyoko that drove him to commit an act that normally he wouldn't do. "That isn't how a boss should act. Reborn wouldn't like to see you like this, saying those things will just break you."

"Don't lecture me, Bianchi!" Tsuna said loudly and narrowed his eyes at her. "This isn't about Reborn anymore, he's gone! He's out there somewhere and doesn't give a damn care about me! And there's no'will', I'm already broken ever since I knew Kyoko-chan's dead!"

"Really?" suddenly, Bianchi's face darkened. "You've been giving all your intention to Kyoko and ignored the one that gives you attention. You're too blind to see what Haru had been doing for you and only you. Think about it, Tsuna. Haru has no connection with the mafia, she could leave us and live her normal life if she wants to." she paused briefly.

"But she chose to stay with us, with you. Her affection for you is far too deep for you to see with your shallow sight. You have no rights to call her first name." after giving away her glare, Bianchi left, leaving Tsuna in mixed up feelings. The guilt was finally there, but his ego and feelings for Kyoko kept trying to deny that guilt.

…

"_I like you, Kyoko-chan!"_

"_E-Eh? Is that why you took me here to the park?" Kyoko asked and her face turned red. Tsuna nodded sheepishly. "I-I don't know what to say."_

"_A-Am I making you uncomfortable? You don't have to answer it now."_

"_It's not that," she shook her head and smiled happily. "I'm just… so happy."_

"_Eh?" his face became redder. Then, Kyoko leaned forward to him._

"_Ask me if I want to be your girlfriend."_

"_O-Okay. Kyoko-chan, will you be my g-girlfriend?" Tsuna stuttered._

"_Yes! I'd love that, Tsuna-kun!"_

_Tsuna's eyes widened. He couldn't believe his own ears that Kyoko just accepted his feelings. But he didn't bother to ask why; he was just so happy that he couldn't scream. He didn't have to use dying will to confess, though he wished Reborn would know about his bravery._

"_We're going to have a party for Yamamoto's success in baseball. Let's announce about us this evening!"_

"_Sure!"_

_With that, both Tsuna and Kyoko walked out of the park and headed right. However, unknown to them, someone heard the confession, and it was the person with a shattered heart who had her back leaning against the wall. The reason why they didn't see her was because she was on the left while they walking to the right._

_Her body slithered down while holding onto a basket of dolls of Tsuna and the others, made by her own hands. Her shadowed face prevented to show her expressions, but she was trembling. She didn't cry; she tried her best to hold her tears. However for sure, she felt broken._

_But she had to be strong. As long as he was happy, nothing mattered to her._

_Everyone celebrated Yamamoto's success in his place. All of them were having a great time merrily, those were a sincere celebration, but only one who forced that feeling._

_By the time Tsuna announced their courtship to everyone, everyone was surprised at first, but they were all happy for Kyoko and him. Bianchi knew that would break Haru, but when she looked at her, she smiled._

"_Everyone!" Haru called. "Since we're here, Haru would like to say few words for Tsuna-san and Kyoko-chan," she picked up the basket of dolls on a table. "Haru's so happy for you two! May your relationship last long until the end of time! And here's for you, Tsuna-san!" she handed over the basket to him. "There's Kyoko-chan and Haru in there, too! And Reborn-chan too, of course!"_

"_Ah, okay. Thanks, Haru." he scratched his head sheepishly._

_Few hours later the party ended and all went to their home. As Haru entered her room and saw Tsuna's small doll on her desk, she picked it up and placed it on her chest, gripping it firmly with trembling hands. Then, a small hand touched her hand. She was in much shock seeing Reborn was in front of her. He should've left days ago._

"_R-Reborn-chan? Aren't you…?"_

"_I've been watching Tsuna, waiting for him whether he would confess to Kyoko, though seems he did."_

"_Why are you here? Tsuna-san would be happy if you visit him."_

"_That won't do any good. I left him without saying goodbye and I'll leave Namimori after talking to you."_

"_Why?"_

"_I knew this would happen. I knew you would hear the confession, Haru."_

"_Haru's fine. It doesn't hurt me."_

"_It hurts, you can't lie to me," Haru flinched at his remark. "I don't have much time, but I'm here for this," he let out a gun. "I wanted to give you this long time ago, but back then, I'm not sure whether he would pick you or Kyoko. Since the situation has come to this, you must have it."_

"_Haru can't accept that, sorry…"_

"_Listen, Haru. You have involved yourself with us for too long. The mafia world already knows and Tsuna can't protect you, now that he has Kyoko. You have to protect yourself and this is all I can give you."_

"_But…"_

"_You still want to be with him, right? The urge to help him is always there in your heart. From now on, you must learn to protect yourself and maybe someday, you'll protect Tsuna."_

"_Why? Tsuna-san is capable of protecting himself."_

"_He won't be. He will spend most of his life trying to protect Kyoko, which that shouldn't happen in mafia world. In our world, Kyoko isn't fit to be a mafia boss's wife because a wife of those who has a position as a boss should at least be able to shoot a gun, but Kyoko doesn't like conflict. Tsuna will grow weak."_

_Hearing his statement made Haru's hand move to grab the gun. Her feelings stirred up; whether she should shoot other people, she still felt bad. But when she thought about it thoroughly, like it or not, she had to. Like Kyoko, she, too, didn't like conflict, but in times where she had to pull the trigger, she knew she should. She kept staring at the gun thoughtfully._

"_Promise me, Haru."_

"_Eh?" she immediately looked at Reborn._

"_Promise me you will keep on smiling no matter how much this rip you apart. In any circumstances, don't let anyone know your true feelings."_

"_Reborn-chan…"_

_To break the conversation, a doorbell echoed throughout the house. Since her parents weren't home yet, Haru opened the door. It was Tsuna. Either she had to be happy or not, she was in between. She could feel the stab in her heart every time she saw his face._

"_Hey, I just want to say thank you for the dolls." Tsuna said as he was scratching his head. "You already said that." Haru replied._

"_I know… but it didn't feel right. You made it for me, so thank you so much, Haru." he gave off a smile._

_His smile… the kindness that radiated through him… once again, it hurt her so much. It didn't make her happy, it made her wanted to cry so much, but she knew she shouldn't cry. She loved him, truly and deeply in love with him, but the face, the smile, the voice that used to make her happy, it stabbed her heart at every second. It was so painful, so controlling, and it created a forced barrier or mask that kept her true feelings away from the outer part of her skin._

"_What's wrong? Why aren't you saying anything?"_

"_N-Nothing's wrong. Haru's just… tired."_

"_Alright then. See you tomorrow." with a wave of goodbye and smile, he left. Haru might returned his smile, but when she closed the door, that was when she slithered down while her palm touched the door and sliding down along with her body. Reborn stared at her from her back; a form of liquid dropped to the ground._

_Her balled fists were clenched firmly on the ground and trembled. She didn't give out any sound. What came from her were only the silent tears that made drops to the ground. Then much to Reborn's surprise, a soft laugh was heard from Haru along with the tears from her eyes._

_She wiped away her tears and turned around with a smile. "Don't worry, Reborn-chan. As Haru promised you… Haru will keep smiling," she paused and lowered her head with eyes on the ground. "Even if Haru is suffering, Haru won't stop making everyone and Tsuna-san happy. Haru will keep on acting cheerful and strong… for everyone's sake."_

"_That's why, you can leave in peace, Reborn-chan. Someday… when we meet again, I will be the one that protects him."_

…

Haru opened her eyes slowly and the first thing she saw was Bianchi. She was the only one that visited her. Her eyes weren't fully opened, but she knew it was Bianchi.

"Is it a bad dream?" Bianchi asked. "You're crying."

When Haru touched her cheek, it was wet, so as the pillow. But she didn't give a reply; she didn't know if it was worth to be called bad or good because it could be both. As she recalled her dream, she just remembered Bianchi didn't know about the gun nor did she know about Reborn's visit to Haru's house. She kept their meeting as a secret, it was Reborn's wish.

"Bianchi-san, what's that?" Haru eyed on the big orange bag next to where Bianchi sat. "It's your clothes." Bianchi replied.

"How is Tsuna-san doing?" Bianchi turned solemn at her question. Did she really just ask that? It wasn't usual for Haru to ask about a person's well-being—who had assaulted her. But at the same time, she was mesmerized. It proved that Haru did really have an undying love for Tsuna. However, she was also worried about Haru. With that sincere feeling, she could get hurt more.

"Why do you want to visit a killer?" this particular question that came out of Haru's mouth twitched Bianchi.

"You're not. It was just an accident."

"You weren't there. Bianchi-san, you know how Haru feels about Tsuna-san. Haru has motive to kill Kyoko-chan."

"Haru, you don't know what you're saying."

"I know what I'm saying!" Bianchi was startled by her sudden loud voice, but more surprised when hearing Haru speaking not as third person anymore. "A-Ah, sorry, Bianchi-san! Haru didn't mean to yell…"

What was strange to Bianchi was her way of speech returned to the usual Haru. By then, she immediately knew Haru started to change. "Haru…" Bianchi stood up and patted her head with a smile. "You need to rest."

Then, she rummaged the big bag and let out the Tsuna doll. "I found this in your room."

Haru accepted the doll almost halfheartedly. She felt reluctant to depend on a doll to make her feel better, much less Tsuna doll. "…Thank you, Bianchi-san. But Haru—"

Suddenly, a tremor cut her words. It was brief, but caught her off guard. When she looked at Bianchi, she wasn't moving, like frozen. She tried to approach her, but a stab on her nape stopped her. As she pulled out what was stuck there, it was a small-looking arrow, but seemed to have something within the small tube that attached to it, a liquid.

Her consciousness began to fade and it took seconds to shut her body down.

* * *

Haru opened her eyes slowly, it was as if the nerve around her body was paralyzed for a moment and made her harder to open her eyes. It was blur, she seemed to lie on ground, but she could hear voices in front of her and two men.

"It's not her, Onomichi."

"But she can move!"

"What?" the man looked at Haru briefly and then back to the man in front of him. "Still, it's not her. It's _him_. Bring him here immediately and this time, don't get wrong." with that order, Onomichi left the area.

Afterwards, Haru finally regained her consciousness and lifted her body to sitting position. Seeing that, the man squatted in front of her. She turned her head to look at her surroundings; she knew the place. It was the park where a battle between Tsuna and Bermuda took place a year ago. As Haru lifted her face upwards, she was surprised to see the familiar face, Kawahira.

"Miura Haru, am I right?" he asked but she was too shocked to answer. "How come you can still move?"

"What… do you mean?"

"See that bird over there?" he pointed at the sky where birds flew, but stayed at the spot, it was like they were frozen—or they really were. "I stopped the time flow. Everything in this world stops, people are frozen. But not you," he turned his head to her. "So I'm asking you; why can you move?"

"Haru… Haru doesn't know… moreover, why do you want to stop time?"

"About that… I'm sorry, little girl. It's top secret." he patted her head like he treated her like a child. "Don't treat me like child…" Kawahira held his breath at the sudden air from her. It became sorely different when she changed her way of speaking. "I'm not stupid. Everyone has told me everything. Just because I can't fight, that doesn't mean I shouldn't know. I'm here, breathing, so you might as well tell me."

He was impressed by her. He knew what Haru was like, but for her to become like that, it amazed him; shown by a grin that curved on his face.

"Do you feel familiar of the name 'Bermuda' or 'Vindice'?" he asked and she nodded. "They're the ones that keeps the eighth flame go on to light up the seven flames forever." she answered.

"That is correct, Haru-chan. Except that, nothing stays in eternal time," he stated. "You see, Bermuda—or the eighth flame has reached its limit. It explains this dark sky and that tremor you felt. In less than a day, the seven flames will die and the world will fall into chaos. In order to sustain the order of peace that those flames are holding, I need to go back to my first way."

"So, you're going to create a new arcobaleno like Reborn-chan? You would let anyone to live as a baby forever?!"

His eyes narrowed as she said that, somewhat offended. "Watch your chose for words. What I'm about to create isn't just a normal arcobaleno. This arcobaleno will carry those seven flames. Those flames will combine as soon as they enter a body; they'll become one flame, a black flame that carries all seven flames in combine."

"Flame of Dusk, a new type of arcobaleno known as 'Void'. And I only need one person that fits the criteria to bear this wrenched flame." he added.

As if on cue, Onomichi brought a person and dropped it to the ground. Much to Haru's surprise, it was Tsuna. He seemed breathing but unconscious. She immediately held him out of worries and put up fear expression on her face, a fear of her loved one's well-being. A question overran her mind: why him?

"Haru-chan, you said about living as a baby forever, that's wrong. In this case, I'll give a privilege. The vessel would keep his original body and has capability of aging. However, after 25 years old, his appearance won't change but can keep aging, like a vampire. Oh, but that's not the worst things," he paused and seemed pleasant to explain it to her.

"He won't get the chance to live a normal life and live an eternal slumber—if he's lucky. But if he—"

"Why…"

"Hey, don't think badly of me. If I didn't let him to slumber deeply, the constant nightmare from the flame will keep haunting his dreams. Not to mention he'll see some horrible visions he never wished to see."

"It's not that!" Haru raised her voice. "Tsuna-san has already become a part of Trinisette. I don't know about it much, but he's already being burdened by becoming the next Vongola boss. Tsuna-san… he's lost someone important, so please… not him… he has suffered enough…"

Kawahira just stood while staring at Haru with sharp eyes and Onomichi was nervous seeing him like that, which it was something he had never seen from Kawahira. It didn't indicate any anger or such, but it was nerve-racking to see.

Kawahira then cleared his throat. "As I was saying," he continued. "If he's unlucky, he'll wake up, he has to overcome and control the consuming attribute of dusk flame. If he could control the flame, it would be better and he could live his normal life and not endangering people's lives, but it would never be the same as before he was a human. The consuming attribute can suck energy or anything that it chooses to suck, even a person's lifespan. The nature of that flame is beyond anyone can comprehend, even the creator itself…"

"Basically, he won't become human anymore. He'll bear the cursed life forever, is that what you're saying?"

"That's why it has to be him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I—" he approached Tsuna, but Haru firmly held him in her arms, trying to protect him from Kawahira.

"…Tsuna-san doesn't deserve to have that kind of life. He has friends and a parent that loves him. I won't let you take him away from them…"

"If he isn't sacrificed, the world will come to an end. Everything he's protecting, even the boy you're protecting will die. Who would become the arcobaleno?"

"I will…"

"What?"

"I said I will." Haru looked at him with eyes that stunned him; it wasn't fear or doubts. Sure there was a bit uncertainty in her quivering eyes, but it didn't indicate a hesitation. She didn't have any fear and her eyes showed her resolve. Seeing Haru's response and eyes, he realized those were the criteria to become the Void arcobaleno, one with resolution and an uncertainty that reminded her of the living, to remember that she was a living being, one with soul.

She wouldn't back down, he knew. She was much more perfect than Tsuna, he thought. But he had to be sure, just in case. "Do you know what you're saying? You'll have to leave your friends and him."

"It doesn't matter. My parents are dead and Tsuna-san hates me. I'm a killer in everyone's eyes, I know. I have no place in everyone's life. Everyone will be happy if I'm gone."

"No, you don't know what you're saying. A girl like you doesn't—"

"I'm fully aware of the risk! I know what it'll do to me, that's why I volunteer for this. I won't take no as an answer! Take me and leave this boy alone!"

Onomichi was going to dispute, but Kawahira raised his hand before he could do so. Her answer was enough to convince him. "As you wish, Miura Haru. But note this: you won't get the chance to say goodbye. You'll leave Namimori as soon as the agreement has been made."

"I'm okay with it, but on one condition," she stated. "You can revive someone, right?"

He raised an eyebrow and went into thinking mode. He couldn't just revive the dead. But considering the situation, the loss he would get wasn't that great if Haru were to become the vessel. "I can't revive your parents, who have been dead for over a week. I can only bring life at the third day of a person's death."

"No, I don't mean them," she said. "Kyoko-chan."

He already saw what her intention was, but that matter didn't concern him one bit. He wouldn't pay attention to it. "Alright."

"Thank you." Haru said and gingerly put Tsuna's head on the ground. She held his hand and said with a bit of smile, "I'm going to leave you with Kyoko-chan. Do your best to become the Vongola boss, Tsuna-san."

Kawahira eyed on Haru with a thought. Love drove her into speaking her mind. Love made her willingly to give in to the dark life she would live in forever. He knew that she was fully aware of the consequences, but that didn't break her resolve. She was willing to because of her current life that she thought as unloved. She was willing to do this for Tsuna. Even if Kawahira only cared about the Trinisette, having to live a long life, he understood human emotion.

If it was Haru, maybe she could control the flame, he thought. But that flame wasn't a matter of joke. Anyone could fall into the dark flame's persuasion to hurt people.

She tightened her grip and gave a painful smile, a smile of separation. And after that, without saying a word of goodbye, she stood up and left him on the ground.

Even if she had to leave them and slumbered, knowing she would become an arcobaleno like Yuni, she still wanted to go. This time, she would be the one to protect the world that Tsuna was trying to protect. This time, she would carry the burden that should've been his. She would give up her human life and become an arcobaleno. It might not like what she had promised to Reborn, but it was her own way to protect Tsuna and saved everyone from the danger that would fall on them.

And few hours later as time had already ticked, when he opened his eyes, he would be greeted by the clear sky, and he would be surrounded by the happiness of seeing the girl he loved, without knowing one member of his family had gone.

* * *

**Question: If I said I can upload a new chapter in any story like a week after or more, and then, suddenly, there's a change that I actually can upload it sooner, would you want me to upload it as soon as it was finished or should I stick to my previous words even though it was finished?**

**I'd be happy if you could help me by answering this question. Thank you :)**


	3. All for pride and ego

**I didn't get the chance to thank you for your wonderful and precious reviews, so thank you so much for the reviews! You have no idea how your reviews made my days a whole lot better from worse. And it motivates me to write a good story for all of you.**

**Well, enough about that. Hope this chapter isn't a disappointment ^^**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I will NEVER own KHR in any legal or illegal way. It belongs to the rightful owner, Amano Akira.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER III**_

* * *

At the very sunny morning, the brunette boy opened his eyes; a ceiling of his own room—was what he he looked at his attire, surprisingly, it wasn't a pajama, but his casual clothes. He wondered about it, but then decided not to think about it too much, since he was supposed to be at school now.

At least, that was what he thought at first. As he saw dirt on his shirt, he felt more curious. He went downstairs and to the kitchen, where all were there, except for one. His mother was cooking.

"Mom, where was I before I fell asleep?" he asked. Nana turned around and said, "Oh, Ryohei-kun brought you here this morning, around 5 am. He said he found you when he was on a morning jog, you were lying on the ground. What were you doing, Tsu-kun? I was worried when he took you here."

"Ah… I… I must've fallen asleep and sleepwalking."

"Okay, just take care. You might give me a heart attack." with that little joke and smile she gave off, she continued cooking.

_But since when did I fall asleep? And on my casual clothes?_

He wanted to forget about such confusing thing and just lived his life. He sat on the chair next to Fuuta and noticed one chair was unoccupied. "Are? Where's Bianchi?" Fuuta flinched at Tsuna's question, which caught his attention.

"Fuuta?"

"H-Her father called her home—to Italy. He… he missed her, so she went home for couple of days." Fuuta was stuttering and Tsuna indeed saw that as something odd, but not really thought about it too much.

Unknown to Tsuna himself, Fuuta was staring at him the whole time as he was eating. His brown eyes had no spirit, as if his life had no purpose left. He became like that, unable to smile, unable to even live his normal life ever since Kyoko's death. The Vongola Tenth he adored had become so crushed and it worried him. But he couldn't do anything, he couldn't cheer him up.

All he could do was to stay quiet and saw how the event would unfold. Aside that thought, he had another thought; one that he kept secret for Bianchi.

He kept staring at him until he finished his breakfast and took the dirty dish to the sink.

"Good morning!" Gokudera's voice was heard from the front door and as Tsuna walked out of the kitchen, he was there, with Yamamoto. "Yo, Tsuna, good morning!" Yamamoto was his usual self with his ever cheerful grin.

"Good morning, juudaime! I'm here to pick you up. Are you prepared?" Gokudera asked in his usual energetic manner. Tsuna nodded with a forced smile, took his bag, and left with the two.

As usual, he walked between Gokudera and Yamamoto. He didn't say anything nor did he have the capability to. While his two close friends were in their own talk, he was in his own gloomy world.

All that came to his mind, the dirt on his shirt, casual clothes in his sleep, Fuuta's nervousness, it didn't bother him too much—or not worth to be thought about. Nothing could fill the space of his mind, nothing could beat the overwhelming sadness he felt over Kyoko's death. His mind had no more empty space, for it was all occupied by the feeling of grief, sadness, and remorse.

He looked at Gokudera and Yamamoto, who seemingly began their own usual habit: Gokudera felt annoyed by Yamamoto and both began their one-sided quarrel. He envied them. After all of that event, they recovered quickly. He looked down at the ground while walking. He wanted to recover soon, he did, but his feelings for Kyoko prevented that, moreover it was Haru who killed her. He furrowed his brows as he remembered who was responsible for that.

The one-sided quarrel stopped and both Yamamoto and Gokudera eyed on Tsuna. Then, Tsuna spotted Ryohei who appeared from a turn, heading towards his high school which had the same direction as Nami middle.

"Ah, onii-san!" Tsuna called and Ryohei looked at his direction. He seemed to be surprised of their presence, as though he didn't seem aware of his surroundings. "Good morning, Sawada." the calm aura he let out was so unusual. Though, that how it was supposed to be that way; his beloved little sister had gone from his life.

"Thank you for bringing me back, onii-san." he said with a forced and rather guilty smile. "No problem." Ryohei replied with the same forced smile and then just like that, he ended the conversation, continuing his walk to his school.

"Sawada," he halted his steps. "Meet me at the shrine after school. Don't ask why, just go." and with that, he continued his walk again, confused the trio behind his back.

* * *

Just as Ryohei told him, Tsuna arrived at the shrine, but Ryohei wasn't there yet. While waiting, he sat on the shrine. _What does onii-san want from me? Why here? _The curiosity was there, he was afraid Ryohei would blame him for Kyoko's death.

He hung his head low, recalling and visualizing Ryohei's expression at that morning; nothing more than nothingness, like his own current state. He started to feel bad for him, wondering whether he would recover quickly. Then, an unwanted image of Kyoko's tombstone came into his head. His hands that were intertwined together tightened each grip in vexation.

While in that deep thought, a sense of a presence and footsteps broke him out of that thought and he lifted his head up to see the person.

He widened his eyes of seeing that particular person; it wasn't Ryohei or anyone he could predict. There she was; the girl he ever loved stood from distance with smile and tears of happiness, the honey-colored hair girl.

With the sudden tears that stuck in his widened eyes, he and Kyoko ran to each other and hugged like there was no tomorrow.

"I… I thought I lost you for good…"

"I'm sorry to make you worried, Tsu-kun." that voice, he really missed it, the angelic voice that always tranquilized his mind. "Wait," he peeled away. "Aren't you supposed to be…?"

Kyoko nodded and said with a smile, "I know, but then, when I opened my eyes, I'm in a coffin. It's like a miracle."

"Well, I hope you're not a zombie." Tsuna said jokingly and she giggled hearing that. Seeing her smile again, hearing that giggle, he smiled, surely he missed that. He was so glad she was here, alive. But then, a thought snapped him out of that wonderful moment.

"Wait! Don't tell me onii-san knew it before me?!" Kyoko nodded with her usual bright smile. "That onii-san! He staged this meeting, didn't he? Then, all that depression and expression was a fake, wasn't it?!" once again, she nodded, "I'm sorry, but I wanted to surprise you."

Having heard that, Tsuna sighed with a slight smile. "Well, it went successful for sure," he replied. "That's right! We should tell everyone! Let's have a party!"

"Tsu-kun… I want to meet Haru-chan. She must be keep blaming herself by now." Tsuna's eyes twitched at that demand and his face turned solemn. "She's fine. Besides, she's probably at her school now. Kyoko-chan, let's go on a date, to celebrate this."

"Eh? But what about everyone? You said—"

"I want to spend my time with you. Can I?"

She was silenced for a moment, until she smiled and answered, "Okay."

With that said, Tsuna and Kyoko went door-to-door and told everyone before the date, in order to dismiss an unwanted event, such as the shock of seeing the girl who was supposed to be dead. But their destinations were only to the extent of Tsuna's friends, and not their whole classmates.

Everyone expressed their happiness and relief to see Kyoko was okay. Kyoko herself couldn't simply say she was revived or it would bring questions. As much as she resented lying, she lied to everyone; that she didn't actually die and she was in a brief coma. When she woke up, she panicked and then someone helped her to get out. She said the person was cheerful and tended to add "ho ho ho" at every sentence, and spoke in childish manner, too.

She also thanked her parent for refusing a cremation for her, since they wanted Kyoko to be a whole and buried.

After that, with hours left before nightfall, they went on their date at the amusement park and both were having so much fun, until they sat on a bench for a rest. "Are you sure it's okay for not telling the whole classmates? What if they see me?" she asked in worry. "It would take too long, and I don't think we will find them here. They're busy on finding a good high school." Tsuna replied.

"What about you? Have you found a good school?"

"I won't continue to high school."

"Eh?" she blinked in confusion.

"After this, Gokudera and I will move to Italy. Ninth has prepared a private teacher to educate me, so it's like home school. I'm going to learn how to be a boss."

She didn't like his answer let alone to hear it. She lowered her head and faced the ground with doleful look. "Don't go…" he immediately looked at Kyoko in surprise as he heard that. "I know I shouldn't feel this way, but… can you reconsider? I hate to see you fight. I don't want you to get hurt…"

Seeing her grievous face, he held her hand. "I'm sorry, Kyoko-chan. This is the only way for me to protect my friends, to protect you. Like Reborn said, by the time I bear Vongola ring, I agree on becoming the next Vongola boss. Without it, how am I supposed to protect all of you? I've made my decision and I can't take it back."

It hurt, felt like stabbed hearing his answer. Of all answers, that was the least she wanted to hear, but she had to be strong. She lifted his head and said with a forced smile, "Okay. Just don't push yourself."

"Thank you, Kyoko-chan." he said with a delighted smile.

* * *

There was a simple sentence that cracked the atmosphere of their date, two words of disagreement. But aside that, to Tsuna, the date was better than he had anticipated. As the sun was setting and the sky was tinged with orange shade, he walked her home. And after that, it was just him and the world.

While walking aimlessly enough, he was contemplating her words that begged him not to fight. He simply couldn't let his position go because of one, and Kyoko was no exception. He didn't want to make her sad, he wanted to maintain her smile, but he had to protect her.

He thought about it too deep that he didn't realize, that when he looked up to his left side, he was in front of Namimori Hospital, and the direction to his house from Kyoko's house was clearly not the same as to the hospital.

Just by looking at that place brought the annoyance back to him. Even though Kyoko turned out to be okay, he still couldn't forgive Haru. His mood turned worse and who knew what would happen if he was in that state.

Noticed a presence was walking towards him, he diverted his stare. Before him was Chrome, holding what seemed to be a bouquet of flowers.

"Good evening, boss."

"So… you knew, then?" he asked and Chrome nodded. "Everyone knows, but none of us blame Haru-chan. You're the only one that blames her, boss." Tsuna somewhat offended at her last sentence. His fists were clenched in anger and then he approached Chrome only to grab the flowers, ruining them. His narrowed eyes glared at her.

"I order you not to visit her. I'm your boss, so listen what I have to say." Chrome shuddered at his stare that pierced her to the very bone. With a shadowed face, he let his grip go and made her ran away in disbelief and shock.

No matter what they said or reasons did one have, he wouldn't let anyone to see Haru. The thought even to visit her was never there. He simply didn't care; he was no doubt still mad at her.

As the sky was decorated with stars, he sat on the rooftop of his house, looking up to the starry sky thoughtfully. Seeing the stars reminded him of when he, Haru, and everyone watched fireworks from the shrine. A girl like Haru never wanted to hurt people, let alone her best friend.

_Maybe, she didn't mean to do it. Everyone makes mistake… right?_

No, he obviously didn't surrender. He shook his head to erase the idea about forgiving Haru. He wouldn't admit the feeling of guilt for what he did to her, but it was there, in the depths of his heart. He just didn't want to accept it. The guilt he felt was protected by a barrier of pride and ego.

Because killing Kyoko, purposely done or not, she should know better, he thought. To him, her mistake was a mistake he could never forgive. Those two elements that created the barrier kept him stay to his own beliefs, keeping him astray from being who he truly was; forgiving and caring.

_She has to stay away from us._

…

_It wasn't painted in red._

_There was no sign of struggle._

_But their fear, sorrow, and their scream as if still echoed silently throughout the room._

_A massacre, truly, people were lying on the ground without soul, their eyes bulged as if they saw something so frightening as the last sight they saw. The murder was done without sense of humanity, by a cold-blooded and inhuman murderer. But there was no blood. The victims' eyes were gone pitch black._

_One stood amongst the corpses, a young woman with short hair. The image of the whole scene was hazy and rather buzzing, but it was seen, still. She turned her head around, as if she could see a person behind her. And then, she smiled, rather unnerving her smile was._

_She knew the person who stood behind her. She called her name in a very familiar and calm manner._

"_Yuni-chan."_

…

Yuni woke up in short gasp and rose her body up in an instant. She panted, seemingly out of breath due to the terrifying vision that struck her head. Of all visions she had seen, that was the most horrible and dreadful vision, and at the moment the woman called her name, it felt like her happiness was taken away.

"It's a female…" she mumbled, and anxiety roamed around her mind for her incapability to see the woman's face.

Then, the panting stopped and she regained her calm. Although she didn't fully know about the vision, it was enough to set her worries to the maximum level. The anxiety and worries were seen on her face. She knew of it, but all she could do was hope.

"Uncle Reborn, everyone… please, hurry…"

* * *

**I'm working on the next chapter, since I have loads of ideas for it. I hope I can finish it soon.**

**For all who feels annoyed by Tsuna's unreasonable action to not stop blaming Haru, your suffering will be over soon :D**

**If you have any critics, feel free to say it. I'm open for it :)**


	4. Too late

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T own KHR. It belongs to its rightful owner, Amano Akira.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER IV**_

* * *

All of her classmates didn't believe what they were seeing, standing on the doorstep with Tsuna on her back. They were dumbfounded.

"Kyoko!" Hana hugged her without delay. "What happened to you? I thought you're…"

"I'm sorry, Hana. But I have an explanation for everyone." Kyoko replied with a guilty smile.

Therefore, every one of her classmates had their ears on her explanation, aka lies. Tsuna and Ryohei were the only two that knew the truth. Everyone was bewildered by her story, but happy seeing her okay. While cheering for her return, Tsuna, Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Chrome stood still at the back of the class while everyone were surrounding Kyoko in joy.

"Someone helped her out of that coffin? How suspicious…" Gokudera voiced.

"Ma, ma. Don't be so negative. At least she's alright now, right, Tsuna?" Yamamoto addressed him, but he didn't respond, just looking at the crowd with blank look. "Tsuna?"

"Juudaime?" Gokudera tilted his head to see his face. It made Tsuna finally snapped. "Ah! R-Right. Everything doesn't matter as long as Kyoko-chan's okay." he said using façade of a look.

Chrome was standing few meters away from the boys and stared at Tsuna, remembering what had happened yesterday. She was thinking: if Kyoko was alright and unharmed, why did he still mad at Haru? Just thinking about it made her sad to see how a simple accident and his feelings for Kyoko changed him. She lowered her head with gloomy face.

This time, Tsuna looked at Chrome who seemingly dispirited. He approached her, much to her surprise. "What's on your mind?"

"N-No, it's nothing." she averted her face away. Silenced filled their spot for a moment. "I'm sorry," those two words made her flinched and looked at him. "I shouldn't have scolded you like that yesterday."

"It's fine, boss…" she avoided an eye contact with him, but still looked at his face. "It's your order, so…"

Out of the blue, the school bell broke every conversation there and with that, everyone went to their seats. As the teacher was explaining, instead of listening, Tsuna didn't divert his stare away from Kyoko, who was sitting at the front, relief that he could finally in the same classroom as her, although he might not know what she was feeling at the moment, and not a joyful one.

At lunch break, both of his two closest friends were generous enough to let Tsuna ate his lunch together with Kyoko at the rooftop. There were only the two of them there and they started to open their lunch box, but Kyoko seemed down as she was opening it, though Tsuna didn't see it for his eyes were on the lunch box he was opening.

"Tsu-kun…" she called as she held her spoon. "I went to Haru-chan's house, but there's no one there. What happened to her? Is she okay? Was there something going on when I wasn't here?" the concerned look on her eyes as they looked at him was there. He knew she was caring, but for this matter only, he didn't like what he saw.

"Kyoko-chan, can I ask you something? Why are you worried about her? She shot you." the tone and expression he used was a shock to her.

"W-What are you saying? Of course, she's my best friend. And it wasn't her fault. Are you… mad at her? Even though it was just an accident?" he couldn't answer that and averted his stare away from her. "…Is it because of me? Why can't you see she didn't mean to do it?! Haru-chan would never hurt me or anyone and you know that!"

"I know she didn't mean to, but hurting you, whoever it is, I won't just easily forgive. Kurokawa is your best friend, not her. She should know her place. She doesn't belong to us, she's just tagging along. Just look at us, she's a nobody to us, she doesn't hold an important place in our heart. She's not protected by anyone. She's better off for her own good." he replied coldly.

She was in much shock hearing that. More so, the tone he used was more of a shock, it didn't like coming out from Tsuna, who was supposed to be kind, warm, and caring. She put the spoon back, packed her lunch, and stood up. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I can't eat lunch with someone I don't know. I hope you'll realize how wrong you are. Bye."

He just sat and stared as she closed the rooftop door. At first it was Bianchi, and then Chrome, and now, Kyoko. It took three people to snap him, but Kyoko's words were the most stabbing one.

* * *

After school, despite the sun was almost set and no one was there, he was still at his seat, unmoved, and never stopped looking out the window, musing. When he looked at Kyoko and Chrome's looks when he said those harsh words about Haru and he forbid Chrome to visit her, he recalled the paleness of their faces. They were shocked. They were sad. He just realized how he had become a jerk.

Imagined how Bianchi felt, her expression, he hadn't seen it when she had lectured him, but he knew it had to be painful.

"What are you doing here?" he turned his head to the door to see Hibari was at the doorstep. "School hour has ended."

"I know. I'll go home soon." he continued staring at the view. "I just… I still have to think about something. A friend of mine made a mistake. I still think it was her fault, but everyone deserves a second chance... right?"

"Herbivore, your obliviousness astounds me."

"Eh?" Tsuna looked back at him.

"I know about the accident. Miura Haru isn't the one to blame, it's you. Your female herbivore's death is your fault. You expose her to danger. Think about it quick and leave this place before I bite you to death." he stated his mind and left.

Hibari was right, he thought. It was his fault that Kyoko was in danger. He should've seen it coming. He was still incapable of protecting Kyoko, he finally knew that. Haru was just trying to protect Kyoko when he couldn't. She shouldn't be blamed for her effort.

Moreover, ever since her parent's death, she didn't cry or share her sadness to everyone. She simply brushed it off like it was a mere gust of wind, like it was nothing. But with his hyper intuition, he knew Haru had been crying all night alone in her house, perhaps every night. She always smiled in front of everyone, always being cheerful when she probably wasn't.

She was strong. He finally realized she was more than he had ever thought. And he just realized how horrible he was; wanting to shove her away despite she lived her lonely life without parent. Her only support and friends was him and the others, and he wanted to take it away from her. She had given him countless of supports, and never he did the same thing for her, not even once.

Haru was always there for him, but he never did the same for her.

_That time… Haru was just trying to do what I should do..._

This time, he wanted to change that. He wanted to be her support, he wanted to be the one who lent his shoulder for her to cry. He rushed to the hospital with resolution. He felt so stupid to realize it now. He finally took his time to look into the depth of his heart, he finally accepted the guilt. He didn't want to forgive Haru, he wanted to apologize to her.

But that realization came in too late, far too late.

By the time he entered her hospital room, the bed was empty.

"Do you have business here?" a nurse came in.

"Yes, I'm a friend of the patient here, Miura Haru. This is her room, right?"

"Miura… Haru?" the nurse looked surprised. He didn't like the look of it. "What?" he asked as worries started to strike.

"She went missing two days ago." his eyes widened at that answer. "What does that mean?" he asked, and the concern multiplied to an unbelievable amount.

"Her visitor said Miura Haru was missing on her watch, like… she disappeared in a flash."

"Who visited her?" he grabbed her shoulder in agitated feeling. "Mm… I think it's an Italian woman? With a tattoo on her left arm."

He immediately ran out and hastily went home to ask Fuuta. He slammed the living room door open, but to his surprise, Bianchi was there. The atmosphere didn't look good one bit; Fuuta was comforting her, she looked so desperate.

"…Is this what you want? Do you wish for Haru to disappear?" her voice was shaking, as if something crumbled her. "...Congratulations, Tsuna... She's gone, just like you want."

Tsuna held his breath and froze at her remark. Knowing Haru had finally gone, seeing Bianchi's state, it made everything worse. Fuuta dragged him to the stairs and Tsuna sat on it with eyes stayed wide, as if it froze and couldn't return to normal.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Tsuna-nii. The truth is, Bianchi-nee had gone to Haru-nee's aunt to ask her whereabouts and she ended up searching for her together, but she wasn't found. She left her wallet, phone, everything. She said… Haru-nee won't come back. She's gone, forever…"

"No… I won't accept that." Tsuna suddenly stood up and ran outside. With his dying will mode, he went looking for her throughout Namimori. Then, he spotted Gokudera and Yamamoto who was walking from a convenience store.

"Gokudera! Yamamoto!" he landed in front of them.

"Juudaime? Why are you here?"

"Have you guys seen Haru?"

"Huh? No. What did that stupid woman do this time?"

"What's wrong, Tsuna?"

"…She's missing."

"What?" both responded in unison. "Sorry, I don't have time to explain it. I have to find her." after he said that, he flew again.

Gokudera noticed the looks on his face. It was rather surprising from a boy who hurt her. "Juudaime looks so… worried…"

"Yeah, and we have to help him. I'll go look around." Yamamoto left Gokudera. And then, Gokudera started calling Ryohei.

From Ryohei, the news came to Kyoko and then to Chrome. At that night, they ran around Namimori only to find a single girl while Tsuna searched from above. The entire place was touched inside and out, even Tsuna had looked on the mountain. Everyone shouted her name, all with the urge to find her, but even if they kept shouting until their throat dried, they wouldn't get an answer.

After more than an hour searching, they met at the park. Tsuna was still in hyper mode and even more broken when no one claimed they found Haru.

"D-Don't worry, juudaime! I'm sure she's still in this town. She can't go too far with her condition." Gokudera tried to encourage him, but at the moment, Tsuna lowered his head with his face covered with shadow. No one was more devastated, more agitated, and more worried than him.

"Tsuna!" Yamamoto ran to them with Shoichi beside him. "What is he doing here?" Gokudera asked.

"I asked for his help. I thought maybe he has a device for this."

"And I have it, right here," Shoichi showed them a tablet that showed Namimori map. "I have put the names I know in the device. When I input a name, this device will respond to her whereabouts, even if she's abroad." he started to write Haru's name in the device, and then it went to searching state.

But a moment after, his face turned pale, Tsuna could sense something was wrong, but he didn't want to believe that. "...What's wrong? Show me." he snatched the device, but he saw no dot, no beeping, nothing. It was a plain map and letters he feared the most.

**NO MATCH FOUND**

It brought the horror to him. Those three words pierced his heart. It hurt him in an instant. All who saw the three words were as shocked as him, Kyoko even burst in tears. Haru wasn't in Namimori, she wasn't in Japan, she wasn't anywhere in this world. "…This must be broken… she must be at her home now…" Tsuna gave it back to Shoichi and was about to fly to Haru's house, but Kyoko grabbed his hand with tears flowed from her eyes. "She's gone, Tsu-kun!"

"Shut up!" he pulled his hand away and flew to Haru's house. Anxiety ruled his mind, it was chaotic. He knew Haru was gone, but he didn't want to believe it. All he could do was hope._  
_

But his hope failed him.

He slammed the front door open and entered every room in her house, there was nothing but the furniture. The house was dark, so he had to turn on the lights. The only room that wasn't entered yet was her room. While running towards there, he was still hoping for her to be there, to see her face, to hear her voice, to know she was okay.

However, when he slammed the door open, at that moment, the most painful stab pierced his chest. The room was plain empty. Haru wasn't there. At the time he had his orange orbs on her empty room, the reality of knowing the absolute realness snapped him, in a very harsh way.

With agape mouth and widened orange eyes, he walked to her bed and fell on two knees. "Why…?" he gripped onto the bed sheet with trembling hands, helplessly trembling. In his dying will state, his eyes shed tears and those tears flowed and dropped onto the bed. Every drop was meant for her, the tears that couldn't be stopped flowing like a waterfall and made his cheeks wet.

Images of her face appeared on his head, and most of it was her smile and cheerfulness, all that had brightened everyone's lives, the happiness that radiated through her was what she shared to all of them, to him. For the first time, his dying will wasn't meant to protect, but to let out those sadness and grief.

_Why is it happening this way? This isn't what I want…_

_I take it back_

_You're one of us…_

_I'll protect you with my life…_

_You hold an important meaning in our heart…_

_In my heart…_

_You're important to me…_

_Please…_

_I need you, Haru…_

_I don't want you to go…_

_I'm sorry that I hurt you…_

He tightened his grip firmer and more tears were shed. He hoped if he accepted his role as boss, he would be able to protect everyone more often so that he wouldn't have to live with constant guilt and remorse for not being able to protect them. But it happened, and there was nothing he could do. He could scream her name until his voice gone or searched around the whole country, but it wouldn't bring her back.

She was the only one he couldn't protect, a person he saw as something so insignificant. He just realized how important she was to him, and it took her disappearance to snap him. She was gone, and he would never get the chance to say how much he was sorry. And the loss of Haru, compared to Kyoko, it was much more painful, even worse.

In the end, what left him broken made his life plunged into a deep dark hole, and he could never get out from there for the rest of his life. He would live with his fear, with the constant guilt and remorse forever.

_Please…_

_Come back…_


	5. Reunion

**I'm so sorry I couldn't reply your reviews to say thank you. College took my time to do that. I'm getting busier with my schedule... so I'm struggling to survive the thick schedule and ****activities.**

**Enough about that. Thank you for those who took your time to review!**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own KHR. It belongs to its rightful owner, Amano Akira.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER V**_

* * *

_The universe is the pilot of the world_

_The sky is the steward that assures all's safety_

_With his hands outstretched, all come to his arms…_

_But even the limitless sky has its limit…_

_The spring that everyone sees as insignificant…_

_While some embrace with all their heart…_

_Love and happiness it carries for the sake of us…_

_And only us…_

_No matter how heavy it is…_

_Without it, the sky is nothing than a blue coating_

_The spring is the only one he couldn't embrace_

_The only one he let to disappear…_

* * *

_It was a cave, with small trees stood on each side._

_Water on both side were gleaming of rainbow colors and the cave wall shimmered with the water that shone so peacefully._

_The road in the middle and the water as if purposely led one to a pedestal, a pedestal with a strange shimmering and resonating rock. But that wasn't all._

_The rock was suddenly flickering of its glow, as if begging to be taken._

…

The brunette man opened his eyes slowly as the morning light penetrated the curtain of his room. He rose up while holding his forehead, thinking about his dream. It had been for a month since he dreamt that. Moreover, it was what he kept dreaming night after night, nothing else but that vague dream.

Every morning he had to be struck with the uncomfortable thought, like his life was just a déjà vu, nothing out of the ordinary. But a dream only couldn't create such fact. He walked down the stairs of his house, again. Greeted by the silence, again. Eating breakfast alone, again. His life turned upside down ever since Haru disappeared. Even though he still agreed to have the position, no one could've guessed that at the inheritance ceremony, he had been hit with dreadful news about his parent's death. They had been on a trip to Mafia Land and they got killed there by a mafia.

All those harsh training and near-death experiences in the future, battling Byakuran, all to prevent everyone's death, but he couldn't prevent his parent's death.

His life was nothing more but an endless cycle. He would get out of his house if it was necessary, and the places he always went to were only two significant places. Overall, his life ever since 9 years ago was just that, plain and nothing extraordinary.

All started on Haru's disappearance, including his decision to refuse to go to Italy, unless for the ceremony. Ninth was forced to send the private teacher to Japan. A little mistake of his led to a big change, in his life and everybody's life.

He took a bath for 15 minutes and then just as he was going to make a breakfast, a doorbell stopped his intention. When he went to the door, it was Gokudera.

"Good morning, juudaime. I brought you breakfast from Sasagawa."

"Oh… Come in then."

They went to the dining room and sat across each other. Tsuna opened the lunch box; an omurice coated with sauce was in it. "Why did she make this?" Tsuna asked. "I guess she still cares about you, even though you broke up with her 8 years ago." Gokudera answered.

"I know what you're thinking, Gokudera-kun. It's not because of Haru. I came to realize that if Kyoko continues to stay with me, she'll get hurt. I still love her, that never changes." after Tsuna said that, he started eating the breakfast. It took him a year of dating to call her that—and he still did, even when they had broken up.

There was a silence between them. Gokudera stared at his boss thoughtfully while he was eating; he looked so concern about him—though he should, since he was one of the people who knew what Tsuna's life had become.

"It's not just that," he voiced. "Since Haru's disappearance, you never want to get out unless it's urgent. You secede from the society and every day when I or anyone visits you, you're always not here, suddenly leaves to even I don't know where. You never told us where you were."

Tsuna swallowed his food and then said, "I've been training at the mountain."

"Juudaime, you can't continue staying like this. Her loss is hard for everyone; hate to admit it, hard for me, too. There will be a plane to come and get us to Italy. If you could, please consider to move on. Enjoy your breakfast." Gokudera stood up and left the house.

Move on? Hearing the words only already hit him, in an unpleasant way. How could he? He was at fault, he let her to disappear. It wasn't Bianchi's fault to let her disappear on her watch, it was his fault—his stupidity that blindfolded him to see Haru's existence. He didn't embrace her, like how he always embraced everyone. He couldn't see her, not even her shadow.

He knew he should move on, but not when he knew it was his guilt. After eating his breakfast, he went out of his house, but skipped his training and instead went to the second place he usually went to—a place that didn't cross his friends' mind.

He had the key of Haru's house and opened the door. Like what he always did, he inspected if there could be a dust or dirt and found it on her room. He took a broom, a mop, and a bucket of water there and cleaned up the unoccupied room. That activity had been occurring for 9 years and ever since Haru was gone. Sometimes, if the house was clean, he went there wasn't because of the cleaning.

At every step he took, he never stopped hoping for her to come back and when she did, he would let her see her house and she would be greeted by a clean house; it was the main reason why he cleaned her house and went there once a day. He always imagined how her face would like if she saw her clean house after 9 years unoccupied. Sometimes he smiled at that image, sometimes it pierced his heart to imagine her face.

Her house was the only place he felt comfortable for some reason. After he had finished the cleaning, he took the tools back and went back to her room. He sat on the desk and picked a piece of paper and an envelope, and then wrote down his thoughts. At first, he wasn't used to these activities, but now, it flowed so naturally.

After that, he put it inside the envelope and pulled out a box filled with letters under the bed. The letters were organized. As he put it inside, he looked at the letters rather with a blank face. All had his handwriting on each letter. Every time he stared at them, overwhelming sadness came into his heart. Deep down, he knew by writing the letters for her wouldn't bring her back, but he just couldn't stop. He would rather die than to feel those emotions, to know Haru wouldn't come back.

He never stopped thinking about her for a day. If he had, there would've been a day when he hadn't come to her house—but that never happened. In each of those letters had his wish, his undying hope to see her again and to tell her how much he was sorry. But now, that hoped shattered, breaking him to parts.

Drops of water fell onto the letter on the top. Tears were flowing from his eyes. Smile curved on his face, a painful smile that showed as he recalled the contents of the letters; the words he wrote somehow helped him to connect with her, as if he was talking to her through that letter. That made him smile.

But then, that smile disappeared and turned into a profound sadness. He was 24, he was a man, he didn't want to cry, but he couldn't take it. This time, instead of holding it, he let his tears shed as much as it was necessary, because he had to. The silent tears that was flowing like a river was the last form of hope he still had. And minutes after, he wiped away his wet cheek with a resolute mind.

Gokudera was right, he thought. He should move on. Those tears were the last hope he had for Haru to come back. And after this, he would never come back to her house. But despite that, it was a lie if he didn't feel the sadness and guilt anymore. Those would forever be there with him, for the rest of his life.

* * *

With luggage on his hand, he arrived at the airport and walked to the runway where a private plane from Vongola had been waiting for him. Yamamoto, Gokudera, Chrome, and Ryohei came with him. They were waiting for him.

"Yo, Tsuna!" Yamamoto waved at him. "Lambo and the others are already waiting at Italy. We can't make them wait." he continued with his usual cheerfulness and Tsuna nodded with a smile. Just as he was going to walk the stairs to the plane, Ryohei placed his hand on his shoulder, much to Tsuna's confusion.

"Sawada…" the words couldn't come out, but seeing his face, Tsuna already knew. He smiled reassuringly and said, "It's fine, onii-san."

"What?"

"I know Kyoko won't come to bid me farewell. She doesn't like the fact I go to Italy and live as a mafia boss. But it's fine. I have no regrets."

Hearing his statement, Ryohei reluctantly let go and with that, Tsuna and his friends entered the plane while Gokudera murmured in annoyance about Hibari not going to Italy.

As the plane was on its wheel and was gaining enough speed to fly, Tsuna was staring out. After many years, he finally left Namimori. The next day he would go through would be a day without loneliness for he would live in Vongola base. And tomorrow would be the first day without visitation to Haru's house.

"Juudaime," Gokudera came to sit in front of him. "So… you finally decide?"

Tsuna nodded with a smile and then continued looking out the window. "I've realized I've been so selfish for a long time. But even so… even though I decided to move on, I know I can't escape the guilt. Gokudera-kun, the reason why I accepted this role is because I want to protect everyone. That never changes."

"Juudaime…"

"I've failed to protect Haru. That will be the fault I have to live with forever. That's why… I can't let the same thing happen again. This time, I won't let anything happen to all of you."

Gokudera's eyes widened at his resolve, and then smile curved on his lips. "Then, we'll protect you, too, juudaime. We'll share our laughter and smiles together, just like old times." Gokudera stated with his usual joyful grin. Seeing that made Tsuna nodded with a smile and relieved, to know that he was still the same Gokudera. He was glad to know his friends never changed.

"STOP!" much to everyone's surprise, a loud voice was heard, seemingly shouted from a loudspeaker. Everyone stood up in surprise and Tsuna immediately walked to the cockpit, followed by Gokudera. Both were surprised when he saw Shoichi was standing in front of the runway where the plane was going.

"S-Shoichi-kun?!"

"That idiot!"

"Stop the plane!" Tsuna ordered the pilot and the pilot immediately stopped the plane. All came down from the plane, approaching Shoichi, and only Gokudera who looked very much annoyed. "You idiot! You could be crushed!" he scowled.

"S-Sorry, but this is urgent! Tsunayoshi-kun, I want you to postpone this departure. There's something you have to see."

* * *

All ran fast, going to where Shoichi was leading them—to the underground base. They went to the command room and he immediately sat on his post, typing on the computer. On the big screen, as an image of Namimori map appeared, at the same, all thought they were hearing a resonating sound from the screen, it was an unusual sound and inconceivable. They were puzzled by the mysterious sound that pierced their ears and brain.

"I have to tell you, this sound isn't coming from this computer or the screen. It keeps resonating ever since I picked up this." then a red dot appeared on the map, with a three question mark as its title. Then, the image shrank to half as the right side had a statistic appeared. Strangely, the graph was supposed to tell a stable calculation, but not this one. The graph kept going up and down significantly, and tended to go way above the limit. Even though they couldn't understand it, the rapid movement made them uneasy.

"W-What is this?" Tsuna asked as his eyes widened at the calculation.

"This unknown energy has an immeasurable amount of potential, causing the distortion to the calculation. Aside that, to think that it can affect the technology…"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Everyone… what you're seeing now… is a new type of flame," everyone flinched at Shoichi's answer. "If you notice the dot, it's flickering. Common flames can't affect technology like how this flame affecting this screen and computer."

"Why are you showing this to us now?"

"This could be a dangerous flame, Tsunayoshi-kun. According to my calculation, it has been here for years, but we just didn't know. It's a huge possibility there are several—or many mafia family that already knew before us and will come here to get this flame. You must retrieve it now and keep it here safe for the time being until I can deliver my conclusion for the characteristics of that flame."

"All right then. Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto, let's go." the trio left the base. They ran to the back of Namimori Shrine, according to where the dot was. But when they got there, there was nothing there.

All of the sudden, their gears started resonating and glowing. They looked at their gear with confusion at first, but again, surprising them, the gears projected a thin light to an empty space in front of them. They didn't know what was happening, but as they were going to walk to the spot the light showed them, someone jumped from a tree nearby and landed in front of them.

"If you want to pass, you have to go through me." Hibari let out his tonfa.

"I'll take you on!" Gokudera went to battle stance.

"Not you," Hibari said. "Sawada Tsunayoshi."

The three were surprised by the answer, but as Gokudera wanted to dispute, Tsuna raised his arm in front of him, with his dying will activated.

"So be it."

Gokudera was silenced. He listened to his boss and backed away as he and Yamamoto were stuck with a choice to watch them fought. Hibari let out an enormous amount of flame all over his body, enough to blow the air away from him. Even Tsuna had to admit, Hibari was very serious about it, as if there was something important he protected.

But Tsuna didn't just stay quiet; he, too, emitted a massive amount of flame all over his body, his undying flame and will.

The air surrounded them seemed so intense and neither made a move; they were only giving away their sharp stare to each other, both had impenetrable will and resolve in each eyes. Hibari noticed Tsuna's eyes that emblazed with his will, the strong sky flame he emitted, and surely, it was enough for him. He smiled to see that and then his flame gradually wore off.

His action certainly raised a question mark in the three's mind. As Hibari had done so, Tsuna followed his action and the flame on his forehead wore off. Without a word, Hibari turned around and walked away from them, while to their surprise, his face to the back of his head disappeared.

By then, they realized it was a hidden entrance, like what they had for the underground base that was situated at Namimori Shrine. But when they followed Hibari, what they encountered wasn't their base; it was in fact sorely different; a cave with astonishing sight of the stagnant water on each side.

Tsuna's eyes bulged as he saw that view; he recognized that cave, the stone that was placed on a pedestal in front of them. He recalled his dream, the same exact view. However, it was only him that suddenly didn't feel well as his foot entered the cave.

"Is that rock… the source of the flame?" Yamamoto asked as he didn't set his eyes off the rock. "How did you know about this, Hibari?" Gokudera narrowed his eyes on Hibari who just leaned on the cave wall and didn't respond to his question. "Tch. Whatever. Juudaime, we should get that—juudaime?" Gokudera noticed Tsuna's eyes that stayed wide at the rock, seemingly out of his world. And it wasn't just that. "Juudaime... you look pale... are you sick?"

"Hibari-san… you were protecting this place for a long time, weren't you?" Tsuna's sudden question startled Gokudera and Yamamoto over that fact. "How did you know that, Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked.

Tsuna walked to the rock while saying, "I don't. But this place… that rock… all I've dreamt about for the past years." Yamamoto and Gokudera flinched at his confession.

As Tsuna stopped at the rock, he could feel the intense and wild flame it had, like the flame inside of it wanted to burst for being kept too long. And it wasn't just that. Somehow, his intuition told him that flame was just 10% of what this new flame had—a miniscule fragment of the flame. The rock wasn't what Shoichi mentioned—that the owner of the red dot was somewhere in that place.

However, as he picked up the rock, the pedestal literally shattered to small shimmering pieces, the surface of the wall that was supposed to be a dead end emitted a light with a shape of an archway. The light disappeared, so as the wall, revealing what was inside the hidden door—an egg-shaped water tank on the edge of the place and water that surrounded the tank, as if was meant to protect the person inside it. All but Hibari—especially Tsuna widened their eyes in much shock, seeing the person he had been wishing to come back with her eyes closed.

* * *

**A/N: starting from now, I don't know know if I can upload a chapter faster, as you all know the reason why. I won't promise anything, but I'll do what I can to upload the next chapter in less than a month, or I'll try to upload not just this story, but my other stories as soon as I can.**

**Ciao!**


	6. Wish of heart

**As usual, thank you so much for those who have reviewed the previous chapter! I'm sorry I couldn't reply to your reviews. I didn't have enough time to do that. But anyway, here's the new chapter.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I won't get bored to say that KHR belongs to Amano Akira. And I'm obviously not Amano Akira.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER VI**_

* * *

After nine years of the wait, he finally got to see her again. She grew to be unexpectedly gorgeous, despite that her beautiful eyes were closed. Her hair length seemed never grow, stayed at the same shoulder-length. He was happy—or wanted to. He just couldn't bring himself to smile in tears or simply be happy.

December 23rd; snow covered the whole town. Before they took Haru to the underground base, the weather was friendly, but ever since that, it suddenly became wild, as if nature was angry for their action to take her away from the cave.

He looked at the sleeping young woman who had medical equipment on each side and an oxygen mask to help her breathing. Her heartbeat and pulses were stable. But he couldn't touch her at that moment, as much as he wanted to. His role there was just a bystander, to see Chrome and Bianchi were there for Haru.

To their surprise, someone slammed the door open and it was surprisingly Kyoko. "Haru-chan! Is that Haru-chan?!" she immediately ran to her best friend's side.

"Haru-chan… Haru-chan…" she was sobbing, her tears made drops to Haru's cheek. Kyoko wiped her tears away and approached Tsuna. "Tsu-kun… thank you for bringing her here…" she held his hand while still wiping her tears. She suddenly realized the temperature of Tsuna's hand, which usually belonged to a sick person.

Without delay, Tsuna pulled his hand away as gentle as possible. "I'm sorry, Kyoko. I have to leave. Please, all of you, do everything you can to keep Haru out of harm's way."

"We will, Tsuna. Now, go." after Bianchi said that, Tsuna left the infirmary.

Along the way to the command room, his pale face expressed not just a sickness indication, but also anger and annoyance. As he arrived, everyone had gathered there, and much to everyone's surprise, he immediately grabbed Hibari's collar.

"Explain!" he shouted. "Why didn't you say anything about her? All this time, you knew about it, didn't you?!"

"T-Tsunayoshi-kun, calm down…" Shoichi agitatedly tried to cool Tsuna's head, but he was ignored.

"Is this some kind of punishment for me?! Or a joke?! I'm not laughing! I know I hurt her in the past, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to see my mistake, but hiding her away isn't the answer! You can't fool me! You discovered her many years ago, but what I fail to understand is why?! You were protecting the cave from everyone and you were hiding her from me, weren't you?!"

Hibari just stood in silence as he stared at Tsuna's brown eyes that fueled with anger.

"Answer me!"

"That's right," he finally answered. "The reason is simple: for you to become a powerful sky. Training at the mountain alone… remorse and guilt made you stronger… but most of all, loneliness drove you to cross your limit. Her loss is what made you stronger. In this world, the strong survives and the weakling dies. You, for one, have to be strong and survive."

"What?!" Tsuna became more furious at Hibari's cold answer. That rage face went cool as Tsuna's face became paler and he fell on two knees.

"Juudaime/Tsuna!" Gokudera and Yamamoto immediately approached him. When Yamamoto saw his sweat and sensed the unusual warmth in his hand, he checked his temperature on his forehead. "Tsuna, you're burning up!"

"What?! But he was fine before—" Gokudera snapped as he finally noticed the cause. "The cave caused this…? But we're fine…"

"I… want to see… Haru… now…" Tsuna even had a quite hard time to talk. "I want to… apologize… I want to… hold her hand… all the things I… couldn't done before…"

"Juudaime…" Gokudera gave off a sympathetic look to him.

"You should worry about yourself, Sawada. She's with Kyoko and the others. You can see her after you're getting better." Ryohei said.

"Tch…"

…

_Tsuna's eyes stayed wide at the sight of the familiar female who was inside that tank. "…This is a lie… Haru… that's… Haru… why is she here…?"_

_Afterwards, Tsuna drank his pills and with his gloves, he punched the tank with his blazing fist, but he couldn't even make a simple crack. He kept on punching it rapidly, but no still no crack. "What?! This tank…"_

"_Looks like this tank can withstand dying will flame," Yamamoto walked to the tank with his unsheathed sword. "Step aside, Tsuna." as Tsuna stood away, Yamamoto slashed the tank and finally, the tank was divided in half._

_The water came out and Haru fell. Yamamoto caught her and then Tsuna immediately held her in his arms. "Haru, can you hear me?! Haru! Haru, wake up!"_

…

"Tsu-kun!" Tsuna snapped out of his thought as he heard Kyoko's voice and then saw her panting. "Kyoko? What's wrong?" Ryohei approached his sister.

"Haru-chan… she left…"

The guardians, except Hibari ran to the infirmary, where they surprisingly found Chrome and Bianchi on the floor and the empty bed.

"Sis!" Gokudera approached his sister and held her.

"She touched them…" Kyoko voiced. "She opened her eyes… and looked at Bianchi-san first. Her eyes looked very… cloudy like she didn't realize what she did. She… touched Bianchi-san and then she fell. After that, she touched Chrome-chan and it happened again. When I thought she was going to do the same thing to me, she just… stared at me… like a dead fish… what's wrong with her? That wasn't the Haru-chan I know…"

"Do you know where she was going?" Tsuna asked in myriad of worries. "She went to the entrance… gate A…" Tsuna's eyes widened, thinking the horror that might fall on Haru. Without further ado, he left the infirmary and ran to the gate.

"W-Wait, Tsu-kun! Don't go outside!" Kyoko immediately chased him, but for a sick person, due to the adrenaline, he beat Kyoko's normal running speed. When her foot stepped outside, snowstorm already hit on Namimori. It was intense and wild enough to keep her in. And Tsuna, with his unpromising condition, he ran to find Haru alone, in that storm.

* * *

The door of Haru's room was opened as an individual walked in with her white dress. She was holding a set of clothing, seemingly her mother's old clothes. She changed her attire there, feeling nostalgic for it was her old room. She wore collared white shirt under a dark blue sweater, a black skirt, and black boots with over-knee socks. She rolled the sleeves up. Her eyes were no longer cloudy, but there was profound sadness tinted.

She wasn't happy at all to see her friends; she knew how dangerous as a being she was. She knew she shouldn't be awakened, but it happened. As of this moment, all she could think about was to leave Namimori, away from society and her friends. The main reason for her to go to her house was only to get Reborn's gun.

And she found it where she left it; stuck in a narrow gap between the wall and her bed. Then, she lay on the bed while staring at the gun. Every time she looked at it, she recalled her promise with Reborn. She remembered she also promised to make everyone happy and be by Tsuna's side, but now, all she could do was to protect them from afar.

In truth, she wanted to be with her friends so much, but her position couldn't let that. She had to leave quickly and lived a lonely life. Just as she rose up and placed her foot onto the floor, it touched something under the bed and she didn't recall having anything under there, so she kneeled and let out all of the boxes there.

She was surprised seeing several boxes with letters. She opened it one by one, she read them all, envelops and letters were scattered on her bed. She could never predict of who wrote it.

_May 2__nd__, 20XX_

_Hey, Haru, it's me. It's been a year since you left and I broke up with Kyoko. I don't want anything like before happened to her, so I did it. I hurt her. Anyway, everyone's doing fine and of course, I'm… well, I'm fine, just like everybody else. I decided to not go to Italy and have the private teacher from ninth here. I feel bad for ninth, but still, everyone supports me._

_But seriously, this teacher is really as cold as Hibari-san and almost as Spartan as Reborn! But I'll survive… somehow. I hope you'll come back soon, Haru. We all miss you._

_Sincerely your friend,_

_Sawada Tsunayoshi_

_._

_May 3__rd__, 20XX_

_Happy birthday, Haru! I'm writing this letter now in your room. Oh, don't get me wrong! I just like to come here often. W-Well, I'm not a stalker, so don't even think about that! Anyway, I have a cake here with me. It's actually for you, but since you're not here, I'll blow the candle for you… there I blew it. Since no one's here with me, I guess I'll eat the whole cake myself, huh. Ahahaha… I just humiliated myself in front of you, didn't I? Honestly, I can't eat this cake alone, so I think I'll give it to mom and the kids._

_Lambo, you see… he kept asking about you. He's being the usual snotty kid as always and continues to wreck everything, but I know… deep down, he wants to cry. Even though he's just a kid, he's like you, strong and loved by everyone. I happen to catch him crying in his sleep, calling your name. After that, he stopped asking for you, but I know he actually wants to, but he knows even I feel devastated by your disappearance too. He knows he has to hold onto it himself._

_Oh yeah, I still have the dolls from you. I'll continue to cherish it forever. It brings happiness to me, so you don't have to worry about me, I'm happy. Anyway, I have to go now. I have a lesson waiting for me. See you tomorrow, Haru._

_Sincerely your friend,_

_Sawada Tsunayoshi_

_._

_December 23__rd__, 20XX_

_It's been 9 years since you're missing… This morning, Gokudera-kun came by and brought a breakfast from Kyoko. She still cares about me, after all. But still, she can't be together with me. I'm a mafia boss now. I can't let anything bad happen to her… but I still love her. Gokudera-kun… he wants me to move on and forget about you. How can I? I'm the one who hurt you. It's all my fault. You've done everything you can for me and you're always there for me, even more often than Kyoko. But knowing you, you would probably tell me to move on. And when I think about it, Gokudera-kun was right. I should move on, for everyone's sake._

_My life isn't the same as before you're still here. I lied to you through the letters I wrote. To tell you the truth, I wasn't happy at all. Not ever. Ever since you're missing, my life has turned upside down. I refuse to go to Italy to do my work properly. Thinking about you… is something I want to keep doing. Writing those letters… is the only thing that makes me feel alive, it feels like I'm talking to you, even though you're not here._

_Haru… you're probably thinking you're not loved by everyone, but you're wrong. Everyone loves you, adores you… even me. The bond you shared with us is something we never want to forget nor let go. Even though you can't come with me to Italy, you'll always be with me… in my heart and in everyone's heart. Wherever you are, I hope you're safe. I hope you'll come back soon. We miss you, Haru… I miss you… so much._

_I love Kyoko, but even so, I want to hold you and... I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I never try to look at you. Because of my blindness, you're gone. I let you go. I didn't protect you, like how I protect everyone. I'm not asking you to forgive me—you probably won't forgive me, but please… please come back… don't make me hurt myself… don't make me kill myself… without you, I'm just… Dame-Tsuna. I'm afraid I won't be able to protect anyone now that you're not here. You are and always will be the spring that fills the sky with tranquility and peace. You always lifted my spirits—though sometimes in a weird way. I cherish every moment we spent, but… I don't want that to stop. I want you to stay by my side… forever if it has to._

_I never stopped cleaning your house and come here every day. That just shows how much I want you back, so that you'll be surprised to see your clean house when you're back. It hurts, Haru… it hurts so much. I want you back… I want to repay everything you've done for me. Please, say something… just a word… please… I miss your voice…_

_I'm sorry…_

_I'm sorry…_

_I'm very sorry…_

_Sincerely,_

_Sawada Tsunayoshi_

The last letter she read was dated today. The words blurred as tears fell on it. She just realized how much she hurt Tsuna. She just knew how much she meant to everyone, to him, but it was much more painful when she knew she couldn't be with them, even though she wanted to. However, if she left, she would hurt them, hurt Tsuna more.

By then, she suddenly remembered about her attribute. One of the few she could suck from human was their memories. She got an idea of what she was about to do.

* * *

Everyone was waiting anxiously at the command room. They couldn't anything due to the snowstorm. More so, Gokudera felt agitated for his boss's well-being and he had been waiting for long. He stood up from his chair, "That's it! I'm going to look for juudaime and Haru."

"You can't, Gokudera-kun! The snowstorm will prevent you!" Kyoko said.

"Then, what am I supposed to do? Juudaime is out there, looking for Haru in his bad condition. What if something bad happens to him?! Or worse, what if something happens to both of them?!"

Everyone had no words to go against that. Silence mingled with the tense air.

"Stop it." Gokudera stiffened as he heard a voice. There she was, standing near the command room entrance with a forced smile. "I'm back, everyone."

Kyoko and Lambo immediately hugged her in tears. Everyone froze, seeing Haru was in sight. "So… you're okay, huh." Gokudera scratched his head.

"I'm sorry to make you worry." she said with a guilty smile. Now, all she had to do was to wait a chance to erase their memories about her.

"Where's Tsuna, by the way?" Yamamoto asked.

"Eh?" Haru blinked. "Isn't he supposed to be with you?"

"No… Tsunayoshi-kun left to search for you… in his bad condition."

"What…?"

"He's having a fever." Shoichi added.

Haru's eyes bulged at that statement. Having thought of nothing but his safety, she ran to the gate in a hurry.

~#~

"Why her?" a baby covered with bandages asked a person who had a checkerboard tattoo through a mirror. "I thought for a moment you would do another rotten thing to me. But instead, you chose a girl as the sustainer. What's in that head of yours? A person like her can't bear the dusk flame. That flame isn't something trivial to merge it with a girl's body."

"I don't care about who I'm going to chose. As long as this world's safe, I'll do anything—and besides, she knows the risk. If you were there, you would know how determine she was—a perfect vessel for the flame, one who has a resolve far stronger than any normal human. Have faith in her."

"She shouldn't be awakened."

"She already has. The Vongola found her already."

"What? Then, you do know other mafias are racing for her flame."

"Does that concern me?"

"Not yet. You said the reason you chose her because of her resolve to protect her friends. But altogether, you're turning her into a villain."

"True… but the Void within her isn't fully awakened yet. As long as she still has her humanity, she won't hurt the Vongola, the bearer of Trinisette. The Void inside her knows its boundaries. You know? This is very unusual from you, Bermuda. Are you worried about that girl?"

"Nonsense. You've told me about the Void. I personally don't care if she has to bear that cursed flame, but if her humanity deteriorates, we'll all be her "food". The Void is her subconscious and soon will be her conscious. She may not be human anymore, but her sense of humanity that still lives will gradually die and make her to become a full heartless Void that lives by feeding on people's lifespan, energy, soul, or memories. We are her food. We're at disadvantage more since she's not allowed to die. So tell me, why should I be worried about a female who targets me as her food?"

Kawahira just smiled.

"You should've predicted that."

"Her purpose is to live as the balancer. If she's dead, so will the world be. I have no choice or it'll be the end of everything exists. The Void, to me, is like a teenage daughter in a rebel state. I can't control Miura Haru. The more she's pushed by a situation, the more the Void will deteriorate her humanity, leaving her without a heart. But I'm not worried. I don't care about lives she'll feed on as long as she's alive and the balance is kept. But one thing for sure… she will be the villain."

~#~

"Tsuna-san! Can you hear me?!" Haru kept screaming his name under the snowstorm. She didn't have any coat or protection, but one of the merits she had as a nonhuman was that she didn't have to worry about getting sick. Her endurance was very strong. But even so, the raining snow that relentlessly hit her face blurred her vision.

As she walked past Tsuna's house, she noticed the gate was swinging over the wind, indicating someone entered the house. Having a prediction, she went inside, only to find him lying on the floor.

"Tsuna-san!"

At that moment, as if everything went by on itself. Haru was driven with the adrenalin to help him. She carried him to his room and prepared cold water and a small towel. Then, just as she was going to cover him with a blanket, she noticed the remains of the snow on his knees. Judging from it, she assumed—or knew that he had fallen near his house.

"Thank goodness it's near…" she continued to cover him and then put the wet towel on his forehead. Afterwards, she rummaged the house to find a medicine, but found nothing. She had no choice but to come back to his room. She folded her legs to sit on the floor while looking at him.

She couldn't do anything but looked at him. He unexpectedly grew to be a good-looking man; she smiled a bit at that thought. That smile gradually disappeared, knowing his fever was unbelievably high, he could die. At this moment, there was so much profound sadness in her heart. Seeing him in that state, it was hard to bear that feeling.

"Why… why did you come to me…? I never want to be rescued…"

"…ru…"

"Eh?"

"Haru… don't… leave me… again…"

She was dumbfounded. The way he mumbled seemingly out of desperation and worries. She could see how concern and sincere he was. Even though he was aware of his condition, he still went to find her; it made her happy but also tore her heart to pieces. Tsuna at the moment was very weak and in front of her eyes, terrible thing would happen to him if he stayed like this.

It hurt her, so much. It just made her wanted to be by his side more, but she knew she couldn't. Her hands that were balled on her lap tightened; a sign of her choice to end her bond once and for all. A faint black-flame emitted from her index finger and it was going to touch his forehead in order to erase his memories about her. She decided to go on a lonely path.

But strangely, it stopped right before it touched his forehead. Her hands were trembling. Seeing his face, it reminded him why she became an arcobaleno and how she loved him so much. She lowered her finger and the flame lit off. She buried her face onto the bed near his face. _"Haru wants to be a costume maker!" _the voice of her past echoed through her head.

…

"_Wow! It's beautiful!" little 6 years-old Haru was on her mother's lap, staring at meteor shower that painted the dark sky genuinely. "Mommy!"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Is it true? That if you wish on a shooting star, you'll get your wish come true?"_

_Her mother giggled at Haru's innocence. "Yes, Haru. Do you have dream?"_

_Haru nodded vigorously. "Ne, ne. Today the teacher told us to write our dream in a paper, so Haru did! Haru wants to be a costume maker!"_

"_Oh, that's a good dream, Haru. You have a shine like the sun that never dies. Everyone will be happy to wear your costume." Haru's face brightened at her mother's kind words. "I'm happy for you! But remember, Haru," she pointed at Haru's chest. "Your dream comes from your heart. If one day, you have a wish but you feel you can't make the cut, if you're lost and you don't know what to do, when that time comes, you should trust your heart… no matter how the situation can be."_

"_Follow my… heart?"_

_Her mother nodded in a smile. "That way… you won't have any regrets. All you have to do is to close your eyes and listen to what your heart wants."_

…

"Mom…"

Her mother died without Haru made her proud. She didn't get the chance to know what Haru wanted, to see it became reality. However, Haru couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't see her mother, she couldn't hear her soft soothing voice anymore. She only wanted one thing.

She wanted to be with Tsuna. She wanted to see his smile. She wanted to keep feeling his presence. Even though she couldn't be his lover, she wanted to be the one who Tsuna would ask for a shoulder, to listen to his problem and help him. She wanted to be by his side even though it might hurt her later.

"Mom…" she rose up and sat on the bed. Tears started to shed from her brown eyes, as form of her restrain feeling that she finally let go. "My wish… my heart wants to stay here… I want to be with this man. Even if he won't love me back, I want to be his shield. I want to protect him. But right now… he has to get out of here alive and healthy."

She moved the towel away and kissed his forehead with tears that continued to flow and fell to his cheek. As her lips gently touched his forehead, the production of sweat on his face and body stopped and his face was no longer pale. When she pulled away, his fever was gone. She absorbed his fever and now, it was her who had to endure that illness.

But all was worth it for her. As long as he was alright, nothing mattered to her, not even her own life. "Thank goodness…" smile curved on her lips, knowing he wasn't sick anymore. Despite that, her eyes were slowly shutting close. "I'm… glad…" and with that, her head fell on his chest.

At that moment, the tears were stuck in her eyes. Her body started burning up and she started sweating. Sadly, at the moment where she absorbed his fever, it was the trigger for what would come. A conflict, corpses, and darkness she would bring to her friends' lives. And half an hour later, Tsuna opened his eyes.


	7. the Vongola dusk ring

**I'm so sorry about the delay. Thank you who have reviewed the previous chapter! Although I don't force you to review, your review still means everything to me, a motivation to keep me going. Anyway, here's the new chapter :)**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER VII**_

* * *

The fever had gone, but his head still felt as if the world around him shaken. It was faintly recognized, but either it was a dream or not, it felt like real—the warmth of the touch on his forehead, that swept away his fever.

Finally, he noticed something was on top of him, he was caught in surprise that it was the girl he looked for—but she found him first. She was apparently sleeping. "Haru? Haru." he grabbed her arms and shook her body, but as he felt the hot air steaming out from her, it was as if a hammer hit his head. When checked her temperature, it was hot. He immediately rose up and held her body tight.

"Wake up! Open your eyes!" he cupped her cheek and shook her body, but she didn't move an inch. Worse, his eyes widened in horror as Haru wasn't breathing. But no, he wouldn't lose her again. He carried her and slammed the front door open.

* * *

He supposedly felt relaxed for she had been given an effective medicine—not as effective as Dr. Shamal's, but at least it healed her. In truth, he wasn't that relaxed. He sat on a chair and looked at her sleeping face. It was pale before, but now, she looked so peaceful. He could feel at ease now that she was out of danger, and she was now breathing.

He knew what she did. He dreamt about it. He felt it. Although he couldn't have been in conscious state, he knew what caused him to get healed quickly and why it got transferred to her. A sound of door opening behind him made him to look back.

"How are you?" Ryohei asked. Tsuna nodded and said, "I feel fine now. Chrome and Bianchi, how are they?"

"They're sleeping. Don't worry, they're unharmed."

Having heard that, Tsuna smiled a bit, "I'm glad," he turned his head back to look at Haru. "What exactly happened to them? How on earth could she do that?"

"Whatever she did, it didn't cause extreme damage. As a boxer, my guts tells me she made them too tired—like she wiped their energy to almost zero. But I'm extremely sure she didn't do it on purpose. She's still the same girl we know." Ryohei crossed his arms as he nodded to his own assumption.

"Then, why did you send Kyoko home?" that question changed Ryohei's expression. "You don't want your sister to get hurt, do you?"

"It's not like that at all, Sawada. We have our own speculation about Haru, like ever since she was taken here, the weather started messing up, and when you took her here in unconscious state, the weather turned normal. Moreover, it's not just me, but we all agree that sometimes we feel weird around her."

"Onii-san. There are a lot of things we don't know about the 9 years gap, about what happened to Haru. Few hours ago, I was lying on the floor. Before I knew it, I could feel myself on a bed. I couldn't speak and I couldn't wake up. I was going to die. Then, a miracle happened. When her lips touched my forehead, I began feeling better. I woke up to know the fever was transported to her. I don't know how, but I knew… she absorbed the fever. She took the pain to herself. That unselfish action and sincerity, tell me this isn't the weird, honest, and kind Miura Haru."

"Gokudera and the rest mentioned about the 9 years gap, it should be the cause of her 'abnormality'. They immediately discussed it when they found out what happened to Chrome and Gokudera's sister. My guts is telling me there's a possibility someone changed her and gave her new power that can even absorbed your fever. Kyoko said it herself she did it unconsciously. She could—"

"Hurt me too, I know. But even so, I don't want to lose her again."

Ryohei stood in silence as he eyed on Tsuna. That persistence of him whenever regarding his friends, he smiled in satisfaction at that. "All right. If the boss says so."

"Eh? Onii-san?" he turned around, blinked in confusion.

"You're not the only one who doesn't want to lose her, you know. Though we may feel that way, we want her to stay. 'A friend who accepts another whoever they are', you taught us that, Sawada."

"Thanks…"

"I'll send the best Mafioso to guard Kyoko. In the meantime, you have more important things to protect." Tsuna gave a brief look at Ryohei as he left before he turned his head back to the sleeping girl.

Tears formed on her right eye, he was a bit surprised. He wiped the tears gently; something told him she embraced an unspeakable pain. _It's me, isn't it? _"You don't have to cry anymore, Haru. We're here… I'm here now."

He watched her in silence before letting out a frustration sigh as he grasped his head. _Why…? Am I not a good friend? If I can't even protect one friend… then who the heck am I?_

A sound of ringtone from his phone was heard and he picked it up. "Hello."

"Tsunayoshi-kun, as you requested, I've found several information you need. How's the rock?"

"It's no use. You said in order to open what's inside the rock, it needs a certain flame, but it won't open."

"Ah, sorry, that's misleading. Can you meet me at my apartment now?"

"Okay." he hung up. Before he stood up, he gazed at her for a moment. _I wonder… if I apologized to you 9 years sooner, would you forgive me then?_

~#~

Dozens of Mafioso lined up before their boss. "This is the time, my comrades. We will take the flame from Vongola. Kill them if you have to. We mustn't let them take all the power to themselves. Now I ask you, are you ready?"

"Yes!" all shouted in unison.

"Good. Now, go get that flame!"

~#~

A knock on the door was heard and Shoichi opened it and let Tsuna in. Tsuna followed him to his room, where Shoichi sat in front of his computer and showed a biography belonged to a man with black hair and dirty red eyes. It was hard to believe when Tsuna saw his face and his profession; he was too good-looking for a scientist. He could be a model.

"I don't need to tell you about this person, except for his work." he clicked the 'achievement/report' part next to his info. Tsuna read the article about his work and seemingly he earned a reward for it at almost every one of his work, but he never accepted the rewards. "Look at this part," Shoichi pointed at one paragraph. "This says one year ago, a new type of flame had been detected, powerful one and ownerless, meaning no one has that flame inside their body. It's the rock you found."

"Well, Hibari-san found the rock and Haru years ago, but he didn't speak out the info. So, this is really what other families are searching for? Are you sure?"

"The timeline matches. In less than two months after the report was published, many let out huge amount of money to find the flame. Nero Oscura is a talented 26 year-old man, almost as skillful as Verde, apparently. And yes, I'm sure. It's on his report, right here. It also says no one should get that flame, aka the mafia."

"'in order to let out its real form, a same attribute of flame is required'," Tsuna quoted a sentence on the report. "What? I thought there's only one, this rock." Tsuna pointed the photo of the rock on the monitor. "…it's not only the rock, Tsunayoshi-kun." seeing Shoichi's eyes, he instantly figured out what he meant. His eyes widened of knowing that. "No… it's not possible… you said no human has it."

"Then, why was she there? It's not 100% sure, but it's a possibility."

"There's no possibility! She's just a civilian! She can't be a flame-user!" he yelled at his face and Shoichi was struck with shock. It took seconds to realize his bursting anger. "Sorry…"

"I-It's okay. You're right. Moreover, one should have strong resolve to have flame, more so the dusk flame." having heard him, Tsuna sat on his bed, hands intertwined and his brown eyes looked at the floor.

"Why are you seeing her now?"

"What?" he looked up to meet Shoichi's face.

"I-I mean, before y-you—never mind, f-forget it."

Tsuna knew what he meant. He looked down again. "I was a 14 year-old kid who cared about protecting others and Kyoko… but not Haru, just because I thought she had no reason to stay with us. I never tried to understand her and see her. I always ignored her whenever she approached me. She always did everything for me, she was even willing to fall to save me and Lambo. She always helped me. She was the one who saw my flaws more often than anyone—even than Kyoko. But she kept stay with me, anyway. I'm stupid, Shoichi-kun… that's why I'm able to see her just now."

"What… do you want to do now?"

"Don't know. But I won't leave her alone again. I want to be the one she will ask for help, to cry on my shoulder. I want to be her savior once again. I want to be her friend once again. But will she give me a second chance?"

"You're saying you won't leave her out of your sight?" Tsuna's face flushed, "T-That's not it! You make me sound like a creep."

Shoichi smiled. "Everyone deserves a second chance. How about this, we're going back to the base now and see whether she forgives you. Sounds good?"

"Yeah, thanks…"

* * *

The base was a dead silence. All guardians were out, buying things for Christmas party tomorrow. In that empty base, there was a resonating sound. From the deepest level to the infirmary, her ears could hear it. Haru opened her eyes, greeted by the sound, as if it was calling out to her. She walked towards the sound in slow pace until she arrived at a secret lab. The rock was in the middle of the white room, on a pedestal.

It resonated and reverberated in front of her. She was being summoned, she walked to it and a single touch from her finger made a rainbow glow on the rock. The top deformed, cracked, and let out a pacified with solid yet clear color of orange, like the color of the sky in dusk. The pacified shone bright on her face; it was a pure light it gave off. She took it.

Much to her surprise, a tremor was felt. Before she ran to the upper level, she put the pacified inside her pocket. She ran along the base, no one was there, and unfortunately as she was heading towards the exit, a group of Mafioso stood in her way. She stopped.

One man, the boss held a device and then pointed his finger at her. "She has it! Get her!"

Tsuna and Shoichi chatted while walking to the base. The weather was nice, and Tsuna himself needed to cool down. He was enjoying the conversation, until he almost got hit by a car.

"Whoa, that was close." he sighed in relief while looking at the car. But a shock struck him like a thunder, seeing as the car bumped into a rock and the trunk got opened a bit, Haru was inside, tied up. His eyes bulged in surprise, including Shoichi who saw her. Immediately, Tsuna drank his pills and wore his gloves.

"Go back to the base and tell everyone to guard the rock!"

"A-All right!" Shoichi began running.

With anxiety and worries, he pursued the car as fast as he could, but the drive was insane! Driving with that speed in a residential area. He eventually lost it in the mountain. He couldn't stay still, he was restless. He couldn't hope for her well-being, not when hope had failed him 9 years ago, and not when she was kidnapped by a mafia.

He flew throughout the area until he found a cave with metallic door and two Mafioso and the car outside. One Mafioso immediately spotted Tsuna. "That's—!" but he got knocked out by Tsuna's punch and the other one got punched to the metallic door before he could draw his gun, causing a curve to it. The indignant boss grabbed his collar and narrowed his resentful eyes, "If she's hurt, I swear I'll kill you."

The Mafioso sneered. "You? Kill? You wouldn't…"

"Watch me."

Inside the tunnel, he swept anyone in his way. He was in a hurry to save Haru. He was unstoppable, until he arrived at a dead end. He forgot Ignoto Family was specialized in hiding their presence. And when he turned around, he went blackout, only seconds after to find himself lying on the ground with blurry vision and bleeding head.

"What was that?" Haru jerked as she heard the hard crash, like a metal crashing against a vulnerable object.

"That's just a big 'bug'," the boss walked towards her while she was tied to a chair. "You should worry about yourself."

"What do you want from me?"

"You have what I want. Maybe it's in the pocket on your skirt." he started put his hand inside the pocket, but what he brought out was a pacifier. "What's this thing? Where's the rock?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Put it back." Haru narrowed her eyes on him.

"Okay, okay. If the lady says so." he put it back inside. After he put it, he pointed a gun at her forehead. "You must've hidden it. I say you have swift hands. As expected from Vongola to recruit such talented… 'Magician' like you."

"I'm not a mafia and neither do I belong to Vongola."

"For your own sake, don't lie. If you're not, then why were you at their base?"

"They were helping me, that's all. I don't know them."

"Really?" he withdrew the gun. "Bring him here."

She was shocked, seeing who the Mafioso brought. His head was bleeding and he was unconscious.

"Tsuna-san!"

"So, you do know him." the boss said. Then, he beckoned his men to untie Haru. She immediately approached Tsuna after that.

"Tsuna-san! Tsuna-san!" she kept shaking his body, his eye was opened a bit. That was all he could do with his current state. "Haru…?" the blood flowed through his one closed eye. "Run…"

"No!"

"You have nothing… to do… with this…"

She flinched he said those words. He never knew what Haru truly was… until this day. "You're wrong, Tsuna-san…" she said softly while wiping the blood on his face. "I'm the one they're after. I have the flame."

"You bring… the rock?"

"It's not the rock," she replied. "It's me. I have this flame inside my body." his brown eyes widened in much shock. Even though the enemies were surprised, they weren't as surprised as him. It was the disbelief look he had, a tint of a feeling of betrayed—but not betrayed by her. He was betrayed by his own belief.

"Don't joke around, young lady," the boss said. "A flame wouldn't choose a civilian like you. I need that flame to rule the entire mafia organization, so you'd better tell me where the rock is or I'll make a hole on Vongola Decimo's forehead." he aimed his gun at Tsuna.

Haru didn't budge to that threat. She kept silent for a moment. "I don't know why you want this flame. This is a cursed flame. At the moment I accepted this flame, I accept every negative emotion that flows into my heart. But I won't let you use me or this flame. Because the only reason I bear this flame is because of him. I live because of him. That's why, I'll use this flame to be his shield. This time, I'll be the one to protect him."

When Haru spoke her resolve, the rock the guardians were protecting shone brightly and hovered before it disappeared in front of them. The darkness that surrounded the room was shattered by the bright light that shone from above, the rock slowly made its way to Haru's hands, and as her palm touched it, the rock shattered into rainbow pieces and became a sword with spiral, unique hilt.

The last small piece of the rock on her hand shattered and became a ring with similar shape as Vongola's ring original shape, with diamond cut center stone which had a small drawing of a setting sun on the horizon. But there was no doubt it had Vongola mark etched above the setting sun. The stone color was orange dusk.

Tsuna widened his eyes, seeing the ring that looked exactly like Vongola guardian's original ring. Like everyone else, he was speechless and only eyes that took part of watching the surprising event. Haru clenched the ring inside her hand. She knew why it had that form, because it was her wish. With a smile that curved on her lips, she wore it on her right middle finger.

When she stood up, to everyone's surprise, she used the sword to cut her hair. Strands of brown hair dropped onto the ground with steady motion as Tsuna looked at her into her shadowed face. When she whirled around, the enemies immediately aimed their gun at her; no doubt they felt agitated. Slowly, she opened her two eyes, and they were shimmering red blood.

**[HUMANITY PERCENTAGE]**

**100%**

**l**

**90%**

* * *

**I won't upload anything in two or three weeks. Yes, delay again, sorry. There's so many assignments to be done and I'll face exam two weeks later.**

**.**

**WARNING!**

**There will be quite a lot (or some) Tsuharu moments in the future chapters (that's what I've been planning). Well, this story plot needs it. Of course, a story has to have the ups and downs. Besides, do you think just because Tsuna still loves Kyoko, I'll put many Tsukyo? Nay! This is Tsuharu fic!**

**If you don't like the idea, I kindly suggest don't read. I've warned you. Also, I'll put a few Hibaharu scenes.**

**I repeat, don't like it? Don't read.**


	8. With a heartache feel

**Once again, all who have reviewed the previous chapter, you have my thanks. I was going to upload this chapter after my exam, but I have a week of free time before the next subject. So, I'll be using these 7 days to work on my stories aside studying. I'm beginning to think there's too much depression in this story, but hey, not everything has to go on smoothly. And probably in the future chapters, hopefully the depression will decrease.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. It belongs to its rightful and respectful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER VIII**_

* * *

None could face the fear that stood in front of them. With eyes as clear as fresh blood, cold stare that meant no humanity or mercy. Her ring emitted black, almost invisible flame. One Mafioso mustered up, ran towards her while attempting to hit her head with his gun. In swift, Haru moved sideways and a bit forward. The Mafioso was open to attack. Without doubt, she pressed a small switch on the hilt; the sword's blade shrank to a dagger blade. She twirled the hilt to holding it upside down and stabbed his back.

It was inconceivable such action was done by a vulnerable young woman. The other enemy charged towards her with an axe he just picked up and about to swing it, but he stopped and froze as his forehead was pointed by a gun. Again with no hesitation, she shot his head, blood sprayed to her face. The redness of that blood mingled with her eyes.

The boss just stood watching his men died before him. He, too, was undeniably scared. How she looked at him emotionless snapped him. He was terribly afraid to the point he fled for his life.

Haru looked back, noticed the Mafioso she stabbed tried to stand up. That merciless attempt didn't stop there as she approached him and aimed her gun at his head.

At that moment, Tsuna was losing much blood, his vision blurred. All he could see was his enemy that widened his eyes at someone who he could see was the feet only. Shortly after, he lost to the pain on his head and fainted.

* * *

In a clear day where the blue vast sky was so open to watch, one man with fedora hat watched the sky while smoking. The way he looked at that sky as if almost an addiction for he looked at it in every of his free time, as if it reminded him of a memory.

"Since when you started smoking, kora?" the fedora man turned around, seeing a blonde crossed his arms with his usual smile.

"Never. I just thought it would be nice to smoke for once, now that I have my real body back."

Colonnello chuckled at Reborn's statement. Of course, he agreed with him. Thanks to Verde, all former arcobaleno now had their original body back. He walked towards Reborn and watched the sky with him. "9 years, huh."

"What? You missed Lal?"

Colonnello blushed. "What's that supposed to mean, kora? It's just… we're here in this unknown place for that long. Hey, Reborn. Do you have regrets leaving your student and not being able to see him until our matter is finished?"

"The only regret I have is whether he's become a great boss. But knowing him, he probably is one now, with that Dame side he brings with him."

"So, you didn't tell anyone why you're leaving? That kid probably thinks you left because he spoke his decision to become the tenth."

"He can think whatever he wants. His opinion doesn't matter. We're here based on Yuni's prediction about the dusk flame and whoever it is that bears the flame. She wants us to prevent that dark future to happen; it's as simple as that. For that, we have to live here, in this island where no human can touch or set foot on. We're not allowed to make contact with anyone. So, I have no reason to even care about anyone's thought about my disappearance."

"You two," the two looked around to see Mammon. "Verde calls."

With that, Colonnello, Reborn, and Mammon went to the monitor room. Verde himself was already there, sitting on his 'throne'. Fong and Skull were also seen.

"What's that red beeping?" Colonnello asked. "An activity has been sensed." Verde replied.

"That flame?" Reborn questioned and Verde nodded.

"I don't want to confront another person who _actually_ doesn't have the flame. Are you even sure this time?" Skull crossed his arms.

"It can't be helped. I can only search a potential owner or place based on recent odd flame activities and his or her potential to have the flame."

"Stop whining, kora. If you don't want to go, stay here, _again_."

"Fine! I'll go."

"This time, you'll be going here." Verde showed them a map. Everyone couldn't help but to be surprised at what they saw, especially Reborn who felt very familiar of the place. "Hey, are you sure it's there? But that's…" Colonnello doubted. Everyone looked at Reborn. His expression wasn't seen, it was shadowed by his fedora hat.

"Who is it?" Fong asked.

"There's no specific information regarding that, but it's there, at Namimori Mountain."

* * *

Tsuna opened his eyes, though he was confused as he saw the ceiling of a room at the underground HQ and Lambo and Chrome. He lifted his body upright and held his head. Sensing something odd, he jabbed the wound with his finger and he flinched; it was a surprise as he no longer felt the pain. Normally, that wasn't supposed to happen.

"Are you okay, boss?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm okay."

"Everyone's waiting for you at the command room, Vongola."

"Everyone?"

Both Lambo and Chrome gave hesitant look at each other briefly before giving him a nod. Thus, Tsuna followed them to the command room, where every one of his guardians assembled, including Hibari who leaned against the wall, standing a bit far from everybody.

"How's the wound, Sawada?" Ryohei asked. Just as Tsuna was going to speak, Yamamoto interrupted, "He means you can't feel anything, can you?"

Tsuna was at loss of words, more so when his guardians had their eyes on him. Seeing that stare, he knew something had reached them. "Haru confessed, Tsuna. To be sure, Irie ran a test for her." Yamamoto said. "Not to mention her ring." Gokudera added.

"What do you mean? Where's she?"

"There's no doubt she has the dusk flame. The rock responded to her and became a Vongola ring." Shoichi stated.

"Oi, Irie. That doesn't mean she can be a guardian." Gokudera narrowed his eyes at him.

"Where is Haru?" Tsuna asked again, only this time more stern.

"She's still unconscious in the infirmary, boss. Don't worry."

Contradict to Chrome's belief, the girl they spoke of was standing behind the wall, hearing every bit of their conversation with shadow that casted over her face.

…

_Her eyes regained its true color. Two dead bodies were near her. There was no memory of what happened to the two men, but all she cared about was Tsuna. She immediately put the gun back to the leg holster, the weapon she dropped disappeared into black misty flame, and she scurried to him._

_He was losing his conscious, his pulse was weakening. At that time, all she thought about was his safety. She didn't care if she had to suffer his pain again, she absorbed his pain to save him, and she would keep doing it as much as she had to in order to keep him safe._

_After that absorption, she could feel the pain in her head. She didn't lose any blood, but that pain was enough for her to collapse, in addition of her awakening that caused her energy to drain significantly._

…

"In any case, what should we do? Now that we know she's the bearer." Yamamoto asked.

"We can't forget the fact that dusk flame is the entire mafia organization's target. We have to protect her." Ryohei answered.

"The dusk flame is an unstable and wild flame if it's not used properly. Unless we put her to deep slumber, we have to think the worst scenario if her flame is never used." Shoichi explained.

"But that woman can't fight!" Gokudera disputed.

"There's a reason why the rock turned into a sword and a Vongola ring. But to make Haru-chan as a guardian…"

"We can't ask Haru-san to join the mafia. She doesn't know how to fight." Lambo said.

"Then who incapacitated those two Mafioso? She put up an extreme fight, I say."

"They were killed. Haru-chan would never do that."

"Putting that aside, the attribute of the dusk flame is 'consuming'. It's true she might be useful in battle…" Yamamoto said as he crossed his arms.

"With training, she will be a good force to the Vongola. She could protect herself in case anything happens. The baby said it she has a resolve of a true Mafioso."

Everyone was silenced by Hibari's statement. They all looked down, deep down, they agreed with him. Training her wasn't a problem if it had to be done. Shoichi knew more about the flame and they knew they should listen to him. But only one who was glued to his belief and wish.

"Stop this talk. I won't make Haru as a guardian. I won't let her draw her weapon even for a second. She will stay with us, but as a civilian we must protect, not as a fellow Mafioso." Tsuna stated in authoritative tone.

"But Tsunayoshi-kun…"

"No matter what you say, I won't let her become a Mafioso."

"If Reborn-san was here…"

"He's not here!" Tsuna stated loudly, interrupted Gokudera. "We don't need someone who's gone! We don't need a teacher who selfishly left his student without goodbye, and leaving him to face the dark mafia world alone! Haru is never a part of Vongola, and she—"

"Haru-chan!"

Tsuna froze, hearing that name from Chrome. As he turned around slowly, what he first saw was Haru's hurtful face. He didn't know what to say. He was afraid of another misunderstanding that led to a tragic disappearance of Haru. "H… Haru… I…"

"I know," she said. "I know I have no connection with the mafia unlike Kyoko-chan, I know I can leave all of you and live a normal life, but that's not what I want…"

"What are you…?"

"Please look into my eyes, Tsuna-san! I want to be a part of your family! I want to be a mafia!"

"You are my family, but you're not a mafia!"

"That's not good enough!" she shouted. "I can learn how to fight by myself. I'll do anything you say if that will make me to be your guardian."

"Are you… serious?"

Haru looked at him intently with furrowed brows. He realized nothing could sway her mind to become a Mafioso. However if she were one, she would be exposed to danger more and that was the least he wanted. His fists were clenched. He had to say it no matter how hard it was. "…I'm sorry, Haru…"

There it was again, that shocked and hurtful look. He rolled his eyes of not wanting to see that look. And the other thing he didn't want to watch was her figure as she was leaving, running like she didn't want to be in that place again. Everyone gave a sympathetic stare at him. Either it was the best decision or not, no one knew. It was like, in every choice, there would be many losses instead of the advantage and Tsuna had to choose the least loss.

* * *

He wanted to meet her at her room, but he was a coward, still the same Dame-Tsuna. He couldn't even knock the door. He just wanted to see if she was okay, he wanted to apologize if he hurt her again. Eventually, he inhaled and exhaled deeply and knocked the door. But there was no answer. He opened it, but the room was dark, indicating she hadn't been inside for—he assumed ever since she ran away from him.

He searched around the base, he set foot at almost all floor of the base from up to bottom, but there was no Haru. He feared she would disappear again. He didn't want to feel the same way again, he didn't want to lose a friend again. Just thinking about it should be able to stiffen him, but adrenalin took control of his body. He couldn't think of anything but her.

He went out to the forest. With a flashlight, he searched through the forest at night. He called her name over and over again, but it was a dead silence. He kept on running and searching for almost half an hour until that nonstop running paid off as he spotted Haru, standing on the edge of a cliff.

To his surprise, he saw she was going to throw something away, the ring. He hurriedly dropped the flashlight, ran to her, and wrapped his arm around her waist and his other hand grabbed her hand, pulling her back to his chest. She looked up to his face, seeing it was Tsuna. "Tsuna…-san?"

"What are you doing, Haru?!"

"If I can't protect you as a guardian, then I don't need this."

"Why are you so persistent?" he let her go and looked at Haru, but she didn't answer and looked away. "You can't throw this away." he held and lifted her hand that had the ring.

"Why?"

"I just don't want you to throw it away. Someone might use it."

"No one can use this ring but me."

He went quiet for a while. "You won't give up, huh?" she nodded. "Even though you can't fight?"

"I'll learn."

Having heard that, he sighed. "Tell you what; I'll leave my decision open until we get an answer from Nero."

"Nero?"

"He's a scientist who knows about your flame. He lives in Italy."

"You're moving there, too, right?"

Tsuna nodded. "Also…" he untied his tie and blindfolded Haru with it. Then, he held her hand while walking back to the base.

"T-Tsuna-san…?"

Tsuna just looked back at Haru. He smiled knowing she was surely confused by his action. He wanted to give her a surprise. He brought her to the party hall and then removed the blindfold.

As her eyes were opened, confetti was thrown above her head, and she was greeted by everyone's smile. "Welcome back, Haru!" all cheered. She looked at the wall with decorations, it said: 'Merry Christmas and welcome back, Haru!'

She also looked at the clock, it was 1 am. She was stunned, captivated by her friends' effort to create a party for her when before, the atmosphere around them was intense. Kyoko immediately hugged her with tears of joy. "I missed you, Haru-chan…"

Haru could feel Kyoko's body was shaking. She knew how much Kyoko cared for her and missed her. But somehow, as much as she wanted to hug her back, she couldn't. "I'm sorry to make you worry…"

Kyoko peeled away and wiped her tears with a smile. "Let's get this party started to the extreme!" Ryohei shouted.

Cheeriness, merriness, smiles, laughter, she surely missed to see them. The urge to be with them as friends came back to her. It was like a dream she could be with them again. Seeing how she was circled by them, she realized she didn't see her as a killer. She wasn't as easygoing and cheerful as before, but she was still able to maintain her usual smile—even if no one knew some of her smiles were forced.

Of course when Yamamoto circled his arm around her neck in friendly manner and told her everything about their lives, which annoyed Gokudera, she laughed. But only one who noticed the falsity in that smile, he who was bestowed with hyper intuition.

At one point where she sat alone, seeing how stormy and excited her friends were, she made up her mind. She was the Void, a being who fed on lives. She didn't want to hurt her friends. Her promise to Reborn and her resolve to protect them were her passion and strength. Her lips curved up, an ironic smile, thinking she would live with them again to protect Tsuna, but she, too, could hurt them by staying. The only way to keep all of them safe was to keep them safe from her. And the only way to do that… was to build no connection with them.

She was an arcobaleno. They couldn't be friends anymore, she was just an outsider who lived on the same roof.

Kyoko and Chrome dragged her to a big cake. They wanted her to cut it, so she did it. The first person she gave was Bianchi. Second her best friend. And then the third, fourth, and fifth were Chrome, Lambo, and I-pin.

Deep down, Tsuna was actually disappointed she didn't give it to him, but he didn't wonder why. He knew he held no special place in her heart. He let his disappointment hidden by maintaining his smile.

After the party was over three hours later, everyone went back to their room. Just when he was going to sleep, a knock on the door cancelled his intention. He was stunned, seeing Haru in front of him holding a plate of cake, particularly the best cut.

She noticed his black pajamas. "I'm sorry to bother you. I'll be going—" Tsuna grabbed her arm before she could turn around. "I'm not sleepy yet. Come in."

Haru nodded and entered his room. She then handed the cake over to him. He held his breath and stiffened with wide-eyed until he smiled and accepted the cake. "Thanks."

He climbed up to his bed with the cake and beckoned Haru to sit in front of him. She hesitated at first, had looked at the door briefly before turning back to him. She couldn't say no, especially when he seemingly had high hopes. Therefore, she also climbed up to his bed. "Can I eat this now?" he asked and she nodded.

She silently watched him eating the cake. For some reason, he looked delighted. "When will you go to Italy?" she asked.

"Eh? December 26th."

"I see."

He was going to continue eating, but his attention to Haru stopped him. "Why are you avoiding us?"

"Eh? What do you mean? I'm not avoiding anyone." she played dumb very smoothly, as if it wasn't a lie.

"You've changed, Haru. Your personality."

"That I know."

"I missed your smile."

"Eh?"

"You always had this unique bright you radiated through your cheeriness and smiles. You were always so cheery and outgoing. And your 'hahi' makes you… you. So, when I see you now, I know you changed. I don't know what happened when you were gone, but you're not alone now. I'm here for you, and… I'm sorry I hurt you all this time. I never realized I've been hurting you for years."

"The past is the past, Tsuna-san. Besides, it's not your fault. I was the one who hurt Kyoko-chan."

"It was an accident."

"It doesn't change the fact I hurt your feelings." she replied. "Tsuna-san, do you still love Kyoko-chan?" he was dumbfounded by her question, but he nodded hesitantly. Seeing his answer, she smiled. "Good. I just hope… when you two get married, I hope Kyoko-chan will pick me as her bridesmaid."

She stood up and walked away from him. "Wait." he grabbed her hand. But it was all out of reflex. He flinched as he noticed his action. Why did he stop her? Why did he act below his conscious? He wasn't sure, but as he tightened his grip, seeing his face that told her she shouldn't leave, he realized he didn't want her to leave just yet.

His next movement was much unexpected—for both of them. He pulled her to his chest, circling his arms around her waist from her back. He leaned his face to her neck, his nose that was rested on her nape made her shivered. Either he realized what he was doing—or he couldn't control himself and surrender to his body.

The smell of her scent, that strawberry scent, his favorite smell was just too endearing to be neglected. Even when Kyoko had that scent, it was never as craving as Haru. Arms tightened the hug, pressing her body closer to him; the feeling of embracing her small figure was also intoxicating and satisfying. Haru was confused and flushed at what he was doing to her.

As much as she wanted to move, her body froze, she couldn't breathe. The way he hugged her was just so caring yet possessive. He never did this before to her. He loved Kyoko, for God's sake!

"Hey, Haru," he whispered to her ear, she shivered again as his lips touched her earlobe. "You're a bad liar."

Haru flinched at his statement. "I won't let you leave until you confess your lies. You're avoiding us, aren't you?"

"L-Let me go…"

"Why would I? Like how you're different from the girl I knew 10 years ago, I'm not the boy you used to know 10 years ago. My parent's death, mafia world… it changed me, too. Sure I'm still the same Sawada Tsunayoshi, but I'm a man now. I'm not a boy forever, you know."

"Please… l-let me go…"

"Why are you avoiding us, Haru? Why are you avoiding me?"

"Let me go, Sawada Tsunayoshi!" his brown eyes bulged at the way she addressed him. With shock, he loosened his grip, creating a gap for her to escape him and left the room. It appeared he was going too far, and he just realized it. It was supposed to be a hand grip and asking out the question, but he went out of the limit when he pulled her to a hug, a possessive hug at that.

What did he just do?

Why was it every time he wanted to fix things with her, it never worked out the way he wanted?

It was somehow very hurtful to know that Haru was mainly avoiding him. He couldn't blame him for running away from him like that. Facing the dark mafia organization alone without Reborn, all of that conflict that had been sent to his hometown, his parent's death that caused by the dark world he lived in, his new life had changed his perspective. He was slowly becoming a true mafia boss, he knew. It wasn't something he could avoid or run from, rather a possibility he had to accept.

She ran towards her room, but didn't go in. Instead, she leaned against the door and slithered down. She let out the pacifier from her pocket and gazed at it with glassy eyes.

She decided to let her feelings go, she decided not to love him again, she couldn't recreate her bond with them. Her heart throbbed in what was supposed to be warmth of love, now, it was painful. She was going to leave her feelings in the past, but knowing his concern for her, she started to fall in love with him all over again, and it hurt so much to the extent she wanted to cry, but she had to be strong.

They were no longer friends, but they weren't strangers. She couldn't be their friends anymore, even if they were her only friends. Protecting him while feeling the heartache every time he worried for her, or every time he drew closer to her was something new. Every time she saw him and heard his voice, her heart was gnawed with the incapability to not loving him, but even so, that feeling never died. It couldn't die.

_Even until now… why do I still love you?_

She could hold onto her tears, but not her feelings for him. She couldn't love him, knowing she shouldn't. She had sacrificed her cheerfulness, happiness, innocence, mortality, and her bond, all that described her as Miura Haru and a human. She wouldn't let it go to waste. With her resolved mind to bear that ache, she stood up and opened the door.

And much to her surprise, someone was inside sitting on her bed; Hibari.

* * *

The honey-colored hair girl entered her loved one's room, where she found him didn't sleep, but seemingly pondering while sitting on the bed.

"What's wrong?" she sat beside him.

"She's changed, Kyoko-chan."

"Eh? What do you mean? And don't call me that, Tsu-kun. Just Kyoko is enough."

"We're not together anymore," his remark clicked something in her heart, and it was painful. Her head was full of those words and her ears didn't function properly, so everything surrounded her, even Tsuna himself wasn't heard by her. "And why can't you see the difference in Haru? She's avoiding us."

"…I can't call you 'Tsu-kun' anymore?"

"Huh? No, you can call me that, if you want."

"Okay… so, what did you say about Haru-chan?"

"What? I said she's changed and she's avoiding us. I don't know what's in her head, but this isn't acceptable. She's our friend, and whatever it is she went through, we shouldn't let her avoid us and act like we're strangers to her."

"Don't you mean you, Tsu-kun?"

"Huh?"

"None of us feel that way. To me, she's still the same Haru-chan. You're alone in that perspective. Everyone changed when they grow, even you're not the Tsu-kun I met 10 years ago. You've grown mature, but you're still you. I'm sure Haru-chan changed, but she's still her. Maybe calmer." Tsuna stammered at her words. He froze and stared at Kyoko with disbelief face. "Is it possible that you… love her?" she asked.

"What's with the question?" he raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't deny."

"N-No, of course not. I don't love her."

"I'm glad," tears started forming in her eyes and she wiped it with a hurtful smile. "I also heard you'll be moving to Italy and I can't come with you, but Haru-chan can. Good luck on your work, Tsu-kun. Sleep tight." she stood up and walked out of the room.

He couldn't stop her from leaving. He stared at the door. Sooner or later, he would hurt her, he knew. It was one of the consequences of being a mafia boss. He shouldn't let his feelings play the part and ruined everything. If Kyoko came, she would be in danger, and he certainly didn't want that to happen. He wouldn't risk her again.

He didn't except her to accept his departure. He would entrust her to the best Mafioso he had in Italy, he shouldn't be worrying about Kyoko, because now, he had another thing that worth more of his time and concern, and it was all related to Haru.

**[HUMANITY PERCENTAGE]**

**90%**

**l**

**88%**

* * *

**I'll be putting the 'humanity percentage' thing in every chapter to keep monitoring Haru's humanity.**


	9. Baby aid

**A/N: I updated this chapter again, since this chapter couldn't be opened before.**

**I got a review from rei2nadia, asking about the percentage in the previous chapter. In case if anyone else doesn't know, here's why: being the Void, she's bound to lose her humanity sooner or later. It doesn't have to be a fight that decreases it. Even just by doing nothing, she'll still lose her entire humanity. Kawahira said, "The nature of that flame is beyond anyone can comprehend, even the creator itself", that means he may not know her humanity will disappear sooner than he thought. Moreover, every time Haru feels overwhelming sadness, guilt, or any negative emotions that hurt her, it can also be the trigger to the decrease of her humanity, but not as much as when she fights. Basically, she's like a time bomb that never stops ticking.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights belong to its rightful and respectful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER IX**_

* * *

_Brown eyes widened at the figure who casually sat on her bed like it was also his room. She was speechless, no words coming out as much as she wanted to. Hibari stood up, cupped her cheek to lift her face, and looked at her. "No difference," he said. "But you are, without a doubt. I can sense it from you."_

"_W-What are you… talking about?"_

"_You let go of your human side and become an arcobaleno." Haru peeled away from him as she heard that. "How did you know…?"_

"_That voice guided me to you, to the place that was never known, situated in Namimori. He showed me the memory of you accepting the road of arcobaleno. In return for showing me that place, I protected the cave, and now, you."_

"_Hibari-san… I know you'd protect the cave, but why me? Did the voice tell you to?"_

"_It's none other than a debt I have to pay."_

"_I don't need protection."_

"_You do, though I won't be with you all the time. But through the agreement I made, I'll make sure to get the job done. But I'm curious; how does it feel to be nonhuman?"_

_Haru was quiet for a moment. She lowered her head and firmly gripped her chest with her downcast eyes. "I'm not sure. It's kind of… in between, human or not, and I feel… empty. I can feel it through my body I'm no longer human I used to be. But…" she paused briefly. "Just the sight of him, just seeing his smile is enough to fill that emptiness inside. Being with Tsuna-san makes me feel I'm still human. I didn't regret my choice, not today, not ever."_

_There was no respond. He just stared at her intently with mind that thought of something only he knew. Afterwards, his lips curved up to a smile and he patted her head, much to her surprise, because it was gentle, unlike the usual Hibari, and as if meant to cheer her up and comfort her. "I'm an amusing toy for you, aren't I?" she asked with a forced smile, but he never responded. This man really is mysterious, she thought._

_He was going to leave, but she called him. "Hibari-san," he stopped. "You shouldn't have let Tsuna-san see me."_

_But he seemed confused when he turned around a bit. She began to know Hibari didn't know the crucial part. "N-Never mind. Just please… don't let anyone know about this."_

_Instead of giving her a solid answer, he smiled and left._

* * *

She didn't feel worry about Hibari. She knew and trusted he could keep her secret, but she wondered why Hibari seemed insisted in protecting her. Under that calm raining snow, the steam of breath that came out of her mouth, she was taking a walk around the residence area. It was 5 am; her _friends _hadn't woken up yet. She once had the chance to walk to the shopping district, although none were open. She didn't go there, just stood by and looked at the place, remembering when she and Kyoko used to shop together. It had been a fun and enjoyable moments.

She smiled at that memory. She visualized the crowd and the two girls who had fun with each other, buying clothes and eating cakes, the brunette girl who had this silly smile on her face as she was eating and her friend who had the brightest and sweetest smile.

But as the image disappeared, so was her smile. She couldn't do all of that anymore. But she accepted it gladly, she let go of those memories wholeheartedly. As she walked away from that spot, she was also leaving her past life and began the new solitude life.

As she walked pass Tsuna's house, she saw a basket on the front door. She wouldn't expect what she found.

* * *

It was 6 sharp. Tsuna walked heading to the kitchen while scratching his head and yawning. He had been thinking too much last night that he forgot to sleep. Arrived at the kitchen, he spotted Haru, washing the dishes from the party.

"Can I help you?" he offered as he approached her. She turned around a bit. "Ah, good morning, Tsuna-san. I'm almost finished, thank you for the offer. Would you like a breakfast now?"

"All right." he sat on a chair and she continued washing. The atmosphere was dominated with a silence, even though the sound of running water from the tap and plates made the small noise. He wanted to apologize for what he did that night.

"Haru/Tsuna-san." both flinched and looked at each other as their names were called in unison. "You first." Tsuna said.

She hesitated, he could tell. After finished, she turned off the kitchen faucet and faced him. "There's something I want to show you."

All of the sudden, he felt a sudden nervousness as he followed her. To his confusion, it was her own room, but it was more questionable as she let him to enter first. The thing she wanted to show him was inside, he readied his mental state to accept any possible thing inside, but the force he put on certainly wasn't made for a baby!

He looked at the fragile creature with dumbfounded look; a 2 months old baby was sleeping on her bed. He approached the bed with eyes that froze on the baby. She had an auburn hair and dark brown eyes. She had beautiful eyes, somehow looked familiar. Tsuna was mesmerized by the baby's look, like he was seeing a miracle. He gently held her small hand. Strangely, he felt happy.

"She was crying," Haru interrupted his amazement towards the baby. "I found her at your house. I can't believe a parent would throw away a cute and vulnerable baby in the snow. When I picked her up, she stopped crying. I couldn't leave her there, so I…"

"You didn't do anything wrong. I would do the same." he smiled reassuringly, but that didn't mean she smiled back. In fact, she said, "Please don't tell this to anyone."

"Why? And what are you planning now that you have this baby, Haru?"

"It's just that… I don't want to trouble anyone. I'm not sure yet. I was planning to find her mother, but I simply can't carry her all the time. She'll be crying if I'm not around."

"Then, I'll help you."

"Eh?" she blinked. "I'll take care of her when you're away."

"Y-You don't have to do that. I'll think of something."

Then, the baby woke up. When she saw Tsuna, for unknown reason, she smiled and laughed. Tsuna couldn't help it, he couldn't ignore the adorableness. He picked her up and cradled her like he was carrying his own daughter. The baby, too, seemed to enjoy Tsuna's touch, and very familiar at that. Both seemed very intact to one another and the baby, from Haru's perspective seemed to love Tsuna's presence.

She remembered when she took the baby from his house, an old couple approached the baby, and she was crying even more loudly until Haru had to carry her instead. And she wasn't crying when Tsuna held him.

"Looks like you have no choice." he grinned.

This was what she afraid of. This could strengthen their bond. But she couldn't be thinking of herself right now. She had a baby to save. She wasn't sure why, but seeing Tsuna carrying the baby, seeing their smiles somehow set her at peace. She might not realize it, but she smiled at that view. It was very lovable and warm.

"Did you feed her?" his question snapped her. "Eh? Oh, y-yes, I have. The basket comes together with baby supplies including feeding bottle."

"Huh? Isn't that weird? What parent who threw their baby away, and put the basket with the supplies?"

"I didn't think too much of it. But it doesn't look like throwing away a baby. It's more like entrusting her to… you, Tsuna-san."

"Really?"

"I mean, think about it. Everyone knows about your parent's death, your neighbor or any who lives there should know, especially the part you live alone in that house. When I arrived there, the house was dark, even an outsider knows that house is unoccupied now. Any parent who wants to throw away their baby normally chooses an occupied house, unless they want to leave and kill the baby over the cold weather. But there are baby supplies…"

She's thinking too much, he thought. With the baby he carried, he walked to Haru, gently rubbing her head. It happened again, every time she felt his kindness and care for her. Pink shade tinted her face, she blushed. The feeling of falling in love with him all over again was there, stiffening her body as though she wanted to stay that way.

Then, without a word, he grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the room. She didn't bother to ask. With the same pink cheeks, she kept staring at him. Being with him and having that feeling made her felt she was still human. Those feelings when she had when she was human, the feelings that she could no longer have as the Void, it was all there, every time she was with him.

Surely, she would be approached by his presence, now that he carried the resolve to be closer to her to give comfort every day, every minute, and every second. The only reason why he acted so close to her now was to let her know he was her friend, she had someone who cared for her and be by her side, because it had become his incapability 10 years ago.

Normally she would pull her hand away and stay away from him, but for this one baby, she would make an exception. She was puzzled as they arrived at the men's bath. Since everyone was still sleeping, he was thinking of bathing the little one.

After rolling up his sleeves, he sat at a small chair and grabbed the shower. Haru was awestruck, seeing how he softly rubbing her hair and small body. "You seem very… experienced, Tsuna-san." she sat on the nearest chair. Having heard that, he chuckled. "I'm not. But when I touch this baby, it's flowing so naturally."

"Maybe it's because you're 24 now. Maybe deep down, you want your own baby."

"Maybe. Hey, what do you want to call her? We can't keep calling her 'baby'. She needs a temporary name."

"Nana." her suggestion surprised him as it was seen on his face as he widened his eyes at her. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"Then, Nana it is." he said with a smile.

"Is it okay? It's…"

"It's completely okay for me. If I had a daughter, I would still name it by my mother's name even if you didn't suggest it. And if I had a son, I would name him 'Iemitsu'."

Unaware by her own, she burst in small giggle. Seeing her smile again, to see that recovery made him smiled, and felt delighted and glad. Then, he turned 'Nana' around to face Haru and said, "Look, mommy is smiling."

"T-Tsuna-san?" her smile instantly curved down and changed into a blush. "W-Why me?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? Although you're not the real mother."

"Then, if I'm the temporary _mother_, who's the father?"

"Me." it took him a split second to realize what he just said. As the result, his face was as red as tomato. "I-I-I mean, I also take part in this, so I also take the father role… right?"

Haru just gave a slight nod with eyes that looked away from him, not just her, but he also averted his face away. And when he glanced at her, seeing her downcast eyes and bashful face, his face regained its true color and gazed at her intently and thoughtfully. "Hey, Haru," he called. "Do you remember when you used to say how you wanted to become a mafia boss's wife?"

The redness on her face also disappeared, but she was still downcast and her eyes were still on the wet tile. She responded through her eyes, and not through words. "Do you still have that dream?" he asked.

Why did he somehow always find her weak spot? Why did he keep attacking her with those questions, actions, and sentences? It wasn't his fault, she knew. Even so, it felt so painful and nice at the same time. It was a sin, a terrible and unforgivable sin to feel that goodness, because if she felt that niceness again, the urge to be back to her previous life would grow bigger.

She was straightforward. She shook her head for his answer. Her head was still facing the floor, didn't dare to look at his face. He might be staring at her in surprise. At the moment, she didn't want to be seen stared. Tsuna was indeed stared at her with wide-eyed, but it wasn't because of her answer, because at this moment, she looked tense, stiff, and somehow saddening.

He reached out his hand to her, attempting to lift her cheek and caress her, but it suddenly stopped few inches. He hesitated, but why? He couldn't see her eyes, but her clenched hands that were rested on her lap were trembling. He suddenly realized, he just brought out a topic he shouldn't have. With that in mind, he slowly retracted his hand back to holding Nana.

"Haru, look at me," he called as shadow covered partial of his face. She lifted her head up, and saw his tender smile that tinged with pink shade. "Everyone will wake up soon. Let's go make breakfast for them."

~#~

"It was here," the former arcobaleno, Fon put his hand against the tunnel wall that was stocked with several dead bodies. "There's a faint presence left by the dark aura of that flame."

"Then, whoever owns that troublesome flame must be killing these Mafioso." Skull concluded. "What do you think, Reborn?" he looked at the fedora man, but seemingly Reborn didn't hear him. "Oi, Reborn!" Skull called again, but he was just standing still while lowering his head, looking at the dried blood splattered on the ground. None of them knew it was Tsuna's blood, neither did Reborn.

"Reborn? What is it?" Fon approached him, but Reborn still didn't give a respond. His focus and his eyes were locked on the dried blood, Fon knew what that soft stare indicated, but he couldn't say anything. Reborn's soul right now was as if in a realm of thought—willingly trapped himself in his own state of mind.

* * *

Haru sighed. She had been searching for Nana's mother for almost entire day, but she found no clue whatsoever. The day went on very quickly as she had been out. The sky had become dark and the stars were visible. She lay down while facing Nana who lay down beside her, on the corner of the bed. As a baby, she had to sleep near the wall so she wouldn't fall from the bed.

She only had less than a day before her departure to Italy. She was even planning to continue the search early morning. But a sound of door opening cracked that thought—added her calm that was cracked by Tsuna's half-naked body.

His body was very well built. His abs was just perfect, a flawless six-pack. Not to mention he wasn't too muscular, so his body proportion was very much the ideal body of any woman's dream, more than enough to make them squeal in joy—perhaps to the extent of them passing out. The last time she saw his body was 10 years ago, and it wasn't what people might call 'nicely-built'. He was rather skinny back then.

Compared to his current body, the 10 years difference was very much seen. Plus, the water that wet his body, the steam of hot water that was coming out of his body, his wet and fallen hair, the white towel that circling around his neck, and the black wristwatch and pants he was wearing; her face became red.

"Y-You can't just walk in a girl's room half-naked! Please put your clothes on!" she snarled. "Ah, sorry. I came here as soon as I finished my bath and I forgot to bring it." he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment while approaching her. "Hm? What's wrong? Your face is red."

"F-Forget it. Anyway, why are you here?"

"Seeing Nana before I go to sleep. She's still awake, right?" he tilted his head to peek at Nana who was still awake and seemed happy about his presence. Seeing that innocence smile, he smiled back. "Well, it's all I need to see. Good night, Haru." he was going to reach for the door, but all of the sudden, Nana broke into tears and cried loudly.

Haru immediately held her, but she didn't stop crying. Nana usually didn't cry when Tsuna and Haru were with her. But it stopped her crying when she saw Tsuna looked at her in worry. She simply and suddenly stopped and laughed. Haru and Tsuna sighed in relief seeing that. "Glad she's stop crying. I should be heading back now."

But it happened, again. When Tsuna was going to leave, she cried again and Tsuna turned around and approached her immediately, but when he approached Nana, she stopped crying. Haru instantly knew what the problem was. "What's wrong with her? Is she okay?" he asked Haru, but to his confusion, she stiffened. "Tsuna-san, I think she… doesn't want you to leave."

"Eh? But that would mean…" Haru nodded slightly, which made him blushed. "If it's for one night, then… I guess I don't mind. But what about you, Haru?"

"I don't mind… I think. If it's for Nana, I don't mind if you have to sleep with me, Tsuna-san."

"A-All right then…"

That night was full of edginess and tense. With Nana sleeping near the wall, Tsuna lay down on the edge of the bed, and Haru lay between them, they were like a parent already. Haru put her hand on Nana's belly, keeping her close. She didn't face Tsuna, too embarrassed for that. The gap between Haru and Tsuna—zero, considering the bed was a single bed. Their body touched another. Moreover, recalling how he looked like, she didn't want to see that body of his.

Everything he did to her always make her lost her focus. Her focus was blurred at the moments in the bath that morning. She could feel she was breaking apart; she almost lost out of control, a tiny space between her and the limit of her endurance not to cry. But as if life was being cruel to her—forcing her to see glimpse of their conversation at that morning. That dream of becoming mafia boss's wife had been her goal in life, letting her go wasn't just hard, it was terribly insane. She was in the process of forgetting it, until he asked.

She wore a white sleeveless sleeping wear with black border which length almost reached her knee—only approximately ten centimeters shorter. It gave her the reason why she wore high-thigh black socks. It was a sleeping wear she picked up from her mother's old clothes. She couldn't find anything else.

As a man, seeing her wearing that, he couldn't turn around from Haru's back. Her bare skin that seemingly smooth to touch, he felt the urge to touch her, to run his fingers through her skin. More so the back of her neck that looked very open to touch, as if it invited him to be touched. But he shook his head; he remembered he loved Kyoko, not Haru. He loved Kyoko. He loved Kyoko. He loved Kyoko. He loved Kyoko. He loved Kyoko; he kept convincing himself—although he had to admit, he never slept with Kyoko before.

He just wanted not to look at Haru and shift his body to the left and not see her, but he heard a faint sound from his back, from Haru—like a soft and almost silent cry. He turned around to her, only to see her trembling body. "Haru?" he peeked at her face and she glanced at him.

His eyes widened in surprise, seeing her brown and saddening beautiful eyes that shed tears. She immediately looked away, she didn't want him to see her current state, she was scared he might ask questions. Her hand gripped onto the pillow and firmed its grip, but her hand was also trembling along with her body.

She didn't speak a word, but by the looks of it, all those tears that made the pillow wet was the tears she had been locked inside her heart. Just seeing how she wanted to hold onto it, but couldn't already saddened him. He couldn't take it anymore. He had enough. His arms started circling around her waist, pulling her closer to him. His lips that touched her earlobe tickled her. She turned around, their faces were only few inches away. He was so close to her.

His finger wiped away the overflowing tears from her eyes. Her eyes never looked this sad before. It used to be filled with joyfulness and bright. Now, the bright was dimly lit and there was no joyfulness, but deep sorrow. He wanted to ask, but he wasn't too stupid to know it would hurt her more.

Slowly but steadily, he leaned his face closer to her until their lips met each other. Haru didn't put up any resistance, she was in a very fragile state, but that didn't mean she kissed back. He cupped her cheek, his lips ventured to every corner of her lips, gently making her lips wet.

Like a man who was hungry for meat, he devoured her like she was one, but in soft manner. He didn't intend to stop. With his mouth and tongue, he slipped through her mouth and entered his own tongue inside, licking and inspecting every corner of her mouth, dancing his tongue with hers.

She was still trembling, she couldn't resist. Her hands gripped onto his shoulder, which triggered him and acted as a call to make him dig further. He felt and tasted her saliva and so did she feeling his saliva in her mouth. The gentleness of the kiss was almost dangerous because it was also lustful. He wasn't kissing her like mad or aggressive.

They felt their own breath at the tip of their noses, the hot breath steaming out of their mouths. It took her half a minute to kiss him back, and when she did, things started to heat up. Tsuna became more aggressive as for Haru became more submissive. A minute after, he peeled away with only less than five inches from her lips.

None of them talked. He caressed her cheek gingerly like she was a doll that he was afraid he would break. But then, tears started forming on her eyes again. She couldn't control it anymore, neither did he. He turned her body around and pulled her to his chest. "You can cry as much as you want. No matter how long it will take, I'll stay here."

Hearing that kind offer, she burst in tears. She had her limit. The strong barrier she formed shattered just by one person with his sincerity, like a frail mica mineral that even with slightest weight could crack and shatter. He had never seen her this fragile before. He pulled her closer, burying her face into his bare chest. The warmth of his body added by his touch, she welcomed it and reached her hands to his back, hugging him back while making his chest wet with her tears.

There was nothing that disturbed him more than seeing her in this state. He wanted to play his role as a friend, he wanted her to cry under his arms until her tears dried. Tears that didn't stop flowing from her eyes were silent tears that made him wished, if only he could feel what she felt.

But for now, this was all he could do.

**[HUMANITY PERCENTAGE]**

**88%**

**l**

**86%**

* * *

**If you want to know how Tsuna's body looks like, you can see the recent picture of him in zerochan. You'll find the only recent picture of TYL him half-naked with a towel, a fanart. I got the inspiration from that.**


	10. Upcoming return

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights belong to the rightful and respectful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER X**_

* * *

All guardians were peacefully eating breakfast. The atmosphere wasn't too much of a difference than 10 years ago, but they were all adults. They matured—although in some cases, Yamamoto still took Gokudera's share of food, which always annoyed him. I-pin and Lambo were grown up, too, and Lambo wasn't as annoying as he had been.

"Hm?" Lambo tilted his head upwards.

"What's wrong, Lambo?" I-pin asked.

"Is it just me or… I don't know, I keep hearing baby's cry lately." he replied.

"Now that you mention it… yeah, but it could be a mother takes her baby to a walk." Yamamoto said. "Idiot! Is there even a mother who takes her baby into a forest?!" Gokudera snarled. While all of them were living to the lively air, Kyoko was rather downcast, and Ryohei noticed that.

"What's wrong, Kyoko? You're not hungry?" he asked, and then she reacted in surprise. "Eh? N-No, I'm fine. It's just… I was wondering where Tsu-kun and Haru-chan are." her voice turned low and soft.

"Maybe they're still sleeping. When we got here, the dishes were already washed clean again. Tsuna might have helped Haru and then they went to bed." Bianchi answered.

"Maybe…" Kyoko's large eyes were half-opened, but no one noticed the gloom in her eyes. It wasn't that she was afraid Tsuna might love Haru, but now, she felt as if she became unwanted. This day was the day when everyone would be going to Italy, leaving her behind. She didn't want to be left out, but she understood why they wanted her to stay. The only thing she couldn't understand was why Haru could come.

Meanwhile, Tsuna was at Haru's room, never left from there—or he couldn't, not when everyone was around. He had to wait until they went back to their own houses to get ready for the departure, and of course, until Haru got back from searching clues. He tried to stay positive, but he remembered he forgot to feed Nana. And at any time soon, she would cry. Every time he looked at Nana, it was as if he looked at Haru.

Every time he looked at Haru, she seemed to invisibly look away from him. He didn't know what she had gone through nor did he know her feelings, but he wanted to be a friend he had never been before. This time, he wanted to hear it from herself, why she cried last night. He knew, she was hiding something from him—from everyone. He wanted her to say it out loud, like how she always stated her mind.

But it never happened.

Just by seeing her demeanor, Haru wouldn't tell them even a word and she would keep torturing herself, without having anyone to know. But he knew. Not even Kyoko knew Haru's changes—he flinched. He recalled the last conversation he had with Kyoko. The last thing she said to him—he couldn't remember it well, but that time, her face looked hurt. Why? Did he say something wrong?

He growled in quandary. He wanted to apologize to Kyoko, but if that meant supporting her to stay close to him, then his effort to keep her safe would fail. He couldn't let Kyoko get involved with him, more so if she were to live in Italy, she would be in danger at all times.

And it wasn't just that. After his parent's death, living the life of mafia without Reborn, he had no one to direct him to still being the kind Sawada Tsunayoshi that could never be tainted by the dark world. But slowly, he felt different. He had grown the ability to rule through fear, and he wasn't stupid not to notice that. If it was true, he preferred never to use it. But his body knew, and made it as a reflex in order to live in a dangerous mafia world.

"Haru-chan?" he snapped. Kyoko's voice was heard from the door, and unfortunately, he forgot to lock the door. If Kyoko opened that door, he didn't know what explanation he should give. "Haru-chan, are you there?" he couldn't answer. He just stayed silent while waiting for her to give up. "Well, everyone's going to leave soon to get ready. If you need a help, I'm willing to help you find new clothes."

Seconds passed. While Kyoko was waiting for an answer, Tsuna was waiting for her to leave in tension. "…Okay then. I'll be at the usual cake café with Bianchi-san. Just come to us if you change your mind." steadily after Kyoko said that, her footsteps gradually disappeared and he sighed in relief.

Minutes after Kyoko had left, the base was a dead silence. Now, he was sure he could go out and fetch the bottle in the kitchen. He left the baby in the room with unlocked door. As he was heading to the kitchen, he hoped that no one saw the bottle that was obviously put in the shelf.

"By the way, shouldn't we call Tsuna first?" Yamamoto asked as he was leaning against the table. Gokudera sat while crossing his arms. "He wasn't in his room. I wonder where Juudaime is."

"Chrome's on her way to Haru's room to ask her. Why don't we prepare our belongings first and then we can go find Tsuna?"

"Tch. Fine." he stood up and Yamamoto walked to the hallway. "Wait, I forgot my cup. It's in the shelf." Gokudera headed to the shelf, opened it, and took his cup, and just as he was about to close it, he cancelled his action as he spotted a baby bottle. He picked it up, and showed it to Yamamoto. "What's this doing here?"

Yamamoto shrugged. As if on cue, they heard a baby's cry coming towards them. They looked at each other in confusion, and then stared at the hallway like there was no tomorrow, just in frozen state with eyes locked on one view. However, despite they were ready for the surprise, they widened their eyes, seeing Chrome was holding a baby with an expression like them. "We should call everyone here." Chrome said.

Still in anxious, Tsuna was walking to the kitchen. He was glad that he saw no one on the way, but he was worried the bottle might not be there anymore. As he saw the kitchen archway, he wanted to sigh in relief, but that didn't happen when he saw his guardians were giving off stare directly to him, and when Chrome was holding the baby he and Haru nurtured, crying.

* * *

Although Kyoko was served with her favorite cake, she hadn't touched it. She only stared at the cake blankly. "Ne, Bianchi-san," she called. "Why is Haru-chan allowed to leave Namimori while I can't?"

Bianchi blinked in confusion, a faint 'eh?' escaped her mouth. "I thought you knew."

Kyoko shook her head. "Is there anything you're keeping from me?"

"No, but maybe… you weren't there, were you?"

"Eh?"

"Haru's life is in danger," Kyoko widened her eyes as she heard that. "She possesses a very powerful flame named dusk flame. It's a new flame and the mafia organization has their eyes on the flame. Once they know Haru has it, they'll do anything to get it out from her. They could hurt her or use her."

Having heard that, Kyoko looked at her clenched fists that were rested on her lap, and she was still downcast. "I didn't know Haru-chan has it… and here I am, selfishly thinking the reason Haru-chan could go was because Tsu-kun secretly loves her."

"It's alright, Kyoko. None of us knew at first. We assumed something happened during her disappearance. But Tsuna has a different thought than the rest of us."

"Eh? How so?"

"It's true he also assumed it happened in her disappearance, but he… he's more afraid that it happened to her when she was still with us, and the fact that he didn't know… he feels at fault." _Especially when the last time he hurt her_, Bianchi said inwardly, keeping that truth away from Kyoko.

"I see… so that's why he's so worried about her."

"No one knows well how he feels about all of this, Kyoko. We can't interfere as well."

"…Okay. You're wiser than me, Bianchi-san. Ah, by the way, about Haru-cha—"

"Is that Haru?" Kyoko immediately looked at where Bianchi looked at. Haru was seemingly asking around the people there. "Haru!" Bianchi called and Haru started looking around where the sound was. "Here!" she finally turned her head to the cake café and saw Bianchi and Kyoko. In truth, Haru didn't want to confront them, but those two were her closest people, so she had to act as natural as she could.

She approached them, but didn't sit. "Why didn't you eat breakfast with us?" Bianchi asked. "Sorry. I woke up early, and when I saw the dirty dishes, I just had to wash it." she gave off an embarrassed smile, but none knew it was a fake. "And Tsu-kun?" Kyoko asked. "Well, he woke up early, too, so he helped me and we decided to eat breakfast earlier." Haru answered.

"You must be really happy to share breakfast with the man you love alone." Haru reacted at Kyoko's remark. There was no grudge or hatred, but rather faint jealousy.

"I don't love him anymore."

Kyoko and Bianchi widened their eyes simultaneously. They couldn't believe what they just heard. Haru was known for her tenacity, more so if it concerned Tsuna. They knew she loved him for years and never faltered from it. To think they would actually hear it from her, it was inconceivable.

"You're joking… right?" Bianchi asked in disbelief, but just seeing Haru's downcast eyes, they knew she wasn't kidding. "But why?" she asked again.

"I just… came to realize I'm chasing something I can't catch. Loving him it's like… chasing the wind, and you can't chase the wind. But you can catch it, if you go with the flow, then it will come to you. But Tsuna-san never came to me. He came to Kyoko-chan. My love for Tsuna-san is just a crazy and stupid love. Besides—"

"You're lying," Kyoko's words made her flinched. "That's not the reason why you stop loving him. What is it, Haru-chan? Please tell us."

Bianchi noticed the tension between those two best friends, and she decided to leave them alone and left for a while. But Haru ignored Kyoko's plead. "Anyway, as I wanted to say before, Tsuna-san is already happy with Kyoko-chan. As long as he's happy, my feelings don't matter."

"Haru-chan!" Kyoko shouted at her. She never shouted at Haru like that before. Haru widened her eyes in shock. "I'm your best friend, so stop lying to me!"

"You're not my friend anymore." Haru stated her mind sternly yet mildly. Hearing those painful words from her own best friend, it was the first time she felt that stab, and surely, it felt more painful than anything she had felt. Afterwards, Haru got a call from Tsuna, telling her to come back immediately. With that, Haru whirled around before walking away. "As long as I have this flame inside me, you'll never be my friend. No one will. I'm sorry, but this is the end of our friendship."

"Is that why you choose not to love Tsu-kun again?" Haru's steps were halted by Kyoko, but she didn't look at her. "I heard from Bianchi-san, your life is in danger. Are you trying to protect me? Are you afraid you might hurt him if you still love him?"

"Kyoko-chan," Haru voiced. "You always think everything should be as realistic as what you're thinking. You hate fighting and you always dream of a peaceful life. That speculation of yours about me is very ideal… and that also means it can never be true. Besides, who wants to be friends with someone who could take your life?"

"I do!" Kyoko shouted, approached Haru and grabbed her hand. "Even if you have something dangerous inside of you, even if being with you means death, I won't stop being your friend!"

Haru flinched. It was something Kyoko would say, she knew. Kyoko was a kind and caring woman, nice to everyone. Haru let out a small chuckle; she finally understood why Tsuna chose Kyoko. She also understood why they should be together. They loved each other, and she had seen the proof. She couldn't tell her she still loved him—although she could say she was trying to let her feelings go, she wouldn't make a mistake. For her, truth would bring mistake that would also bring danger to their lives. She made her decision to live with lies, and she would keep doing that, even if she had to lie to a friend that was always there for her.

She didn't counter Kyoko's remark. If she were, it would be a meaningless and endless debate. Knowing that, she pulled her hand away and left, without having to see Kyoko's tearful eyes.

First, Tsuna, and then Haru; she was always the only one left to be protected. She couldn't take it anymore. For once, she wanted to be something important to them, someone who had more worth to live with them.

* * *

Haru walked fast to the kitchen, wondering what business he had with her. But as she arrived at the kitchen, she was greeted by everyone's stare. She saw Tsuna was feeding Nana and muttered to her, 'I'm sorry' almost soundlessly.

"Boss told us everything. Why didn't you tell us, Haru-chan?"

"Why?" she asked Chrome back. "Why are you so fixated on the reason?"

"Eh? I… this isn't something you can do alone. I mean, you were missing for 9 years. If you told me about it, we could compensate the time we've lost together. We could share the burden together, and with that, we can become closer."

"Why didn't you ask for our help? If it's because of our departure, isn't it much faster if we do it together?" Yamamoto asked.

"No… I just don't want to trouble you, that's all." Tsuna noticed something when she looked at the floor as she said that. Somehow, a memory of her tears that night struck him. His intuition said she lied, and those tears were connected with her lies, he just didn't know what. Moreover, he kept feeling this uneasiness, that there was something behind those tears.

"Do you know a fact about babies?" Gokudera spoke. "Babies have a memory of their mother's touch when they were born. This baby cries when strangers hold her, but she doesn't cry when juudaime and you hold her. You know what this means, right?"

Tsuna and Haru blushed. "We didn't do anything!" they shouted. "Haru just came to us few days ago, there's no way we've done something that could make a baby in short time!" Tsuna spoke in his defense. "And I _found_ her, not gave a birth to her!" Haru stated loudly.

"Ma, ma, calm down, both of you."

"I will calm down, Yamamoto-san, but after I find her mother!"

"But Haru-chan, you need new clothes. Why don't I help you look while we take her shopping?"

Ryohei nodded. "And after we prepare our luggage, we'll help you find her mother. I'll prepare my things extremely fast."

Yamamoto nodded and circled his arms around Gokudera's shoulder casually, which kind of annoyed Gokudera. "Gokudera, you're going to help too, right?"

"What?!"

"Please, Gokudera-kun."

"If juudaime wants me to, then fine."

"Everyone, I really don't need your help."

Despite her refusal, everyone ignored her and immediately went back to their houses. After Tsuna handed the baby to Haru, Chrome pushed her out of the kitchen.

* * *

In the end, they never found the mother. They had to take her together to Italy. They arrived at the airport and Haru sat on one of the seats there, waiting for Lambo from the toilet.

"Excuse me," Haru turned her head to see a woman with orange hair and black glasses. "Did you find this baby at a house? Sawada's house?"

"How did you know?"

"I'm a friend of her father. He's too shy to ask you, so I'm here in his stead."

Haru stared at the woman. She seemed odd, but seeing Nana seemingly knew her and wanted to be held by her, she handed Nana to her. "It's strange. She doesn't cry when you're holding her." Haru stared at Nana who slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep. "You could say I'm her babysitter." she replied.

"Haru," Tsuna called. "Let's go."

Haru nodded and turned around, but the woman was gone from her sight. The woman was a mystery, but for some reason, she smiled, because somehow, she knew Nana was in good hands. The woman approached the brunette man and handed the baby over to him. The man smiled in delight, pink tinged his cheek, expressing the tenderness of his smile.

The woman took of the black glasses from him, thus his brown eyes were seen. As she took it off, he stared at her blankly, which confused her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Oh, I was thinking. We're here in this era without switching place with us of this era. After _that_ happens… I guess the impossible thing became possible. Thank you for doing this, Kyoko-chan. I'm sorry for troubling you."

She shook her head. "I'd be happy to do it for my friends' daughter. Little Nana sure looks like her mother, especially her eyes."

"Yeah…" he murmured as he continued gazing at his baby girl. It was a brief smile until it disappeared. "Is she okay? Is she still Miura Haru?"

She nodded. "She still has her bright, although it's very dim."

"I should be grateful for that… shouldn't I?"

"It's not your fault, Tsuna-kun."

"No, it's my fault. Nana won't get the chance to know her mother… because of me. If only I saved her I time, I wouldn't have to hide from my wife. I hope… this world's me will realize it sooner. That way, Haru will be saved. We will live without having to fear her. The three of us will live happily... but enough about that. Let's go back."

Haru gazed at the jet plane with one hand holding her luggage. Once she took her feet into the cabin, she knew there was no turning back. She would continue her path, without saying goodbye to Kyoko. She recalled the last thing she said to her. The reason why she didn't see her face, she didn't want to see the hurtful look on Kyoko's face. But she had no regret, she wouldn't take a step backwards.

Just as she was lamenting that, she sensed a hand touching her head, it was Hibari. "Hibari-san?"

"Though it's not my problem, you didn't say goodbye to Sasagawa Kyoko, huh?"

She stared at Hibari and fell silent for a while before she looked down. Her look was blank, there was no indication of sorrow, sadness, or even regret, but her eyes indicated her clarification for her undoubted choice, and Hibari saw that. "I have no regrets. This is what I must do. You should know that, Hibari-san."

"I don't know."

"Eh?" she tilted her head upwards.

"I didn't know you would go that far. It seems I underestimated you." with a last pat, he walked to the plane. Every one of them walked into the plane, until all that was left were Tsuna, Haru, Hibari, and Ryohei. Tsuna approached Haru and said, "Nana has found her place, huh."

"Don't worry, she's in good hands."

"Okay… hey, I'm curious, what's up with you and Hibari-san?"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"He seems so… unusual around you. He seems strangely close to you."

"Well, you could say… he's the only one who I feel comfortable with, and the only person who knows me more than anybody else." Tsuna twitched at her smile as she said that. He wasn't sure why, but when she expressed her feelings about Hibari, it was so free as if nothing caged her, different from the usual Haru who refused to be overt and expressed her feelings. He grabbed his chest, why did it feel painful? The way Haru spoke about Hibari as if he was someone special to her, and he felt a stab in his heart.

"Why?" Haru voiced. "That night… why did you kiss me?"

He widened his eyes. He remembered that night, very clearly, but he didn't suspect her to remember it, too, knowing how emotionally unstable she had been. But if he were to answer—when his mouth already created a gap, he held his breath and froze. Why? Why did he? He didn't even know why, or how. Haru noticed the confusion in his face, seemingly troubling him. "It's fine," she said. "You don't have to answer me. Just promise me you won't do that again, okay? And let's pretend that never happened."

He gazed at Haru's face. It seemed soft yet stern. He could tell by her face that she didn't want that to happen again. But there was something in him, something far too deep for him to define, that made him couldn't make the promise.

"Tsu-kun!"

Everyone was gobsmacked, all—even the ones inside the plane looked at Kyoko who came running. All had their eyes on her and Tsuna, seeing his agape mouth and widened eyes locked on her.

"Please take me with you! Teach me how to fight!" they were dumbfounded at Kyoko's remark. Not even Tsuna saw this one coming, and he snapped. "That won't happen!" Ryohei and Tsuna shouted simultaneously. Tsuna's surprised look drastically turned into agitated look. "I will send two strong Mafioso here to protect you. You can't come with us, Kyoko!" Ryohei said.

"This isn't about me being protected! I want to be with you, onii-chan! I want to be strong so I can be something important to you and Tsu-kun! I've had enough of being the damsel in distress!"

"You are important to us, Kyoko! That's why we can't let you live a danger life!"

"That's not good enough! Tsu-kun, please! You can teach me how to fight, right? So—"

"You're just a civilian." Kyoko flinched at Tsuna's cold tone. He whirled around, exposing his back to her. "This is where you belong, and someone as pure as you shouldn't fight for the mafia."

That coldness, that back, that moment when she couldn't see his face, it reminded her of the same action Haru had done. The way the two stated their goodbyes, it was similar—the feeling, the air, everything.

"Everyone, let's go." he grabbed Haru's hand and dragged her into the plane with him, followed by Hibari and agitated Ryohei.

"I love you, Tsu-kun!" he stopped, everyone eyed on him. Everyone knew he still had feelings for Kyoko, he might change his mind and take her with him. But that didn't happen. "I love you, too." he let out his voice in deep and low tone. "But this is the end of our relationship. From now on, we're just acquaintances, and you'll be protected as onii-san's little sister."

Afterwards, he entered the plane with Haru.

Everyone just looked at Kyoko's figure, standing alone while watching the plane left her alone. Although she had Hana, a part of her felt broken. Solitude finally came to her life. All she wanted was to be someone important, but her wish wasn't fulfilled. She walked inside the airport with tearful eyes, not knowing she walked passed Reborn, Fon, and Skull who was looking at the Vongola's plane intently.

"There they go." Skull mumbled.

"There's no mistaken. Verde's radar stated that the flame is inside a human's body." Fon stated as he stared at the plane.

"Everyone," to their surprise, they heard Yuni's voice. "This phone is connected to your earpiece, so I'm calling from my place. Uncle Verde has pinpointed the whereabouts of the flame, right? And it's inside a human's body, isn't it?"

"Did Verde tell you?" Fon asked. "No. I had a vision," they flinched at Yuni's statement. "And my vision and your findings match perfectly. I dreamt of a person, single-handedly devoured group of souls. It was a horrible, inhuman, and sadistic murder… and that person was one of Sawada-san's friends."

"What? Are you sure, Yuni? There's no way they could do it." Skull asked. "None of them is cruel to do that, kora." Colonnello joined the conversation. "But Yuni's vision has never been wrong." Fon said.

"What I saw was the future. But I'm afraid, that's just the beginning of the worst. I myself am not quite sure, I don't want to believe it either, but when that person called my name so familiarly… everyone, please listen. As much as we don't want to believe that, we have to protect the future. That's why, uncle Reborn," Reborn reacted to her call. "I'll give you the privilege to investigate from inside the core. But once you agree to leave the sacred land forever, you'll gain your infant form again. You're free to unlock your artificial pacifier to gain your real form at any time you want."

Fon and Skull stared at Reborn, whose face was covered by the shadow of his fedora hat. Ever since he knew the flame came from Namimori, he never spoke a word. Yuni waited for Reborn's answer, but she knew even if he had the answer, he wouldn't voice it out. She wasn't blind to notice his anxiety as she explained it to him. She knew him very well, that in truth, the thought of investigating from the core bothered him, knowing the goodbye that didn't escape his mouth 9 years ago.

However, despite that, there was nothing anyone could do. "Uncle Reborn, it's time for you to return to Sawada-san."


	11. Consultation

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights belong to its respectful and rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XI**_

* * *

_Brown eyes bulged open. She turned her head around the empty room. All she saw was a big double door, a throne, and long carpet stretched from the door to the throne. As she took a step forward, it felt like stepping onto something odd—rather round. Slowly, she looked down and widened her eyes in horror._

_She took steps backwards, helplessly trembling at the blood and lifeless bodies of her friends. Every one of her friends was on the floor, each covered by their own blood, but as she saw Tsuna, he was the only one that had his dilated pupils at her, as if he was seeing his killer._

_She noticed. She lifted her hands slowly in anxiety. Her white skin complexion was tainted with their blood, her face, her hair, her clothes, all had their blood. She looked aghast, she stilled and her breath stopped._

"_Hello," she looked to her right, where the voice was. It was her, although with red, cold, sharp eyes, and black flame on her forehead. "Nice to meet you, Miura Haru… or my old self. This is the first time we meet face-to-face, isn't it?" she sneered._

"_Who…?"_

_The red-eyed Haru furrowed her brows. "What do you mean by that? I'm you. But don't worry, I'm not going to take action… yet." Haru shivered at her chilling grin. "This is just a wake-up alarm, my old self. From the moment you move with your goal, the red 'truth' will be uncovered right before your eyes. Your real cursed life… begins now."_

…

Her eyes bulged open and her body abruptly lifted up as she panted for air and cold sweat ran through her face. Her heart was thumping loudly and hardly that she could even hear and feel it. Her pallor was awful and her eyes stayed wide, staring out in horror.

"Haru?"

She flinched. She turned her head sideways to see Bianchi's worried expression. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

Haru gulped and nodded before looking at the bed sheet. The paleness still didn't go away. "It's… it's just a bad dream. Bi-Bianchi-san, where are we? What happened to me?"

"You fainted right after we arrived at the airport. You're now safe in Vongola's base."

"I see…"

Seconds after Haru fell silent; the horrible red sight came to haunt her. The wall and ceiling were painted in red blood. She slowly turned to Bianchi, whose uninjured head and body was casted with blood. Her brown eyes widened in horror again.

* * *

He looks weaker than ever, Tsuna thought. Staring at Ninth's pale face, the sick old man who was sleeping on his bed, he started to think whether it was a good idea to visit him. But seeing this Ninth, he knew he would die soon, and for Ninth, he had to return Vongola's true principle back as a vigilante group. He didn't dare to wake him up and walked to the door, but stopped as he heard a mumble.

"Tsunayoshi-kun?"

Tsuna turned around and approached the bed. Ninth was awake now. "You're here, after 9 years of waiting. I'm glad." his smile looked so frail, it saddened Tsuna. He nodded. "Don't worry, Ninth. I'll take care of the Vongola."

"If only your tutor was here… his existence alone would lead you to the way of recreating the family."

He raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"He never came back," his eyes widened. "It's not just him. All former arcobaleno are missing."

As much as Tsuna was surprised—and worried, he maintained his calm. "Those guys are strong. Whatever happens to them is none of our business."

"Tsunayoshi-kun, are you mad at Reborn?" Tsuna twitched. "I don't know what happened between you two, but if you lead with that anger, you can never lead this family as vigilante group."

"I wasn't mad at first, Ninth. This hatred I have is shallow, I know. I used to just sulk, but as time went on, this feeling turned into hatred and anger. Because of him, I had to face every Mafioso that's after my head for 9 years, I was forced to see the cruelty of mafia alone. Since then, every time I think about Reborn, there's nothing in my head but anger."

"Tsunayoshi-kun…"

"But I don't want to live with this hatred. He's the best tutor I had, he made me to be what I am now, my strength to protect my friends came from him, I have friends because of him. Sadly, I still can't let go of this anger," he looked at his watch. "Ah, I'm sorry. I have to go somewhere else. Have a good rest… grandpa."

With a smile, he left. Before he went to Fuuta, he walked towards a room to visit Haru, but as he arrived there, Bianchi was outside the room, and her concern face worried him. He scurried to her. "What's going on here?"

"It's Haru. She suddenly screamed and told me to get out. She said she wanted to be alone, but with the condition she's in now, I can't do anything about it. Can you go in, Tsuna?"

Tsuna nodded and opened the door, where he found Haru on the bed with face buried under her folded legs. He sat on the bed and looked at her intently, evaluating her unknown situation. He rested his hand on her shoulder. "Please leave me alone, Bianchi-san…" her voice was rather shaky.

"It's me."

Recognized that voice, she flinched and then she hesitantly lifted her head upwards. Her eyes began to clear as she no longer saw the blood. "Are you okay? Bianchi said you suddenly screamed." he moved closer to her. Haru was too absorbed in her thought to give a verbal answer. She just nodded in silence.

She might be acting weird lately, but after he saw this, he was convinced. He was sure she was acting strange, something about her seemed not right and abnormal. He couldn't see the essence of spring she had always emitted, either. He feared it was caused by him, moreover after the last time he literally hurt her. But asking her in her current condition wouldn't bring result—or even good result.

"Do you need anything? Maybe a drink?"

She shook her head. He ruffled the back of his hair in confusion. He should retrieve the address from Fuuta, but he felt bad for leaving her in this state. "It's alright," Haru let out her voice in a soft tone. "You need to be somewhere, right? It's best to leave me alone."

"But, you…"

"Excuse me," both looked at the door and saw Fuuta. "Ah, here you are, Tsuna-nii. Here's the address you want." he gave a note to him. "Oh, thanks, Fuuta." he read the address and intently studied the small drawn map. He had studied Italy's geography, so he knew the location. "It's far from here, huh. Okay then. I'll inform the others and prepare the car."

"I'll do it for you—ah, Tsuna-nii. I suggest you not to take many people. Maybe just you and Haru-nee? I heard this scientist isn't too fond with humans."

"Huh? That's… weird. Well, I guess it's just the two of us, then."

* * *

From the moment they left the mansion, Haru had never spoken a word. While Tsuna was driving the jet black expensive car at the cold night, she never averted her stare away from the view of the scenery. At times, he looked at her to know her condition, and he knew she wasn't absorbing the view of the mountain and the grass. It was dark, they were in open field, all that could be seen was the road ahead illuminated by the headlights. Blank—his description for her eyes.

An hour later, they arrived at the only house in the middle of the mountain area. He knocked, but no one answered. Surely, someone was there. A purple roofless sport car was parked beside his car.

"Stop it!"

They stepped aside as the door was abruptly opened. A woman with just her 'welcoming' sleeping wear under the brown coat came out and headed for the sport car. Afterwards, a half-naked man with towel on his shoulder came out, and he looked pissed. Although his hair fell down from water, Tsuna recognized that face.

"I know you're smart and hot, but you can't treat a woman like that!" the woman screamed. "Geez, what's wrong with my ears and eyes? You may be hot and your voice is deep and sexy, but you don't have any manners!" she slammed the car door close and left.

The man sighed. "I'm not the one who broke into someone's house half-naked and asked for se—" he spotted the two and furrowed. "Who are you?"

"Ah, we're—"

"You're not her friend who's actually trying to introduce me to her after she persuaded you to do so, aren't you?" he interrupted Tsuna.

"I'm not interested in you, _professor_," she crossed her arms. "Please listen to what he has to say before interrupting other people. We want to talk about the dusk flame."

Nero's eyes twitched upon hearing the flame. "Why?"

Knowing words couldn't get through this man, she lit her ring, his eyes widened. He whirled around, "Come in."

Not knowing where he was taking them, they were just following him, until they stopped at a door. "This is my office. I've seen your face. Vongola Decimo, am I right? I need to talk to her alone."

Tsuna hesitated and thought for a moment. But as much as he didn't like it, Nero was an expert. If there was something only both of them should know, then he had to respect that. "All right."

"Grazie. Make yourself at home. If you need a drink, feel free to help yourself in the kitchen." Nero and Haru entered the room.

Haru sat on the sofa and looked around. There were bookshelf and piles of organized paper on the desk. "I'm sorry about before," he sat across her while holding a shirt. "Ever since I posted a report about the flame, many women pretended they know about the flame or some pretended they have the flame."

"Umm… don't mind me, but Tsuna-san is the one who wants to talk to you."

"I know," he donned his shirt. "But before we get into that, I want you to tell me your story, about how you became an arcobaleno."

Haru flinched in surprise. It was questionable as to why this man knew, but seeing his expression, she realized he was serious. Therefore, she told him her story. Unaware by her, throughout her story, Nero put up a confused look, and she noticed that, after she finished with it. "Is there something wrong?"

"Actually… may I know your name? I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself. My name is Nero Oscura, Oscura is my family's name. You can call me anything you want."

"I'm Miura Haru. And the same applies to you."

"All right. Haru, are you sure Checkerface chose Vongola Decimo at first, and made you as the secondary choice?" she nodded and he leaned forward. "It's not possible. He's not that careless. Like all arcobaleno, there should be no replacement for the chosen one, especially if it concerned the Void."

"Eh? But…"

"I know all about it, I was Verde's pupil for few months. Checkerface must be lying about Decimo being the vessel. He might have chosen you as the vessel from the start. In this particular case, I'm sure he had his eyes on you for years, and based on his choice, he observed you, and tested you. When you've become a full-fledged vessel, he gave you a last test, your resolve. He might use Decimo as a tool to voice out your resolve."

"Observed me? But…" Haru stilled. She suddenly recalled when she knew an old lady from Kawahira Realtor. She began to understand when it started, and why she had never seen Kawahira before. She also figured out, that he probably disguised as an old lady to observe her.

Nero cleared his throat. "The road of Void arcobaleno is nothing but torture. Illogical sadness, remorse, any kind of negative emotions hit you like tsunami violently crashing against the land. Only one who has a very powerful will could live that life. The Void is the most pitiful creature, and yet the strongest of all. It preys on human and will keep on torturing its vessel until the human loses humanity, but ironically, the Void is you. It's the new you, but considering you just woke up, you still have your humanity that makes your old self stay alive. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded. Nero continued his explanation. "Being the Void, the negative emotions, the unknown sadness will keep torturing your mentality, and there's no stopping, until your humanity vanished. Normal people would rather die than to feel that abuse, much less to endure it forever. I'm saying this not because you're a woman, but this is just a simple explanation of what I learned. Mental pain is much more painful than physical. You're now living a life of torture, but now that you know the detail, do you have any regrets?"

"No," he flinched at her answer. There was no pause, she just straightly replied it. "I believe everything happens for a good reason. My existence as the Void is also the existence of this world. I can't view this matter as though I'm the most to lose, but initially, I decided to take this path, and even if that tortures me, I have no regrets, because if I do, I'll lose my humanity quickly, right?"

"Even though horrible sights will keep haunting you? You've seen the pool of blood, right? One time is enough to make people go insane, but to let that vision hits you forever… it's far worse than death. Knowing that, do you question your choice?"

"No."

Upon hearing her answer, he smiled. "Remarkable," Nero clapped his hands. "Truly what great piece of art you are. You must be like an angel sent by God."

She blushed. "Nero…-san?"

"Ah, forgive me. You're just one unique being. You're special, Haru. You're noble, kind, exquisite, beautiful, and helplessly adorable in your own way. You're an untouched, untainted light, but you're also the divine darkness. If only you were still human, I would fall for you. I ran a test in case you don't believe me."

"Test?"

"I questioned hundreds of human, all with different backgrounds. I asked them about the life of the Void, whether they would accept that burden, and the result… surprising yet predicted in this society of humans. 100% answered 'no'. But you, Miura Haru… with little knowledge of the Void you still accepted the role, and when you now know the detail, even when you know the dark and killing path you've chosen, you never regret anything. You take it as if it's the best thing for everyone. I never met someone like you. Now I know why you're the chosen one."

"Y-You're just being nice. I'm not that special."

"But despite knowing Kawahira lied to you, you don't hate him, right? Because lying or not, you can't blame him, because it was your choice to begin with."

Haru chuckled. "You said that as if you know me well."

"Maybe we did meet somewhere before," he replied with a smile and she just laughed softly. "But you do know you're not allowed to love someone, right?"

The curve on her smile disappeared and she nodded. "I began to understand. As an arcobaleno and Void, maintaining the feeling of love is forbidden. My condition doesn't allow me to love. But in my entire life, I only love one man, and he's the reason why I chose this path. The thing about letting go of this feeling… it hurts. Every time I tried, he drew closer to me... and it became more painful." her smile was a painful smile, Nero started to concern for this girl. "Still, I'll keep on trying. No matter how much it hurts… I…"

Her clenched fists that were rested on her lap got wet with a drop of water from her face. She lifted her face and smiled while wiping the tears. "I'm sorry. It's hard to mingle with these unnatural negative emotions."

Nero stood up, sat beside her, and wiped her tears. "You already force yourself more than you should."

"No… I don't think I'm forcing myself."

"Don't lie. Listen, Haru. You believe everything happened for a better future, you're not afraid to die, you sacrificed your innocence and friendship in exchange of everyone's lives, you lied even if it hurts you, you want to become strong to protect what you hold dear, even though you know it'll only expose you to danger more. You never rely on the Vongola to protect you. You rely on them to make you strong. You don't mingle with the world, you survive for mankind."

"How did you know about me…?"

"I learned how to read people's mind. You've done everything yourself, you work too hard, but still, I'm not in the position to say that. In the end, you have to keep pushing yourself to live as the Void."

She hung her head low. She fell in silence for seconds until that silence disappeared. "But Nero-san, 'survive for mankind' sounds really noble, right? I'm not that noble. Like I said, the reason why I chose this path is Tsuna-san. From the start, I've given away everything I have as Miura Haru and human because I want to protect everything he's protecting. I want to be his undying shield. This is never a part of protecting the world as my own desire. My resolve was created… because of my will to act for him."

Upon hearing her answer, he smiled. "Then, this time he'll act for you. Call him in. Relax, I won't tell anyone about you."

* * *

Not a moment after, Tsuna came in and sat beside her. "Now, what do you need me for, Vongola Decimo?"

Tsuna gave off a solemn stare at Nero who was across him. "Why did she have this flame? Why the rock transformed into a sword and Vongola's ring that never existed before?"

"I have no answer for your first question, but the rock was a part of her, and it responded according to her will. It chose a form of the voice of her heart, her deepest wish, and it seems she wished to become a part of Vongola. In other words, that is the solid proof to her resolve. The sword and the ring, both are semblance of her will to become strong and protect the Vongola—or maybe, you."

"Then, I really do have to take her as my guardian, don't I?"

"I recommend you should. I advise you to protect her by keeping her existence as the flame-user as a secret, do not let anyone outside the family knows, and get a bodyguard for her."

"Bodyguard? Why?"

"She's the target of possibly the entire mafia organization. She needs a 24 hour protection; perhaps one of your guardians could do the job?"

"I can't comply with you on that," Tsuna said. "If possible, I would personally be her bodyguard, but as the boss, I can't. But I can't let anyone take the role, either. Besides, she wants to go an undergo training. Aside that, this 24 hour protection, won't it violates her privacy?"

"Your reason is valid, but also invalid. Even if she trains, she still needs a bodyguard. As a woman and a target, she needs a man to protect her. You have to entrust her to at least your guardian."

"Even so, I…"

"I agree," Haru voiced. "I don't want to trouble anyone, but in this case, I have to comply with you, Nero-san."

"What? Haru—"

"Tsuna-san, the flame I have here isn't a matter of joke. While I'm training, I need someone to keep me safe. This is my decision and it's the only way."

"But I should take the burden instead… after what I've done to you…" his voice trailed off.

"Decimo, no matter whose fault it is there's no denying what's needed. I suggest you to take in my words. I normally despise helping humans, but for this case, I'm willing to associate myself with you."

Puzzled, he glanced at Nero and Haru, whose eyes froze on him. Nero gave off a 'this is crucial' stare while Haru gave off a 'believe in my choice' stare. He exhaled deeply and stood up. "Fine. You got your wish. Come on, Haru, we're going back." he grabbed her hand and headed to the front door.

"Haru," they halted and Haru turned around to Nero. "You'll know, how you and Vongola Decimo are alike."

"Eh?"

Out of the blue, her head thumped in excruciating pain. The sight of pool of blood forcedly pierced her brain, creating horrible view of blood, dark sky shaded with red, people in her sight coated with their own blood, the scent of blood, the intensity, the feeling as if it was real. Her eyes widened in horror. She grasped her head and hung her head low. "No… this again…"

"Haru?" as Tsuna's hand touched her shoulder, Haru instantly shifted sideways to look at him, however that bloody sight never left her alone. "Haru, what's wrong? Your face looks—"

"Stay away!" she shoved him away and ran towards the trees. "Ah, Haru!" Tsuna pursued her.

There was no light in the forest to lead him and he couldn't keep up with her speed, it was dark and he couldn't see a thing.

_**BANG!**_

He was startled by the loud gunshot. He feared the worst. Without any seconds to waste, he ran to where his ears led him. He ran and ran; her safety was the only thing in his mind. He kept hoping it wasn't what he thought, he wished he was wrong. As he reached a road, the street light flashed on the car below. Mafioso that was going to enter the car shot a gun at him, but Tsuna dodged it a bit too late; it hit his right upper arm.

As the car drove away, Tsuna scurried to the road, and at the moment he saw the dripping blood and a gun, his fear turned into reality. He picked up a gun he recognized with his uninjured hand and widened his eyes in horror seeing Haru's gun tainted with her own blood.

* * *

**A/N: I've been thinking... I won't update the humanity percentage if it's unnecessary, but I can assure you at every chapter it decreases by 1%. But that also depends on the situation. The numbers could go up to 2% or more, depending on the events and conditions. Haru's humanity level decreases 1% if there's nothing out of the ordinary, but the number could go up and it depends on her situation (whether she feels a tremendous negative emotions, such as that, etc) or at what level of intensity the condition is to be calculated, also to decide the percentage drop I have to look at how distinctive the conditions are, well, that sort of system, but you don't have to think about that. I'll be doing the counting and thinking.**

** I know doing the math is kind of a problem, but you don't have to. I'll measure the percentage myself, and several chapters after, you'll see another percentage. I'll post it if there's a major drop.**


	12. Cold-blooded hyper mode

**Buona lettura!**

******Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights belong to its respectful and rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XII**_

* * *

He was far anxious than everybody else. He sent almost all members to search for one girl in separate location, throughout Italy. Here he was, somewhere near Vatican with Gokudera—of course, as his right-hand-man, he insisted to come with his boss. The search had begun for hours, and as time passed on, his anxiety escalated.

Gokudera peered at his boss who sat in the parked car from outside, gripping Haru's hand-made doll of herself with his eyes shut tight, praying for her to be alright. When his eyes were half-opened, it gave off the paleness and myriad of worries. This was the first time he had ever been so aware of her safety. This kind of reaction normally occurred when it happened to Kyoko.

For Gokudera, in the depths of his heart, the thought of Tsuna worried about Haru to this extent was uneasy. He had his own judgment about Haru, especially when she had left everyone to worry, destroying Tsuna's life in the process. But he wasn't the immature kid who always hurled out harsh comments anymore. This wasn't something Tsuna had to know.

To break his prayer, his phone rang. He picked it up, hearing Shoichi's voice, and few seconds after, his eyes widened. To Gokudera's surprise, Tsuna slammed the car door open and scurried to the driver's seat.

"J-Juudaime? What's going on?"

"Get in, Gokudera-kun! We've found Haru's location and we're going there!"

The hotel room only had a dim light. With the curtains closed, the two lamps dimly lit around Haru's blood-stained figure. She wasn't tended whatsoever; her hands were cuffed to her back, sitting on a sofa. The bullet had hit her vital organ, and she was losing much blood.

"B-Boss, at this rate, she'll die. Don't we have to press her wound or something?"

"Nah, let it be," the boss raised one hand to his subordinate's face. "She needs to feel the pain, the same pain when I saw my underlings got killed by her, in front of my eyes. Moreover, it turns out she _bears _the flame, it's inside her body."

"But won't the flame die if she died?"

"Who knows? But she has to suffer." the boss squatted and looked into her lowered head. She hadn't spoken one word and hadn't even moved an inch. Her expression wasn't seen. "Hey, can you hear me? Or are you too scared to even struggle?"

Haru didn't respond while the boss was waiting for a reaction. When the quiet atmosphere took place, his five Mafioso shuddered upon unknown cause. The feeling of that unnerving cold air shivered them through their spine, stiffened them like a block of wood. Unknown anxiety and fear prickled at the moment of silence, but more so when their eyes glanced at her.

"Boss…? Isn't it safer to assign more people?"

"What?" the boss turned around to one Mafioso. "It's just that…" the boss noticed the agitation, doubts, and the restlessness his subordinates gave away to the helpless, wounded girl. He raised his eyebrows and turned his head around to look at her. "What? You're scared of her? Since when you guys became so coward? You're supposed to be the bravest and strongest men I have. Bear with it; we need to wait until we figure out what to do with her. And then—"

A soft, unnerving giggle was heard from her. As they immediately had their eyes on her, they froze in edginess. As she lifted her head slowly, her crooked smile was seen. The feeling of sensing the same danger, the same vibe of viciousness—only this time, their eyes could see a solid black flame on her forehead. They weren't strong enough to see a dying flame, but this dusk flame was on a different level, an exception for those poor souls it would contentedly devour.

* * *

The hotel was surrounded with Mafioso—the enemies, yet none could hear the scream and cry for help echoed throughout the block of cement. They all watched and on guard in case the Vongola came to rescue. In the grand lobby, several Mafioso were gathering, some were chattering, until two pair of foot set the quietness.

All sensed the murderous vibe on a single spot, looking at that direction, where one man with tonfa and sharp stare emitted a purple unseen flame. Without hesitation, all that came running to him were knocked out by his tonfa and the rest were stabbed by cloud hedgehogs. The hotel belonged to that family, and all employees were secretly Mafioso.

But Hibari knew. Normally, he would gladly knock out everyone for his own pleasure, but for now, the limit that bonded him was his personal job. He had Haru to save. It was as if he precisely knew where she was, taking no time to search throughout the premises and headed straight to the top floor.

What he imaged about Haru was a frail and helpless girl who had something dangerous inside of her and never wanted protection. She couldn't fight, much less killing. He needed to hurry. But that perception shattered like a glass as he opened the door to see blood splattered on the ground and the corpses' eyes were cloudy.

There was no sign of struggle. The room was sprayed with their blood, fear, and sorrow that possibly wouldn't leave a trace. Their pupils dilated, their agape mouth and aghast look as if they saw a form of the most dreadful. The one thing that could beat that shock was the girl who was standing amongst them, licking her curved up lips with one thin-bladed sword on her grip.

And the black dying will flame that vividly blazed on her forehead and the pacifier she wore. She seemed to notice his presence and looked at him with her red eyes, the same eyes Tsuna had in his hyper mode, only her color was nothing like warm. He instantly stiffed, frozen like ice, the first time had he ever felt this much danger.

"How about it? Is this the girl you wish to protect?" she snickered. "What's wrong? You seem shaken. You shouldn't be, though. Sawada Tsunayoshi and I are alike."

"What…?"

"You always see the difference in his normal and hyper mode, right? His hyper mode is what you can call his 'alter-ego'. If you're afraid of my 'alter-ego', then it also means you're afraid of him."

"What are you talking about? That man never gave off this… aura you emit."

"True. It's also because he's conscious. But as for me, after my hyper mode wears off, I won't remember a thing regarding this murder—no, 'meal'. But it's weird… my creator thought this is another side of me, that's not Miura Haru, like a beast was merged with this body."

"Aren't you?"

She smiled and chuckled. "But that indecisive old man doesn't know. He never merged a beast. He made me as one. So, let me ask you this, am I still an herbivore?"

Hibari just stood in agitation. Seeing that, she chuckled cynically. "Never forget, Hibari Kyoya; the man who lights an orange flame on his forehead is always Sawada Tsunayoshi… and the girl who lights her own flame, standing amongst these dead corpses is always Miura Haru. I trust you to keep this a secret. I highly value those who know their places. After all, when you're around me, you're just a helpless herbivore."

"I don't like your insult."

She removed the pacifier around her neck and put it inside her pocket. "No. It's my evaluation based on your sweat and your eyes. I can sense fear and hesitation. How does it feel? It's scary, isn't it?" her casual smile somehow sent shiver through his spine. "Sorry, I shouldn't have scared you more. Well, until we meet again… Kyoya."

The flame lit off and she swooned. Hibari caught her in time. He stared at her hand gripping the sword, glancing at the blood on her stomach, recognizing it was her wound and she lost so much blood of her own. His eyes narrowed as he recalled the hyper mode Haru that sorely wasn't all like Tsuna's. Even Hibari's bloodlust fetish lost to her. He wondered if this was the naïve girl he had met 10 years ago.

"Hibari…-san?" her right hand slowly reached to his cheek, he flinched. He never felt this warm before, he never let anyone touched him… but her. Even when she got hurt, even when blood dripped from her lips, she gave off the warmest smile, the first smile that seemed to melt his cold heart; his eyes widened. "I'm glad… you're not hurt…"

He didn't know this feeling. She was in pain, she was losing too much blood, but that didn't stop her from spewing uncommon rumble. He never felt this sort of 'feeling' before. His hand reached for her right hand and held her hand. He was ever a silent man, but his heart at the moment wasn't. He just stared at her. Compared to the Haru he had met, he was in disbelief, and yet, he knew that girl he just saw was Haru.

"I'm… tired… good night…" her eyelids fell down. Staring down at her sleeping face, he was sure. This wasn't the naïve girl he had known. This was the girl he should protect.

"Haru!" hyper Tsuna kicked the door, surprised seeing the sight and Hibari who was holding wounded Haru. He scurried to her in worries, didn't notice he was being eyed by Hibari. At the moment, his concentration was on Haru, he didn't aware of his surroundings.

"Hibari, did you kill all of these men?" Tsuna questioned and scowled, clung to his anger. Hibari was quiet for seconds until he shut his eyes and said, "These men made my blood boil. Whom I killed isn't your concern, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"What?! You…!" he wanted to lash out his anger so bad, it tingled his nature. It almost happened, until he just hissed in annoyance. "Since you saved Haru, I'll pretend this never happens." Tsuna carried Haru to the door, but suddenly stopped.

He turned around to Hibari and narrowed his eyes. "How did you get here?"

Hibari, as usual, didn't say a word and looked away. "_How _did you manage to find her, Hibari?"

* * *

_The darkness that covered her sight slowly thinning as it was replaced by an unrecognizable hotel room. She lifted her body slowly on the bed, heading for outside. She was like a lost girl, walking and looking around aimlessly. But it's weird, she thought. Her eyesight looked blurry and rather bright, as if she was dreaming. She didn't have her wound, either. She spotted a staff and asked her whereabouts, but he didn't seem to notice her._

_She tried asking anyone she encountered, but all gave the same neutral response as the first staff._

_**Is this… a dream? But...**_

_Suddenly, she could hear familiar voices. She ran towards the source, heading outside the hotel, but stopped as she knew the place. It was Mafia Land. "This is fun!" she hastily turned around, surprised to see Tsuna's parent there. "I've always wanted to go here with you! But if only Tsu-kun could come…"_

"_Tsuna has an important ceremony—you know, for his company? He's the boss now." Iemitsu answered. "For him, let's have fun."_

_Nana nodded vigorously and continued to walk with her husband hand-in-hand._

_**Why am I here…?**_

_Haru's body led her to follow everywhere Nana and Iemitsu went, like it was natural. From afternoon until dawn she had been following them, but for her, the time seemed much shorter, like it was only few minutes. Suddenly, to her surprise, as if she warped to a cliff at that land. They were watching the sunset while Nana's head rested on Iemitsu's shoulder. Haru wasn't focused on them, but the view, the two couple, the sunset._

_Somehow, it was like a déjà vu. Her mouth created a small gap and her eyes widened a bit, her stare was blank in confusion. All of the sudden, she trembled—her body was trembling. The uneasy feeling struck her. She took a step backwards, stepping onto the grass that made them respond and look at her direction._

_Haru froze. Their eyes were directed precisely at her face, like they could see her. "You're…" Nana looked surprised, but Iemitsu was shocked. Instantly, Haru felt a presence behind her, one that they were looking at. She turned around quickly in uneasiness, but what she saw wasn't the person, but in an instant, the bodies of Tsuna's parent before her eyes. The orange shade of the dusk and the bloody red bodies lying on the ground—a mix of color that widened her eyes in horror._

…

Tsuna sat on a chair, gazing at her sleeping face—but it didn't look peaceful. Her brows were furrowed and her lips trembled of unspoken words. "What are you dreaming, Haru?" his voice was so soft, ever so in concern. Medical equipment beside her bed and oxygen mask to support her breathing were gathered on her bedroom. He wanted to interrogate Hibari as to why he was there, but he never gave an answer. And Tsuna didn't have that time; Haru was his most concern.

"Juudaime!" Gokudera opened the door. "Please come with me!"

"W-Wait, what—"

"Just come!" Gokudera grabbed his hand, forcing him to leave the room. Although he was in puzzlement, he trailed Gokudera, running towards the front door. As they descended the big Y-shaped stairs, many members peered down from the upper floor, looking at one particular 'guest' with one girl.

"Yuni?" Tsuna stopped few meters from her. Yuni just smiled—but rather awkwardly before she moved sideways. Tsuna was shocked—too shocked seeing the infant with fedora hat behind her. "…What is the meaning of this? Ninth said you were gone missing."

Reborn just stared at him, which snapped Tsuna. "Say something!"

"You really do change, with—"

"Why wouldn't I? You left me to face this dark underground world alone!"

"_With_ that stupidity you're still carrying. You're still a Dame-Tsuna, after all." Reborn smirked. "Wha—!" although Tsuna looked pretty much mad, at the moment that nickname was spoken by Reborn, his expression was very much like 10 years ago, like nothing had changed. And deep down, Reborn was glad. That was why he smiled. All that rage aimed for Reborn vanished instantly.

"Don't be mad at uncle Reborn, Sawada-san," Yuni stepped forward. "He didn't willingly leave you. He had to. All he had been doing is to pro—"

"Yuni," Reborn interrupted, giving away 'don't say a word' stare at her. Yuni hung her head low apologetically for a moment before lifting it up and looked at Tsuna face-to-face. "We're here to offer protection for the owner of the dusk flame. Giglio Nero Family—and I believe I speak also for Gesso Family, we will lend our power to protect that owner. Uncle Reborn returned solely for that purpose."

Reborn was the only one that could see the hesitation in her eyes. He knew this case bothered her, and he knew that she also realized this matter couldn't be leaked out. She resented hiding the complete truth, but she had to. However, Tsuna didn't see the oddness in her.

"…so, you've heard, but you don't know who it is?" Yuni nodded. "I'll show you."

Yuni and Reborn on her arms followed Tsuna. They might seem calm, but the nervousness was there. When they entered the bedroom, knowing who it was, the surprised look was there, on their faces. Reborn jumped off Yuni's arms to the bed, clenching his small fists. How could it be her? Why her? The mystery almost made his calm erupt. He turned around to look at Yuni, whose pallor face was seen, gazing at Haru in disbelief.

"Tsuna, leave us alone."

Confused, but he complied with Reborn's wish and left the room. Yuni walked towards the bed in slow pace with disturbed face. His face was shadowed. "…is it her?" he whispered. Yuni closed her eyes and nodded faintheartedly with her hands put together and pressed against her chest.

After Yuni spoke her recognition, she felt the pressing anger around him. Reborn blamed Checkerface for this, she knew. She could read minds. To her surprise, Reborn removed his earpiece and crushed it to pieces. "I don't believe Haru is a threat to the world. I don't want to assume anything and endanger her."

"This isn't Checkerface's fault, uncle. We know very well she accepted the power willingly… and why. He must've seen the potential in her."

"This is what I'm afraid the most. Nonetheless, she is Haru. If it's her, I know she's not a harbinger of death. She's not the sun that gives away the warmest and deadly warmth. She's the spring that gives away kind, gentle, and heartwarming warm, one that embraces whoever feels it."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Give me time to prove she's not what you foresaw. You can tell Verde and the others, but tell and convince them not to interfere. From now on, I'll do things my own way."

"I trust your judgment, uncle. You're never wrong."

"I'm human, Yuni. Sooner or later, I'll make mistakes. I just hope that… this isn't my mistake," he paused for few seconds as he stared at Haru's face with furrowed brows. "You can tell Tsuna to come—"

The monitor suddenly beeped in madness and rapidly, showing Haru's unstable and fast heartbeat rate. She panted heavily, despite she was wearing oxygen mask. This was almost like 10 years ago—Chrome's case when she lost her internal organs. But for sure, Haru wasn't losing her organs, but she would lose her touch to the reality if his kept up.

She jolted upwards and winced. She continued panting, looking so much in pain. Hearing the piercing beeping sound, the door was slammed open by Tsuna, followed by everyone else on his back.

"What's going on here?!" he approached her.

"NOO!" she shouted in her slumber. "What's wrong, Tsuna?!" Bianchi came, but halted as she saw Reborn. "Reborn…?"

"This can wait, Bianchi. Haru's condition is at peak." Bianchi flinched and turned her attention to Haru. Everyone was in worry, Tsuna panicked. "Haru! Can you hear me?!"

"PLEASE STOP!"

"Wake up!"

He held her hand and locked his stare to her. Her scream pierced through his ears painfully. She kept panting, her breath created a fog inside the mask, rapidly inhaling and exhaling like she was out of breath. When they couldn't do anything, her heartbeat rate kept escalating to high numbers. She gripped onto the pillow, the sheet, coughed, and jolted upwards again while screaming in pain.

The situation, her scream, her face told everything about the excruciating pain. Whatever that caused this, she had to wake up.

"I'm here for you! Please wake up!" even if Tsuna called her numerous times, she wouldn't wake up, still in the same dying state. He sensed what everybody there feared of. Either she would die or not, he would lose her again if something hadn't been done. Out of desperation, he removed the oxygen mask forcibly and gave her mouth-to-mouth respiration.

Everyone just stood in worry, looking at his effort. Yuni and Chrome put their hands together and prayed for him to succeed. The men stood looking at his friend desperately trying to save Haru. But after many times, it couldn't work. He peeled his mouth away from hers, cupped her face, and looked at her hopelessly, waiting for the best result, until Yamamoto noticed a spark of flame on her body started to form.

"Get away from her, Tsuna!" he pulled his one arm away, Tsuna reached his other arm to her as he was getting far from her. To everyone's surprise, out of the blue, a black flame combusted around her in hemisphere shape, as if that flame was acting as a barricade to keep everyone away from her. However his intention to save her couldn't be defeated by a mere flame, hence he was about to touch her, but when his hand touched the flame, he felt an electricity ran through his arms and after that, his arm exploded black flame residue.

Everyone gasped and eyes bulged in surprise. In front of their eyes an explosion occurred. He got down one knee. Although his arm was unscathed, unfortunately, he couldn't feel his arm. He held onto his paralyzed arm with narrowed eyes that gazed at Haru gravely. No one was incapable to act. As he looked at her face with her narrowed eyes, something passed through his head, made him flinch and fell silence briefly. Tsuna still didn't give up. Whatever that snapped him made him drink his pill, his eyes glowed orange color and stood up.

"Juudaime, what are you doing?!"

He wasn't wearing his gloves, but the burning flame on his forehead froze the people there. They watched him stood beside Haru, waiting for what he would do to save her.

**[HUMANITY PERCENTAGE]**

**83%**

**l**

**70%**


	13. Bring it or lose it?

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights go to their respectful and rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XIII **_

* * *

All stood in anxious, all eyes were set focus on him. Sky flame burst out of his entire body, coating and surrounding him. As his one moving arm reached for the barrier, everyone gasped and about to stop him, but much to their surprise, it penetrated through the deadly shield. Calmly and gingerly, his full body entered the barrier unharmed and leaned forward to her face.

He closed his orange eyes, cupped her cheek, and met his lips with hers. It wasn't mere touch, his calming demeanor under her unstable body dominated the flame. His tongue slipped through her lips, creating a small gap for him to transfer his flame into her body. The orange flame on his forehead began flickering, so as the flame that coated his body. Right now, he was glowing his own bright and comforting sky flame, and the dark flame slowly disintegrating as her body also glowed of his flame.

None of them yet to know his action, but Yuni. What he was doing to save Haru looked like a simple transferring his flame to the core of her body—where the flame resided, but it was more than that. The attribute of 'harmony' stabilized the wild and unsteady flame, thus making the flame shield to completely disappear and he could feel his arm again.

The monitor finally showed her stabilization and the sky flame wrapping them together slowly disappeared. With his lips still touching hers, he looked into her eyes that began opening, and the first thing she saw was his orange eyes. "Tsuna…-san?"

Her voice triggered something in him. His right hand cupped her cheek and pressed his lips against hers softly. At the moment, he didn't care if everyone was there, looking at the two with those stunned looks. A second it only took to subconsciously kiss her and then he peeled away, but with their foreheads still at touch. "…Thank goodness…" she could feel the breath he exhaled, it indicated worries.

He curved up his lips painfully at her and rose up with his flame lit off. She tilted her head and saw everyone worried for her. She lifted her body with a help from Tsuna, holding the sheet up and rolled it around her back to cover her naked body. By then, she finally spotted Reborn, her eyes bulged. Small blob of tears formed on her eyes, looking at the infant. She wanted to hug him. He had become a father figure for her, despite his baby appearance.

"You've become strong in heart, I'm proud of you." having heard him, she was silent for a moment until she nodded while wiping the tears. "I'd… like to talk to you."

"Before then, you should rest, especially for New Year's Eve."

"Eh? What do you mean, Reborn-chan?"

"Ah! That's right!" Ryohei exclaimed. "We're going to have a party to the extreme!"

"What?! We're not—" Gokudera was cut off by Yamamoto's arm that circled and clung around his neck with his usual cheery smile. "You're always so hyper, senpai."

"Bastard! Let me go! And you're just as idiot as him! We're not going to have—"

"Come on, everyone! We're going to be extremely busy!" Ryohei and Yamamoto dragged Gokudera out, much to his dispute and annoyance, but the two brick-headed men didn't seem to be bothered by it. Afterwards, the others left, leaving Yuni and Reborn that were left. "Then, I'll be heading back, Sawada-san, uncle. Rest well, Haru-san." with a smile and bow, she left. Haru just looked where they had left in puzzlement.

"Haru," Reborn called. "What happened just now? What did you dream?"

She flinched at his question. She hung her head low and seemed hesitant to answer. Reborn noticed that. "Hey, Haru," he called again. "Remember our promise?"

She nodded. "It might be too late, but thank you for the gun, Reborn-chan."

"What? That gun? Reborn, you gave it to her?"

"Yeah."

"What was on your mind? You gave a gun to a 14-year-old girl! Because of that gun, she accidentally killed Kyoko-chan!"

"Huh? Kyoko's dead?"

"She was. She's alive now." Haru answered.

"How?"

"I don't know. She said she was revived." Tsuna answered.

"That's not possible. By who?"

"I don't—"

"Checkerface." Tsuna and Reborn immediately looked at Haru, and she snapped upon realizing the mistake she just did. "I mean… uh… I saw him heading towards Kyoko-chan's grave and then he brought her back."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tsuna asked. "Sorry…" she gave off an apologetic look.

"Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. You should rest, Haru. Take care of her, Tsuna." after Tsuna nodded, Reborn left him and Haru. He stared at Reborn's tiny figure leaving. It took him seconds to notice Haru was staring at him. He looked at her in confusion. "Aren't you going to leave?" asked her.

"Why would I?"

"I want to be left alone."

"Then, I won't leave you alone," he leaned his body forward to her and pressed his hand against the bed to withstand his weight. "You were always there to help. Now, it's my turn to be here for you."

The conviction he spoke and his intent and sincere gaze at her, her face flushed. But she always denied his approach. "I don't need any help." she masked her expression so he wouldn't see her wavering mind, and thought maybe he would give up. Sadly for her, he didn't.

He moved closer until their body touched. His hand snaked to her back, loosening the sheet that covered her back, running his fingers through her back. She shivered and stiffened upon feeling the cold metal of his Vongola ring and the touch of his fingers. He leaned down to her neck, kissing it softly.

She couldn't do anything but blushed at his touch. Her hands were used to keep the sheet up to cover her body. She couldn't push him away. Feeling his soft lips that nibbled her skin, she tried hard not to moan, otherwise it would give pleasure. With her eyes closed and red shade painted her cheeks, she opened her trembled mouth. "T-Tsuna…-san… stop…"

Unexpectedly, he did stop. Her eyes dilated a bit at the pinkness that shaded his cheek and his gaze towards her. It didn't indicate sadness at all, but hopelessness. He leaned his face to her and kissed the corner of her lips. He whispered to her ears, "I can't stop."

"Y-You have Kyoko-chan to love!"

He snapped and hastily peeled away in a red tomato face—the look of shock, as if she just snapped him out of his carelessness. He palmed half of his face in frustration and flustered face, looking down at the floor. "…Don't tell this to anyone. But you don't have to say it out loud like that. You almost startled me to death."

"I had to," he turned his head to look at her. "If you keep doing this, you'll betray Kyoko-chan's trust."

"…No, it wasn't like that."

"Eh?"

He looked back at the carpet and mused. He loved Kyoko, it was true. But his 'nature' as a man, his hormonal lust was triggered only on Haru. He treated Kyoko like a delicate flower, he never kissed her or act all romantic, holding hands was only the extent of it. But with Haru, all he wanted was to cherish her like how a man cherished his woman. He became possessive over her, and autonomously wanted to claim and show his position, to dominate her, the way he showed his affection for her aside protection was like a normal man of his age, more so he was unmarried. Towards Kyoko, his affection was shown by protection only.

And as he felt that form of affection, being with her made him forget about Kyoko. He was glad Haru reminded him. "Then, what was it like?" she asked.

"Nothing. Thanks, anyway."

"Ah… you're welcome."

"All right… you need a drink—?"

"Yes, please." she quickly interrupted. It was an awkward moment, if one might say. He hastened like he wanted to get out of that tense atmosphere, leaving her alone. She had her own reason to make him left quickly. Her face turned perplexed as her eyes stared down to the bed. Right now, all in her mind was her dream, and the possible truth she might just see.

She gave an apologetic look. "...I'm sorry… Tsuna-san…"

* * *

The next day, despite her condition, Haru insisted to train immediately. No matter how persistent he was with his disapproval, Haru kept pushing him, and left him no choice but to comply—although with a condition that she had to rest more often and never pushed herself. Up until this moment, preparing the decorations and set-up for the party, he still didn't accept the fact that Haru chose _that_ person of all people. He walked to the training room, since he was told Haru had started her training.

…

"_What the—are you out of your mind, Haru? Of all people in this room, why him?!" Tsuna roughly pointed at the skylark who was leaning against the wall._

"_This is why you set up a meeting to decide my bodyguard, right? If you don't want me to choose Hibari-san, why did you call him here?" Tsuna twitched and fell silence. There was nothing to be denied of her words, since it was true. "I agreed to this, so the decision should be in my hands. Besides, Hibari-san had been guarding that cave, including me for years. He found me sooner than you when I was captured. There should be no reason why he's not perfect for this."_

_Tsuna didn't want to be beaten from this tiny argument. "But Hibari-san won't agree to it. There's no way he—"_

"_I accept," all instantly turned to the cloud man. "I want the job."_

"_See?" Haru gave off a smile of victory while Tsuna's face gave off a defeat look. "Tsuna-san, I have one last demand," her smile disappeared as soon as her face turned solemn, giving perception of what she was about to say was serious. "Please let him train me, too."_

"_What? Are you sure? It's true that it'll be easier for everyone, but… it's just that…"_

_He didn't trust Hibari regarding Haru, he wanted to say that. Not only he was a Spartan tutor, but how they became close and even to the point he knew her location, this unclaimed secret Hibari held of Haru, Tsuna didn't like it. Somehow, it bothered him. But for her safety, he had to go with what was best. "Fine. Then, Hibari-san, from now on, her life is in your hands and you are responsible for her growth. Protect her like your life depends on it. And please, don't treat her as rough as you treated me 10 years ago. I don't want her to go through living hell."_

…

When the mechanical door opened, his anger almost burst out. The training room had a space as large as the training room in Vongola's HQ Namimori, and despite how big it was, Tsuna immediately spotted bruises around Haru as she kneeled one knee in front of Hibari and his tonfa.

"Hey!" he ran towards Haru and inspected her bruises. Even when he touched it slightly, she already winced in pain. He sent a sharp glare to Hibari. "Let me remind you she's still in recovery state."

"It's fine," her hand tapped his shoulder and reduced his glare. "I told him not to act soft. I want to get stronger soon, and not later. Don't worry, I won't die." Tsuna flinched and silenced, looking at her resolute eyes that seemingly didn't have doubts or fear of getting hurt, just by looking into her eyes, he knew she didn't intend to die. Her resolve was to get strong.

"Let it go, Tsuna," Reborn entered the hall. "Respect her wish and get back to your work. Are you going to slack off while everyone's working their butt off on their mission to help with the party preparation?"

"E-Eh? O-Okay, I'm going." he stood up and left.

"Shall we continue then?" Hibari lifted his tonfa in battle stance and Haru did the same. Both dashed together and raised their weapon against each other, their weapon clashed. When Hibari swung his other tonfa to her, she quickly dodged it. Reborn watched through the training and evaluated her movement. He knew she was a gymnast in middle school, but it was years ago, and her current movement was far beyond a gymnast. Her body movement was swift, smooth, graceful, and there was no unnecessary movement—yet. Some of her movements were still rough, but she managed to show rapid improvement, even more than Tsuna.

Reborn had a thought that this was all because of her new identity as an inhuman Void arcobaleno. Afterwards, he walked out of the room, but stopped as he found Gokudera who seemingly had been peeking inside. Seeing Reborn, he got startled. "Re-Reborn-san!"

"What are you doing here?"

"N-Nothing. Excuse myself!" much to Reborn's confusion, after he bowed, he immediately scampered away.

* * *

The party was set outdoors on their spacious garden. Sparks of fireworks were seen from the city, lifting up to the sky and exploded. Precisely midnight January 1st, the night was never been so loud and lively before as everyone was on party mood. The weather was perfect, too. All member of Vongola watched the fireworks that Gokudera and Ryohei just blew in amazement. Screams of joy echoed throughout the place.

She didn't realize, but at that time, she completely forgot about her plan to avoid them. Like everyone else, she enjoyed it. There were some silly moments when the fireworks had a malfunction and exploded to all direction. It was a really tiresome night, everyone ran away from the explosive, but it was also the funniest moment when laughs escaped them, even Haru. All were on the mood and none was left behind, except for Hibari who preferred to stay in his room.

Reborn watched the expressions she made thoughtfully and remembered what Tsuna had told him before about her fake smiles.

"Reborn, right?" he whirled around and saw an unfamiliar man with black hair and red eyes. "Sorry, I just feel honored to meet a former arcobaleno in person, let alone the strongest of them all."

"Who are you?"

"Nero-san?" Haru approached them with Tsuna. "What are you doing here? I thought you hate being with humans."

"Exactly. Your boss invited me. But most importantly…" he held her hand, kneeled down, and kissed the back of her hand. "I want to see you."

Her face let out steam of embarrassment, red as fresh apple while Tsuna's face darkened, emitting restrained murderous and hateful aura. Swiftly, he stood in between them. "I believe you're here to meet Reborn?" he growled.

"Touché, Vongola," he turned around to Reborn with an amiable smile. "Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Nero Oscura. As I said, it's an honor to meet you."

"You know about the arcobaleno?"

"Including Checkerface. You might say… I have a connection in your world."

"Nero-san is a gifted scientist. He's also agreed to help us." Haru said.

Nero looked at his watch. "Uh-oh, I should head back."

"Why? You just got here."

"I appreciate it, Vongola. But I have a work to be done," he patted Haru's head and whispered to her ears. "Take care, _mio angelo_." he walked out of the area, heading for the front gate.

Reborn gave a sidelong glance at Nero in a thought. Somehow, there was something with that guy that set his instinct. Afterwards, without a word, he went inside, much to Haru and Tsuna's confusion.

Up at the second floor, he watched the fireworks alone on the wide balcony. Leon turned into a phone; he was going to call Yuni. "There's no way she's the Void." he spoke.

"Do you really mean that, uncle?"

"Well, no… I was just trying to convince myself."

"Wow, I never thought it would come to a day when uncle Reborn showed his feelings." she said in amazement.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he could hear her teasing giggle. "Relax, uncle. I've convinced the others and they permitted you."

"Really? By the way, do you know a guy named Nero Oscura?"

"The famous scientist, why?"

"Can you ask the others if they know him? There's something about him that triggered my murderous instinct."

A presence was felt along with footsteps. He hung up and turned around to see the brunette girl. She gave off a forced smile and approached him to watch the fireworks with him. She was quiet, never spoke a word. "I heard from Tsuna you've been forcing your smile lately." Reborn broke the silence.

"You believe him?"

"Nothing escapes his eyes."

"Really?" a doubt flashed from her words. "It's hard nowadays."

"Is that so?" a doubt also flashed out of him. But he didn't want to make the air around them worse. "How's your parents?"

"They're gone," Reborn flinched in surprise. "They were killed by mafia."

"Sorry…"

"It's fine."

"Tsuna broke your heart, you accidentally shot Kyoko to death, your parents died… I see now why you're like this. But even so, this is mainly because of me."

"Huh?"

"I—"

"Don't," she interrupted and smiled. "Don't ruin this day. I know by deciding to live a solitude life, it destroys me and shatters my emotion. But I don't want to be the easygoing, blunt, and crybaby girl anymore. It has to stop."

"You changed for everyone, but mainly for Tsuna, right? It doesn't matter, Haru. What you're doing now is selfish. You want to cut your connection with everyone for your own reason. That noble reason is a part of your selfishness." Reborn said in the mildest tone. She admitted it, but just by her silence, he could figure it out. "There's nothing wrong in looking out for your own needs. Let's make a deal, if you stop rejecting yourself and everyone, if you can feel utter happiness and smile wholeheartedly, I'll show you my true form."

"Eh? Really?" he noticed the beam in her eyes, as if it was what she anticipated. He smiled in please and said, "It's our new promise."

"Haru-chan," Chrome called. "Boss told me to bring you into your room. He ordered you to rest."

"Order? Okay, I'm coming." she approached Chrome and walked away from Reborn.

As Haru rose to the bed to a sitting position, Chrome stacked the pillows on her back, Haru leaned on the pillows, and Chrome pulled the sheet up to cover her lower body. After Haru thanked her, Chrome nodded with a smile and left. The room was very quiet and deadly silent; the quietness could tranquilize any soul, even hers. The loud bang of the fireworks startled her. She peered into the window from her bed, the colorful fireworks were so loud and cheerful. She smiled as it reminded her of who she had been: cheerful, noisy, and easygoing.

Those were the aspects she had believed needed in life, perhaps to cheer everyone up, to be a reminder she wouldn't be falter by anything, as the spring who gave life to the nature that had frozen in winter, to bring about positive feelings to the people after the coldness and sadness that had chained them. When she thought about it now, it wasn't that bad.

A sound of the door opening broke that thought, she diverted her attention to the door, and saw Gokudera crossing his arms and put up an expression of dislike. "You're surprisingly quiet. Aren't you going to say anything about my presence here?"

"I don't have to voice out my thoughts if I don't want to."

"I'm not here to pick a fight like we always did when we were teens."

"Neither do I will shout at you like usual."

He twitched at her words and calm. "You may be able to fool Juudaime, but not me. Your sudden change, especially your calmness is uneasy. What are you hiding, woman?"

"What makes you think I'm hiding something?"

"Because I know you do. Your change of personality, the dusk flame is inside of you, I can think of no reason why the most powerful flame is inside your body."

She sighed in disappointment. "People grow up, Gokudera-san. Of course, I changed. Everyone changed. If you're so smart, why can't you open your mind to all possibilities?"

"Don't insult me, woman! I've thought about that but it's not as odd as your case! Juudaime focuses his attention on you solely, I don't like it. You disappeared, all of the sudden, leaving everyone to worry. And after we found you, we found out you have a dangerous flame in you. I assume you got it somewhere, the flame couldn't possibly be born within you."

She truly didn't want to continue the argument. She wanted to rest. "Gokudera-san—"

"But what I hate the most: you left, because of juudaime's relationship with Sasagawa."

Her pupil dilated in surprise. It stirred up her emotion, it stabbed her, his accusation as if deafened her ears. But she couldn't talk back; she couldn't tell him the reason why she left. At that time, Reborn's last words suddenly struck her head. She looked down with half-lidded and glassy eyes, quiet for few moments.

"It's true…" she faked her smile as her part of face was covered with shadow. "I left because I'm jealous. Even if I changed, I couldn't make my selfishness disappear."

For Gokudera, it was a confession, but the indication to that lie was there; he just didn't see it. "Nothing good comes from me. I have no intention to ruin their relationship. Tsuna-san and Kyoko-chan deserve to be together, to have a happy ending. That's why, as his guardian, it is also my job to ensure they'll have their happily ever after."

"Huh? Why would you? You like him."

"Not anymore," he flinched in surprise. He never thought Haru would stop loving Tsuna. This girl was head over heels in love with Tsuna. "Gokudera-san, thank you for reminding me."

"Huh? Reminding you of what?"

She never gave an answer and just smiled down to the bed. "Tch. Whatever." with his hands slipped into his pocket, he left her and afterwards, after the door was completely shut closed, her lips curved down slowly. "I'm sorry, Reborn-chan. It seems… I can't return my virtue back as the spring."

* * *

It had been a month since January 1st, there was no conflict, no family that aimed for her flame yet, it was a peace everyone was living. Haru's training proved her worth, her existence as a guardian was approved. Along the training session, Reborn was always there. He watched through her every interaction in daily life and the emotion she let out.

There might be vast improvement in her training, but not her heart. She became more distant, deciding to live solitude life in the end, accepting no one as one she wanted to live with. It was a dilemma; what she did may be right for the entire human race, but not for her and her friends.

At night, when no one knew, he was the only one who knew what torture she had to deal with everyday. He couldn't do anything. The only thing he was capable to do was just leaning against the door that made a gap for him to see her. She always looked terrified, her pallor face, hands that always grasped her head firmly, her horrified stare, no night was skipped for that torture. She often hid her eyesight by burying it under her folded legs.

He didn't know what she saw, but for sure, it was something from the Void and she was the only one who could see it. Becoming stronger, deciding to cut the ties with her friends, living whatever that kept torturing her, slowly, her emotion would break. Her burden was heavy, it would make anyone go insane, but she still maintained her calmness.

She was currently in the library, doing her first report of her first mission. Reborn's focus was solely on her, until he heard footsteps away and looked at whoever walked towards the library. It shouldn't be odd if Tsuna wanted to go to the library, but he looked serious and stopped precisely near the sofa she sat, facing her.

"Can I talk to you for a while?" he asked and Haru closed the laptop, looking at him. "I need you to come with me to Mafia Land."


	14. What was hidden in a piece of memory

**I never expected to finish this so quick, not to mention this chapter is supposed to be longer than this. Since it's too long, I cut it in half. I didn't want to upload this soon at first, but since it's finished and how heavy it feels to just let it hanging around, I think I should upload it.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights belong to their rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XIV**_

* * *

"…Mafia… Land?" her eyes widened in shock. "W-W-What for?"

She started to sweat in anxiety. "We'll go tomorrow night. Is there something wrong? You look disturbed."

"…No, there isn't."

"If you got something to say, say it." he sat beside her. She felt the intense gaze from him and she couldn't meet her eyes with his. She was nervous and tried not to show it. "I… really have to do this report. Please don't disturb—" as she was going to open the laptop, Tsuna forcibly shut it close, grabbed her cheeks, and turned her head to face him. "I'm not giving you an option. I'm telling you to come with me. I order you as a boss, not as a friend." his sharp gaze and authoritative tone made her hold her breath in shock and froze her. He never spoke to her in this manner before.

She wasn't scared, but it was rather unnerving to hear him like that. Her subconscious mind wanted to comply with him, but she was as stubborn as him, voice of her conscious mind was a diversion that made things harder for her. As her mouth opened to a slight gap, Tsuna quickly put his finger against her lips. "You made a promise to Reborn years ago, right? Did you stick to that promise?"

She nodded slightly. He smiled and said, "Then, this time, let me fulfill my promise. Remember when I apologized to you for yelling at you, and you wanted me to take you to the amusement park? Although it may not look like what you expected, at least please let me fulfill my promise."

"It wasn't really a promise, Tsuna-san. You never gave a reply."

"It's a promise to me. And would you let me lighten my burden or would you make me stay guilty for the rest of my life?"

It was an utter defeat. It was reasonable. Her face flushed and her brows were furrowed upon thinking how smart he was to be able to point right through her weakness that irritated her. But she was in doubt. After getting so much bloody visions, she was afraid she couldn't control her power, she might hurt him. If she were to deny, her reason was to protect him from her. She could say that as an excuse, without mentioning the Void.

"Gyahaha! Lambo-san's here!"

They flinched in surprise as they heard that voice. All of the sudden, someone jumped to the coffee table, but much to their surprise, it was Lambo, 5 year-old Lambo. "Ne, ne, what's this I heard about amusement park? I wanna go, too!"

"Lambo? But how…? He was here before?" he asked Haru, but she seemed to be as confused as he was. "Lambo-chan was really here, though, but not…"

"Hey, Dame-Tsuna! I wanna go, too!"

"Who are you calling 'Dame-Tsuna'?!" he yelled back at the snotty kid. Seeing Lambo letting out his tongue at him mockingly and Tsuna reacted to that in annoyance, her mouth created a gap and her eyes widened a bit. She chuckled, it reminded her of 10 years ago, like nothing had changed.

Couldn't take of the child's mayhem, he exhaled deeply. "This Lambo must have blasted himself with ten year bazooka."

"Then, he should be back in five minutes, right?"

"I don't think so. Look at the Vongola gear inside his hair? Around that time, after the Shimon battle, the bazooka had been showing malfunction. I can't tell when he'll get back."

"Haru! Take me to the amusement park!" he jumped to her lap. "But Lambo-chan, we're not in Japan. Tsuna-san was mentioning Mafia Land." she tried to calm the boy, but he even got more hyped up. "Then, take me there! I wanna go with you and Tsuna!"

"B-But, I won't—"

"Lambo-san wants to go! Haru, you're mean!" he rolled around like any spoiled child would do to get what they wanted. She was in quandary, didn't know how to calm him down. "A-All right! I'll go and you can come, but if Tsuna-san allows it."

"I allow it." Tsuna replied.

"Gyahaha! Of course you do, Dame-Tsuna! Now, I want ice cream!" he jumped off and ran off to the door. "Lambo-chan! You can't walk around looking like that!" Haru stood up and chased him.

After that, the library went silence. He was alone there, until Reborn entered. "What about Mafia Land?" he asked. "Oh, there's an annual party held there. Bosses that are affiliated to Vongola will be there." answered Tsuna.

"Why did you invite her?" at that question, Tsuna twitched. He fell silence for a moment before standing up and headed to the door. He stopped at the doorstep and spoke without looking at him. "You're not the only one who can see through her behavior, Reborn. In the past months, I know she was trying to keep her distant between us," he said. "That's why I'll make my move. I'll keep reminding her we will never stay away from her, no matter how often she resists."

Tsuna walked away without Reborn to stop him. He walked to the kitchen and spotted Chrome with Lambo. He was eating a cake and Chrome seemed to babysit him in Haru's place. "Eh? Where's Haru? I wanted to ask if she has a formal dress." he asked. "We bought one back at Japan. She's now delivering a tray of food to the Ninth, boss." Chrome replied.

"I see. Thanks, Chrome." he walked out of the kitchen, heading to Ninth's room.

Haru knocked on the door few times before entering. Ninth wasn't asleep when she entered, but she never met him in person, she didn't know him. Despite the old man was sick, his smile as if belonged to someone who wasn't sick at all. She froze for a moment until she snapped and put the food on his lap.

Just as she was going to leave, he called out to her. "Haru, right?"

She turned around and nodded. "Short brown hair and brown eyes… you look exactly like Tsunayoshi-kun's mother." he smiled at her. Haru flinched as he mentioned Tsuna's mother. She decided to drag a chair towards the bed and sat. "…Were they really killed by mafia?" she whispered.

"No," her eyes bulged slightly in surprise. She tightened her clenched fist on her lap and tilted her head downwards. "You know the truth, don't you?"

"…Do you?"

"I only know it wasn't part of mafia. Someone made it look like that."

Her eyes narrowed in agitation, expressing disturbance. Ninth could see that. Her body started to tremble, shadow casted over her face, she bit her lips, all indication as though showed regret and agitation.

"It's not your fault."

She flinched, her tearful eyes were seen. A moment after, Tsuna came by. "How are you, Ninth?" asked him. Ninth beckoned he was fine as ever. "Oh, let me introduce her to you. She's Miura Haru. She's my friend and now acting as my guard—" she quickly stood up and left, much to his confusion. "…ian. What's wrong with her?"

"Tsunayoshi-kun, chase her."

"Eh?"

"She needs you."

He didn't know what happened, but he complied with him and pursued her to her room. However, when he was going to open the door, it was locked. He called out to her many times and banged the door, but there wasn't any reply.

* * *

Haru never left her room until the night of departure. The Vongola boss kept looking at his watch, waiting for his dusk guardian. He kept looking at it in agitation, but it wasn't because of impatience. Reborn looked at the sweat that running through his face, the pallor face, and the disturb look all over. "Tsuna," he called, but he didn't seem to hear. "Tsuna."

"E-Eh?" he snapped and looked at Reborn perplexedly. "What's wrong? You look kind of pale." asked Reborn. Tsuna shook his head, giving sign he was alright, but inside, Reborn knew he wasn't, and Tsuna knew better there was something wrong. It wasn't because of his worries for Haru, it was more to an uneasy feeling, he tried not to tremble, but whatever he was feeling, it was unnerving and eerie.

That feeling in that night would be the moment when lies covered reality, where footsteps and a figure entering Ninth's room would lead to multiple truths. Her glowing red eyes sent a dagger stare at Ninth's sleeping face, her pacifier that once glowed dusk color became darker to almost black. Her expression darkened as her entire body combusted black flame. As she reached her hand to his face, sucking his every seconds he had, her lips curved to a satisfied smirk.

_I will bring you… afterlife._

Haru had been quiet ever since she was found sleeping in her room. Even when they had arrived at the hotel in the Mafia Land, she just stared down blankly while sitting on the bed. Despite Lambo being noisy, she didn't move an inch. "Haru, let's play!" Lambo tucked her shirt, but she didn't seem to be moved.

Tsuna came out of the bathroom with towel and naked upper body. "Lambo, don't bug her. We'll play tomorrow. Now, here's a lollipop and don't be noisy." Tsuna gave him a big lollipop. Lambo cheered merrily before putting it in his mouth and fell silent while chewing.

Tsuna stood in front of Haru and she lifted her head to meet his face. "What's up? Are you sleepy?" he asked as he put his hands inside his pocket. Haru shook her head and looked down. "Not at all. I feel… oddly fresh."

He evaluated her behavior silently. He just didn't get it. Sometimes, she looked like the Haru he knew, but at times, it wasn't her—as if she could switch personality. He turned his stare to the drawer beside the bed with half-lidded eyes, but his mind was somewhere else. However, he eventually decided not to think about it too much. He squatted to reach his shirt from his luggage and donned it behind her back.

A doll of her caught her attention and she took it. Her face turned pink as she realized it was well taken care of. She couldn't deny the happiness of knowing that, the pink tinge that painted her cheeks and her genuine smile showed how sincerely happy she was… until she spotted his phone. The wallpaper had a picture of when he still dated Kyoko, they looked very happy.

What was she thinking? She shouldn't have felt happy just because a trivial thing. Taking care of that doll didn't mean anything special. Hatred for Kyoko started running through her mind, she narrowed her eyes and gave a sharply cold stare at her picture. But she instantly snapped as she realized the negative feelings. She was at confusion, shocked, overwhelmed by what just happened. She never felt this much hatred in her life, and it petrified and scared her.

Tsuna spotted Haru holding his phone. "Haru?" his voice snapped her out of her thought. She looked at him tilting his head to look at her face. "Why are you staring at my—" his voice trailed off as he realized what she had been staring at was his picture with Kyoko. His expression turned solemn, until he masked it with a smile. "You miss her?" he asked.

"Do you?" she countered and he flinched. Her monotonous tone silenced him and made him hold his breath in surprise. But he quickly wiped it with a smile on his face as he nodded. He sat near her while saying, "Sometimes, I regret leaving her and wish that never happened. She's my sun, after all."

"Sun, huh…" she smiled bitterly at the floor.

_It doesn't matter what I think._

_She deserves that title…_

"…Haru?"

"You've grown mature and wise," he blinked in puzzlement. "Even so, I still like you, whoever you are."

He was dumbstruck, blushed madly at her words. He slightly widened eyes and curved down lips showed how surprised he was. She didn't say it loudly like how she always had when she was little; it was very calm, almost emotionless. "L-Like me as what?"

She blinked in confusion, the word 'eh?' escaped her mouth. His face turned bright red upon realized what he just asked. He quickly turned around, exposing his back to her. "I-It's nothing. F-Forget it."

He was so embarrassed. He was the one at chaotic mind while she didn't seem to fall by the situation, still at her calm. As a man, he wasn't supposed to be in that position. It was humiliating for him. He was too embarrassed to look at her, but as a price, he couldn't see the mirthless look on her. Her eyes were downcast, recalling the foul thoughts about Kyoko. She kept on thinking: What's wrong with her? Is this a part of becoming the Void? Will her humanity vanish sooner than she thinks?

She had done the most unforgivable thing, one that shouldn't be given forgiveness. It made things worse for her. Everything began to confuse her, all of it didn't make any sense to her. It felt like she would lose her goal. She gripped her chest, thinking she might have been corrupted in heart. But it wasn't a surprise, as the Void, this would bound to happen.

"Actually… if my friends weren't there for me, I would become the man everyone fears of," he turned around to her. With wide-eyed, she listened. "Without Reborn, diving into mafia world built up my personality. It's because they were there for me that I'm still here right now. I realized I have a potential to rule through fear, I could kill, but I won't go that far. But now that everyone's here, Reborn's here… you're here, I have nothing to fear of what I will become."

His genuine smile and sincere remark widened her eyes, she was mesmerized. She could relate it to herself. Despite she wanted to cut her ties with them, there was a part of her old self that lived. No matter how much she rejected that, as long as she was with them, that could never die. She realized, her value as the spring was still there, in the depths of her corrupted soul, even if it was just a small bit of it.

"Why…?" she whispered. "Why is this always happening? Why must you throw me into dilemma?"

"Haru?"

"I… will keep rejecting you and everyone. I never want this to happen, but you force me to say this. We are no longer friends. My existence in the Vongola is just a guardian, nothing more."

"…What?" his eyes trailed her standing, heading towards the balcony.

"I hope you'll take this into consideration. I've said this to Gokudera-san. Nothing ever good comes from associating yourself with me. From the start ever since I woke up, I never considered any of you as friend. I have abandoned my status as Kyoko-chan's friend. Please… don't force me to do something that will hurt everyone." much to his dismay, she jumped off the balcony.

"Ah! Haru!" he called out to her, but she continued running away from the hotel, from him. He was at confusion and anxiety of what had gotten into her. Regardless of what she said, he couldn't care less about her confession. Despite knowing the direction she was going was the place where his parents died, he still intended on chasing her.

However, as he arrived at the place breathlessly, she was standing on the edge of a cliff. To his surprise, she fell on her knees in tremble. Her hands that were pressed against the ground trembled along with her body. He was few meters away but he could still see drop of tears that wet the soil.

It always happened. It never seemed to stop. Her smile as though concealed a profound sadness. Although it was faint, it was the same feeling as previous night. It made him feel reluctant to comfort her. But seeing how weak she was, recalling the meek and bitter smiles she always put, he had to do something.

He wanted to hug her, but flashes of him kissing her, hugging her, all that sort of action he began to realize something. Those things he had done had never made her feel better. It worsened things. He realized he became so possessive in returning the favor to her, to the point his actions weren't based on sense or logic. He didn't want to be that kind of friend. He then approached her, and she turned around, noticed his presence.

He looked perplexed, and her sad and blubbered face made him lose words. He scratches the back of his neck in confusion as his eyes were looking sideways. "Um... if... if you want to be alone, I can give you that. I should've appreciated your privacy in the first place. It's just that... I was afraid... you might leave us again. From now on, the whole repaying things to you is over. I'll give you your privacy and as for me... I'm going to do some thinking." he turned around and said, "I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I just want to protect you sincerely like how I protect Kyoko-chan." he stepped forward but stopped with a call.

He picked it up and then put it back in his pocket. He showed his face slightly. "The party is going to begin. We should hurry. We have to find a tux for Lambo, too."

"_What are you doing?!"_ his inner voice yelled. _"After all you've done, you can't just walk away now!"_ he didn't subdue to his inner voice. _"Look at your distance now! You're going to walk away from her, just like when you abandoned her 9 years ago! Is this what you aim for? Do you want history to happen again?!" _he still didn't subdue. He decided to let it go. Accepting her again, he believed it was enough to return the favor.

Unfortunately, the world was cruel to them. In a blink of an eye, something passed his face with speed. An explosion was heard behind, he immediately turned around, only to watch Haru fell together with the ground. At that moment, even a second felt like an hour, he ignored his surroundings like there was nothing else but her, in order to save her, to slump down to reach her hand with his hyper mode.

Her widened eyes showed her lost touch to what just happened. She watched through the struggle he put not to let her go. Her lips curved down for a moment before she whispered, "Let me go…"

"No! I won't let go!" tragically after he said that, the ground started to crack and soon, he would fall with her. She had to force sense to him. "I said let me go!"

"I won't let you go until I die!"

She flinched, her dilated pupils quivered over his determination. Stunned, she eyed on him, but it instantly diverted to a man who pointed his gun at Tsuna's head. Before she could scream, Tsuna already noticed. As the gun was fired, he quickly let go of his grip while rolling sideways to avoid the shot, and instantly dragged his body down to catch her falling hand.

Right now, half of his body didn't meet the ground. He could feel wind blowing to his upper body and gravitation trying to plunge them into the abyss. But he wouldn't give up. Haru saw the man raised his axe at Tsuna's head. Quickly, she reached for her gun from the leg holster and shot him. But there was another man.

"Let go of my hand!" she shouted. "Trust me!" by looking at her eyes, having heard those words, as much as he didn't want to let go, he let her go and instantly caught the bullet that was shot to his head. As he stood up, he noticed he was dealing with ten Mafioso. But what would become of Haru? He wanted to see whether she was okay, but he had enemies in front of him.

To his surprise, he felt a flame above his head. He looked at his right slowly, gazing at Haru wide-eyed with her white wings sparked glitter, like Byakuran, only her wings sparked orange dusk glitter. "You…" he was dumbfounded, stunned, speechless. The wings disappeared; Haru materialized her sword and went on battle stance.

In a way, Tsuna was mesmerized by her stance and eyes, showing him she would fight to survive. Remembering her weak state, mirthless eyes, comparing it to now, the change was quick. She recovered very fast. Her eyes now were sharp and stern, almost a glare.

Half of them ran towards her as she dashed towards them. One swung his axe at her; she avoided it by jumping to his back. All watched her in the air, gobsmacked, and as her feet landed in the enemy's circle, much to everyone's surprise, chains coated with black flame sprouted from the ground and hit the standby five, causing them to get tossed away.

Tsuna watched through her figure standing upright, every moment and seconds of her 'performance' wide-eyed. For a person who never had any fighting experience, her power grew rapidly. She was graceful in every movement, swift, and knew what to do. He was stunned, he didn't want to be left behind. With that, he joined the battle.

However…

Haru's eyes bulged as her head thumped painfully. She gripped her head. At the moment she widened her eyes, she was living a faint memory.

…

_The water tank shattered. The one slumbering touched her feet onto the ground. Her eyes were closed, yet she could feel a presence in front of her. The man with golden blonde hair and deep emerald eyes approached her, lifted her hand, and kissed the back of her hand. "Welcome to this world, my goddess."_

_When she opened her eyes, it was red blood. Afterwards, he reached a set of clothes from a bag behind him. He gave her a white collared shirt, red cravat tie, long black coat, black pants, white gloves, and black boots. "Please change into this."_

_He turned around as she was changing her clothes. "I apologize, but I will have to put you to slumber after this. It will be dangerous for you if you don't."_

"_That's fine," she finished donning the coat and buttoned it. She wore the gloves, "What's your name?"_

"_I'm afraid I can't tell you, but by the time you wake up, you and I will meet… however, you may not know me for two reasons. Also, I will also hide my true appearance until the fated day comes." the man's smirk as though concealed his true identity and intention, and Haru returned the smile. She could read his mind. She materialized a black sword. "So, who shall I greet first?"_

_He chuckled and gave a wide friendly smile that symbolized his wicked nature. "You'll love it. We're going to the Mafia Land."_

…

Her hand was slowly lowered from her head. As Tsuna finally reached her, having their back touching each other's, Tsuna didn't realize—or couldn't see, that her true eye color turned into almost red, although at the time, Haru was quite conscious.

**[HUMANITY PERCENTAGE]**

**68%**

**l**

**60%**


	15. Her eyes in exchange for love

**Meh, I wasn't in the mood to write, but I did it... somehow. So, forgive me if there's grammar mistake or spelling error. I was also too lazy and not in the perfect mood to edit and revise this chapter.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights goes to their respectful and rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XV**_

* * *

Both managed to defeat them all. The ones who could stand helped the fallen ones to stand up and run away. She looked at the direction where they retreated while covering her eyes with her palm in perplexity. She could've sworn she had a blackout for a moment, but the memory she just got was most disturbing. Who was that man? Why did she wake up that time? If she could, she would seek for a clue, but somehow, she could tell she already knew, but she couldn't remember it clearly.

But most importantly: Did she really kill Tsuna's parents?

A red liquid fell next to her, breaking her thought. She was shocked to see Tsuna suddenly fell on his one knee while holding his bloody upper arm. "Tsuna-san!" she squatted and pressed the wound. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"Why didn't I know about this? I thought I had separated the guns from them!"

Tsuna's eyes widened at her—what he thought 'odd' remark. He looked at her in surprise and bewilderment.

_She doesn't realize, does she?_

Tsuna gave away a façade reassuring smile, saying, "It's not your fault, Haru. We're late for the party, anyway."

"But what about your wound?"

He stood up. "I can stop the bleeding if I tie clothing over it."

"Are you crazy?! There's a small hospital here, right? You need to go there! The bullet is still inside!"

"It's fine… the party is more important… so…" he was slowly feeling breathless. Just what was inside the bullet that made him lose his consciousness rapidly?

Having heard him, she snapped. She cupped his cheeks and lifted it upwards to meet her eyes. "You're important to me!"

His eyes bulged in surprise. She whispered, "I can't have you dead..."

He stared blankly at her, seemingly mesmerized. "I know you won't die, but still... you need to be mended properly..."

He could see her tearful eyes, the fragile and soft side of her, her half-lidded eyes, he gazed into it, feeling the worries and attention he thought had gone. As if this time, instead of walking away from him, she stopped and ran towards him. The feeling he was currently feeling, it felt different. This... 'feeling' somehow subtle and light, and warmer than the feel he had felt before. But altogether, it confused him. He reached for her hands and whispered, "…I'm sorry…"

* * *

After Tsuna had arm sling around his shoulder from his medical treatment, both back to the hotel room and Haru called Enma for his absence. At the time, thankfully, Lambo was sleeping due it was his bed time. "That Lambo... all that annoying spout about having fun here, he ended up sleeping." he looked at the sleeping cow with narrowed eyes and wonderment, before he looked at Haru who hung up the phone. "What did Enma-kun say?"

"He'll tell the guests about your absence. Since our ship set sail tomorrow, you should rest."

"I see." he stared at her thoughtfully, recalling the ambush. How he could forget? It didn't make any sense—except it was never sensible to begin with. He brought back that fight into his memory as if he was living it now, the unforgettable feeling when he faced an enemy that stood before him, he caught a glimpse of Haru—who previously had her back on him whirled around with her gun that was pointed at the enemy in front of him. When she shot, it hit the foe, but it penetrated through. His pupil dilated as he felt a sudden pain on his arm.

Without looking at the injury, he knew the bullet hit him. Time as if froze at that moment, everything went on slowly. He could catch every moment, her unnatural look. His eyes widened at her mysterious smirk and for a moment, he could've sworn her eyes were slightly red. As she turned around on him with that smirk, as if it wasn't meant to the foe that was falling down in front of him, but rather to him. He couldn't forget that cold and delighted smirk, it was like a message or sign he needed to decipher.

She stared at him in confusion, knowing he put up a blank stare at her, as if his mind was somewhere else. He was thinking, if she really didn't know, it might not a good idea to reveal she shot him; therefore, he gave another façade smile. "I'm fine, really. And besides, I've got something else to do."

"What's that?"

He stood up, turned on the stereo. Haru sank into the relaxing tune as she heard the orchestra music. She blushed when he offered his movable hand with his smile. "I won't rest until I have this dance."

"Hahi?! But that's just—!" she gasped, immediately closed her mouth with her hands in surprise. She didn't just believe the phrase slipping through her mouth. Tsuna's eyes showed how dumbfounded he was, but moments later, it turned to a wide genuine smile, glad she was Haru after all. He had nothing to worry about, he was certain now. "If you accept my hand, I will rest and pretend you never said that word."

Lies. He couldn't possibly forget about the phrase he had missed so much, the old Haru he yearned. But Haru was absorbed by his words and accepted his hand—although she eventually regretted that as she was fidgeting, having zero skill at it. She could feel the 'feel' of his smile towards her, and felt ashamed she couldn't keep up with him, and couldn't meet her eyes with his, so she kept looking down in embarrassment.

Even with one hand, he managed to hold her close, his embrace was firm. She was stunned and embarrassed altogether. Compared to kissing and such high level of affection he had done to her, this was light and it made her feel safe and undeniably happy. Her flushed face didn't indicate her embarrassment anymore, instead it showed the profound happiness under the blissful time.

She buried her face under his broad chest, feeling his warmth. Plunging into this moment, all negative emotions she used to always feel, being with him, she had nothing to worry about. This was the first and real peace she had ever felt ever since she awoke.

He, too, felt delighted and felt light. Maybe his affection doesn't have to be lustful, maybe this is enough, he thought. He never felt happier being with her, and for unknown reason, he never wanted to let her go. He buried his face under her hair, hiding the pinkness that painted his cheeks, smelling the scent of her hair, the fragrant and soothing smell of hers mixed with shampoo, the distinct essence owned by her only. Ever since they reunited, so far, this was the most comfortable and preferable moment they shared. Both were quietly happy, their lips curved up to a tender smile.

Until Haru's boots stepped onto his foot, he jolted backwards and winced in pain. "Ow! That hurts!" both pulled away from each other.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

He settled onto the bed while holding his stepped foot. From his face, it seemed to hurt a lot. "I'm really sorry, Tsuna-san. I never danced, so…" she trailed off. "…I knew it, I'll always be a burden." she lowered her head dispiritedly.

"N-No, it wasn't your fault. You're not a burden at all."

"But..."

She's doing it again, he thought. He exhaled deeply and beckoned her to sit beside him. After she sat, he dropped his hand on her head, patting her head and touched his forehead with hers. His smile was so reassuring, unknown to her, red tinge brushed her cheeks. "You were cool back then, Haru. You've proven to me you're capable. But if you still feel that way…" he held her hand and led it to put against his wounded arm. "Please think of the moment when you saved me."

It wasn't just her that could put façade of a smile. Memories of her smirk struck his head when he said that, but he didn't want to say anything that could worsen things. He slowly closed his eyelids, but before he knew it…

_Meet the truth…_

Instead of seeing pitch black, he saw the sight any children never wanted, the blood of his own parents, their lifeless bodies as he stood before them. Horrified, overwhelmed, he lifted his hands to see it tainted with blood. His heart and head thumped painfully—as if a reality was forced into his head, his ears were ringing that it made him insane, gripping her head as he fell on his knees. His wide eyes quivered and paled by those sudden coming.

_Fall into despair, Sawada Tsunayoshi…_

He couldn't scream, he was subdued. Rain washed everything, soaking his body and drenched his spiky hair, as if the 'bloody rain' tragedy repeated itself. However, as the rain created a pond of water in front of him, what he saw wasn't him, but someone else standing morbidly, all he saw was the captivating yet soulless half red and brown eyes.

_What would you do now?_

The vision broke, Tsuna hastily peeled away from Haru in horror. He palmed side of his face pale-faced, his eyes seemed not in touch with the world, as if he was consumed by fear, she noticed that. "Tsuna-san…" she approached him while reaching her hand to his face, but when he looked at her, what he saw wasn't Haru, but a woman with Haru's appearance with cold red eyes that sent a sharp glare at him.

Overwhelmed, he grabbed her hand and threw her to the floor forcibly. She winced in pain, she then palmed half of her face upon feeling a sudden headache and her ears started ringing. But what shocked her most was Tsuna's sudden act to throw her off the ground almost brutally. As she mirthlessly looked at the floor, Tsuna eyed on her pale-faced and breathlessly.

A few seconds later, he snapped upon realizing what he just did. He kneeled in front of her in worry. "A-Are you okay, Haru? S-Sorry, I…"

"Sorry to intrude, Tsunayoshi-kun!"

Much to their surprise, Byakuran, Yuni, Enma and Dino entered, with Yuni holding a basket of healthy snacks, Dino with non-alcoholic drinks and Byakuran with his marshmallows, and all came with grin on their face, expect Yuni and Enma's smile were subtle.

"H-How did you get in here?" he quickly stood up in bewilderment. "I'm so sorry to intrude you like this, Sawada-san. We borrowed the keycard to your room from the manager. We want to surprise you and…" when Yuni looked at Haru, she was a surprised, and worried as she approached her. "Haru-san, are you alright? Sawada-san, what happened to her?"

"Ah! I—"

"I tripped," Haru interrupted him and stood up with a smile. "I'm fine, Yuni-chan."

"All right! Since the lady says so, let's begin!" Byakuran dropped himself onto the bed.

"H-Hey! What are you guys doing?!" Tsuna was the only one in myriad confusion seeing everyone immediately settled themselves, even Yuni and Enma. With that, Tsuna approached Enma who was in front of the TV and searching through his bag. "Hey, what's this about?"

"Oh, well, since you can't enjoy the party, we left the party and have a slumber party here instead. We're going to watch few good movies I just bought."

"I-Is that so?" he looked at everyone who already found their each place and created a lively and noisy room; Yuni was showing several healthy snacks to Haru, Dino was preparing the drinks, and Byakuran was eating his precious marshmallows, letting several stacks of marshmallow to lie around the bed.

To add the noise, having the scent of marshmallow Byakuran was eating, Lambo opened his eyes and rose with high spirits. "Lambo-san rises! Give me that marshmallow!" he jumped towards Byakuran and he shared it with him, since he brought many.

Tsuna just held onto his emotion within the ridiculously lively crowd. After being hit by too many events, a racket was the least on his list.

"How are you, little bro?" Dino ruffled his hair while grinning, and seeing that, Tsuna's emotion subdued. Tsuna nodded slightly, beckoning he was alright. As he was going to say something, Dino's phone rang. "Ah, hold that thought. I'll be right back." he walked outside while talking through the phone.

"I'm going to buy something from the pharmacy downstairs." Haru walked to the door.

"Eh? What's wrong, Haru? Are you okay? Is it because of…?"

She knew that guilty look; she shook her head and smiled reassuringly. "I just feel... slightly disoriented—I, I mean dizzy."

Without another word, she left, much to his confusion. But Yuni, she knew. Her eyes were mirthless, knowing what kind of 'disorientation' it could be. Her worries escalated. If only she could come with her, but she had promised Reborn she wouldn't be too close to Haru.

Haru stood still at the counter, staring down blankly. She did buy a medicine, hoping it was just a headache, but her ears wouldn't stop ringing and now, as if the ringing sneaked through her brain. It became worse and more painful. But just as she was going to give the money, she was entirely convinced it wasn't a headache; the vision struck her and her complexion turned pale and her eyes widened at the man in front of her, covered with wounds and blood.

"What's wrong, lady?" the cashier looked behind him, but nothing was there. As he turned around, Haru was already gone, leaving the money on the counter.

She ran and ran along the hallway—or perhaps aimlessly to get out of that vision. She couldn't close her eyes, somehow. As she was running, sometimes, what was a living being in real life, she saw their dead bodies and dilated pupil, and she could hear screams echoed through, piercing her ears painfully. She bumped into a janitor and widened her eyes in horror seeing his eerie face. She shoved him away, dropped the medicine and ran.

If she could, she would shed tears over the fear, but it wasn't that she was scared. It made her insane, her mentality was losing control. She needed to get away from it. She had to. Cold sweat fell through her pallor face as she ran, until she heard a flapping sound. She stopped.

"Hibari! Hibari!" she recognized that high-pitched voice anywhere. Hibird appeared, flying around her, and then went to the garden in the middle of the building. She followed it there until she found Hibari standing in front of a small pond.

At the moment when she looked at him, the vision disappeared, however in exchange, her face blanched as she saw red-eyed Haru raised a black sword behind him. He didn't seem to see. She hastily ran to him and shoved him away, but to her surprise, she was stabbed from her back, causing her eyes to bulge and her mouth sputtered blood.

"I'll never forgive you…" she recognized the voice, slowly turning her head around to see the brunette man narrowing his tearful eyes at her. "You killed my parents…"

"Scary, isn't it?" the red-eyed Haru walked to her. "The vision gets worse, and it produces surreal pain every time your humanity deteriorates…"

"What… do you mean…?

The red-eyed smirked and leaned to her ears.

_You're going to disappear soon_

Haru's brown eyes abruptly open. Seeing Hibari worried looks, being under his arms, feeling the security of finally waking up from her nightmare, her eyes burst in tears. There was a stabbing pain in his chest as he saw her cry. He wasn't the type who could be overrun by emotions, but this time, he embraced her tightly, surprising her, yet also brought a bit ease into her heart. She thought she was strong to deal with all of it, but this time, she returned his embrace, wetting his chest with her tears.

Hibari didn't think much, but he didn't regret. He didn't want to think through behind his action, he didn't care about his own version of logic. He wasn't sure why, but embracing her, letting her to cry under his arms, it made him realize she was everything to him. Having watched through her life as her bodyguard, watching her with Tsuna, he understood at least the fact she became important to him.

He was cold, yet she was warm. He couldn't define what feeling he had for her, but that feeling drove him to act for her. And right now, he wanted to calm her. He wouldn't let go until her tears dried.

One brunette stood as his hand was on a tree, staring at the two rather gloomily. For some reason, it stabbed him, it hurt seeing them together, but Haru looked fragile and she was being herself. There was no denial that Hibari gave a comfort to her. She could cry as much as she wanted to, she was hinted to like being by his side wholeheartedly.

Yet, when around Tsuna, she seemed to always force herself to be with them—and after she lashed out her thoughts, he was convinced she didn't want to be with them. He couldn't interfere. She was protected by Hibari, and Tsuna loved Kyoko. He shouldn't meddle with her personal life, with her relationship. He was no one in her life. If being with Hibari could make her happy, he had to let it go. He had to be happy for her.

But somehow, he couldn't. He couldn't be happy for her. Why did it feel so painful? She was just his friend, but seeing them together brought about heartache, like a feeling of jealousy and betrayal. She didn't betray him. He didn't love her. So, why? It was all so confusing, tearing up his brain and heart.

Tsuna's brown eyes widened in pallor, seeing Hibari cupped her cheek, leaned down, and entwined his lips with hers—to Haru and Tsuna's surprise. His face darkened, his fists were clenched, his teeth gritted. He averted his face away from that unpalatable sight. She did say she didn't want to be with them, he thought. He eventually left with irritation.

The soft kiss didn't end, until Haru had to forcibly push him away. "Hibari-san… I can't…"

"Why? When Sawada Tsunayoshi kissed you, you never pulled away." she flinched and tilted her head upwards to meet his face. "How did you know he…?" asked her.

"I'm your bodyguard, aren't I? I've been watching you from afar without you knowing."

She was silenced. She never thought about it until Hibari brought the topic. She didn't know why she never tried to pull away let alone why she always let him. "I won't wait for an answer." he cupped her cheek and leaned down to her face. This time, she couldn't even squirm; his grip was too tight. His face was only an inch apart.

"…That's… that's because I still love him!"

Hibari, even Haru herself flinched in surprise. She snapped upon realizing what she just said. She barely knew that in truth, she was still in love with Tsuna. She clutched his shirt and buried her face under his chest, and said it soft voice, "…I thought I had stopped, but…" her half-lidded eyes became glassy. "I'm sorry. I just can't stop this feeling."

"If only you said that long ago…" she twitched and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"He saw us. He immediately left after I kissed you."

Without wasting any time, she hurriedly ran to Tsuna. Hibari stood up while rubbing the back of his head in fixation. He gazed at her figure leaving him behind. At one part, he was satisfied to help her realize she couldn't stop loving Tsuna, to at least lighten her burden even if it was the smallest part of the weight, but at another part, he regretted it. He had become too attached to her; he couldn't simply brush it off. It was hard. Haru was a rare girl, and he couldn't find anything like her. He sighed deeply and stared at the ground thoughtfully. "I hate this feeling…"

Haru ran along the first floor, but she couldn't find him. The thought of keeping the distance wasn't in her mind and the time, if it could make things better, she would confess her feelings to him. She went to the tenth floor and ran along hallway, until she found Tsuna and called out to him, but he ignored her.

"It wasn't what it looked like!"

He finally stopped, but didn't turn around. Silence passed through the atmosphere for a moment. "And what about it?" he replied it coldly. "I'm not your friend, aren't I? After all, just like you said, we're just boss-subordinate. I have no rights to interfere with your personal life."

It hurt her, but knew it was true. Up until now, she kept walking to her path not to involve them with her life. All those words she wanted to say to him, when the word 'I love you' almost escaped her mouth, it all vanished. She was almost outrun by her own emotions, even though she knew it would ruin his relationship with Kyoko.

But there was no denying she still loved him. As she realized that, it became more painful. As the Void, it was a taboo to feel love, she had to keep trying… but she couldn't. The reason why she lived this life, living this torture, giving him away to Kyoko, all because she loved him. All the things she had done ever since Tsuna confessed to Kyoko, it was because she loved him too much.

How could she possibly let her feelings go when that was the start line to her goal? If she let it go, she wouldn't be with them, she wouldn't become an arcobaleno, she wouldn't live a dangerous life. She accepted the fact she still loved him, and she decided to keep that feeling alive.

But despite this, she would never ruin his relationship with Kyoko. She was the best for him. Unlike Haru, she wouldn't hurt him. She wouldn't betray him. Haru knew better—she should. She had to stick with her plan.

She chuckled and smiled bitterly. "…That's right. Why did I forget? You're no one to me… why do I have to care? Well, you only need Kyoko-chan to care for you. Both of you will be happy together."

It hurt and snapped him in so many ways having heard that statement coming out of her. He turned around, scurried to her, only to pin her against the wall.

"…Don't speak her name so casually…" his face darkened. "Know this; she wasn't hurt because I left her in Japan… it was because of you… when you disappeared, she was so worried about you. She was in remorse for months. You hurt her, you hurt all of us. If you really don't consider us as friends, why would you care about my happiness? Just leave me alone."

She had never seen him this angry before. Although it was vague, his eyes sent a piercing hatred at her. It shook her, stirring up her emotion. Her head tilted downwards, her eyes were downcast, but she masked it with a meek smile. "…I'm truly sorry… boss…"

"Ah! Tsuna!" Dino ran towards them with an expression Tsuna surely indicated an unwanted event that had occurred. He peeled away from her and focused his attention to Dino. "Yuni and I have packed your and Haru's luggage. You have to go back now."

"Why? What happened?"

"Just now… Ninth was found dead."

Tsuna's eyes bulged in shock. Without further ado, he ran away. "A helicopter should be waiting for you on the rooftop. Go there, Tsuna!" he shouted. Afterwards, he diverted his attention to Haru who was gripping her chest firmly with downcast eyes.

"Haru…" he approached her and tapped her shoulder. "Let's go."

Haru just nodded slightly and walked with him to the rooftop.

* * *

"_You got scolded, huh."_

_Haru turned around to see her hyper mode version standing behind her. Haru was too tired to deal with her, she continued staring blankly at the shimmering sea in front of her. The red-eyed Haru kneeled behind her and placed her hands on Haru's shoulder. "Still, he's a hindrance, isn't he?"_

_Haru raised her eyebrows._

"_Even though he's a Trinisette bearer, he has changed your judgment."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I must admit. I never thought you would realize your feelings sooner, let alone accept it," she closed Haru's eyes with her palm and whispered without her usual wicked smile, "Hey, can you remember what his face looks like? It's a shame his angry face will be the last thing you see."_

_Haru could feel the red-eyed Haru's hands blazed faint black flame. She could tell her other self would do something to her, but she didn't struggle._

"_It's nice you finally notice you still love him… but everything needs 'compensation'. Please don't blame me for what wave that will hit you. After all, all that happens…" she leaned closer to her ears. "…It's all because of your choices that lead you to your own demise."_

…

Haru's eyelids slowly open. She took seconds to process that even if her eyes were wide open, everything was pitch black. Was it night? She wasn't sure, it was so dark. She noticed she was lying on a bed, but didn't know since when and why.

She heard a friction that indicated a door opening. Based on what she heard, at least she knew it was on her right. "Who is it?"

Hibari was rather surprised and confused. She was looking at him, so surely she didn't have to ask. "It's me."

"Hibari-san? Where am I? Why am I on bed? And how long have I been unconscious?"

"You collapsed right after we arrived here. You've been here for almost half a day."

Her eyes widened in shock. A sudden realization just struck her, in one of the most painful way. He didn't bother to ask yet; he walked to the table across the bed and poured tea from teapot. She lifted her body to sitting position, clenched her fists on her lap. Knowing why her vision was black, having to understand the meaning behind 'compensation', it was clearly too much of a shock, as if a switch off button on her brain was pressed.

He walked to her, wanting to give her a tea, but he noticed the oddness in her. Her fists trembled, her eyes peered down to her legs and yet her stare was blank, her face was faintly shaded with paleness; it looked like she was wrecked or deeply shocked.

He sat on the bed, but she seemed to not in touch with reality, her mind was somewhere else. It took him to hold her hand to snap her out. He lifted her hands to make her hold the cup of tea.

"T-Thank you…" she reluctantly sipped the tea. While at it, Hibari evaluated her movement, he was aghast as he noticed the brown color of her eyes lessened, almost vague to be seen by naked eyes. But he noticed it, and truthfully, he didn't want to make sure, but he had no choice. He pointed his V-formed fingers at her eyeballs, but she didn't blink or notice.

"Hibari-san? What are you doing?"

He lowered his hands. "Are you…?"

"Hm?" she tilted her head upwards. The way she looked at him, her eyes that perfectly aimed to his face, it seemed like her vision was sorely fine, no one could tell she was blind. But he knew it wasn't. He cupped her cheek, and despite she couldn't see his worried expression, just feeling his touch, she knew he had found out. She smiled reassuringly at him. "Please don't tell anyone, especially Reborn-chan and Tsuna-san."

"How can you be smiling in times like this? You're not supposed to be so calm."

"I'm only pretending to be calm. Aside that, I don't think acting gloomy or cry will help me face what's ahead of me."

"What happened to your eyesight?"

"This is what happened when I accepted my love for Tsuna-san and… also because I'm rapidly losing my humanity."

"What do you mean?" he didn't like where this was going, more so when her smile turned bitter. He knew what it meant. "Then, why are you still here? If that's the case, leaving the Vongola will be the best decision." he inquired.

She sighed with a smile. "Do you forget why I wanted to become strong? I want to make use of myself and contribute to the family, for once… just once in my life I want to join this world and protect everything he's protecting… and I want to keep doing it before my time ends."

He didn't want to accept that nonsense. Sometimes he wondered why she kept doing this to herself. Did she know she was torturing herself? But he thought, perhaps she couldn't tell the difference between torture and what was not. She lived with unwanted negative emotions she had to endure, horrible visions she had to live by, she lived an agonizing life before she would die.

"…So, not being able to see anymore… you're okay with that?" he questioned and she nodded. "Hibari-san, after the funeral, would you train me for the last time? Don't worry about me. I can rely on my senses."

He didn't give an answer, but that silence was the answer, she had begun to know him. If it were no, he would straightly say no. "If you don't mind, please find me a black walking cane in this mansion."

"Why not white cane for blind people?"

"Do I want to be seen blind, Hibari-san?"

"All right. And then what else?"

"After I change my clothes, please take me to the funeral."

* * *

It was raining when Haru arrived there. She couldn't see, but she could feel presence, and she knew everyone was leaving. The only one who didn't leave was Tsuna, and it was understandable. He hung his head low, gazing at the tombstone while the rain was washing his figure. If only she could see the atmosphere with her own eyes, and not relying on her senses.

She wanted to comfort him, she wanted to approach him, but recalling the previous day, she retracted her intention. He demanded to be left alone, she should obey. His guardians were still there for him, Gokudera covered his head with an umbrella. All were worried for their boss, until they spotted Haru and Hibari.

"You're too late, woman. And what's with that walking cane?" Gokudera said curtly.

"Tsuna, Haru's here." Yamamoto called. But Tsuna didn't respond, nor did he give a slight look at her. Everyone was puzzled, seeing Tsuna's stillness and Haru's downcast and half-lidded eyes. "Um, Haru-chan… did something happen between you and boss?" asked Chrome.

But Haru didn't give an answer, and neither did Tsuna. Silence between the two created an awkward moment for the rest of them. To make Tsuna ignored Haru, they knew it was serious, and it wasn't something they should know or ask.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm too late, aren't I?" all turned around, where they saw an unknown man with a woman who hid behind him.

"Who are you?" Gokudera furrowed his brows.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot. You may not know me personally, but I was Ninth's personal weapon distributor. I'm here to give you my deep condolence, and I'm sorry for your loss, Vongola Decimo."

"Wait, you're Oscar?" Ryohei questioned and the man nodded. "Oh, and I believe you and my lover know each other." Oscar looked at his back, but the woman behind him didn't want to expose herself. "I'm sorry, everyone. She has an abandonment issue. I had to persuade her to come here. She told me you guys left her, so that's why she's like this."

All put up a confused look, not knowing what he meant. The woman shifted a bit, revealing herself a bit.

"Hi, everyone…"

All widened their eyes in shock, including Tsuna who felt familiar of that angelic voice. As the woman finally revealed herself, everyone fell silent, and Tsuna had a bad feeling about the quietness.

"Tsu-kun…"

There was no mistaken, only one living being who called him that. He was afraid to look, but his body turned around outside his own desire. Seeing that large orange eyes and long orange hair, he was overwhelmed and deeply dumbstruck, but more so when he saw the guy named Oscar had his hand on her waist casually.

Haru didn't have to be shocked to see her ex-best friend was there, it only took Kyoko's voice to know. And she shared the same thought as everyone else there: why was Kyoko there?

"Well then, since you abandoned her let me reintroduce her to you. This lovely maiden here is my lover, Sasagawa Kyoko."


	16. The most frustrating way

Hi, everyone ^^

This is a pretty long message, so it's okay not to read it, but I would be grateful if you do :)

I never thought I would get one support let alone more. I always thought I was alone in this, making this story, but after knowing I have people who support me, I feel so happy. Truthfully, I really thought I was alone, and no one would support this story, that I continue it just so that a few years later, I would open this site and think, "This is my old story, how I used to write, and the people that supported this who were really nice to compliment such crappy story. And so, this is how I used to write the storyline? It's been quite a long time." and I would grin on the nostalgic time. I want to feel that kind of feeling if I ever stopped writing fanfics or Tsuharu stories.

And yet, when all of you reviewed and said how you loved it, it made me feel—sorry if it's cheesy—warm inside, and happy. Because I realized, I write not just for myself, but for everyone who loves this story. I can't thank you enough for supporting me. I've been wanting to express how much I appreciate the support and thank you so much for supporting me. I normally don't share my thoughts (it's like an allergic, you could say), but since I've been under pressure and stressed over college and my daily life, I'm at the breaking point where I can't take all of it much longer. I feel I need to share just the small bits of it.

Ah, I almost lost the main point. Well, my point is, I'm sorry for writing this long message, and thank you so much to all who have been supporting me and this story. If I could, I would repay you; I feel just a simple thank you isn't enough. Okay, I'm gonna stop now, too much message.

Everyone, thank you so much! Grazie! Merci! Arigatou! ^^

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights go to their rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XVI**_

* * *

"Tsu-kun…"

Gokudera snapped. "Don't 'Tsu-kun' juudaime! What the hell are you doing with that man?! I thought you and juudaime—"

"Gokudera-kun," Tsuna silenced his right-hand-man. "Shut up." there was an odd subtlety on Tsuna that somehow sent Gokudera chills. Tsuna's face was covered with his bangs as his head was lowered, but when his head lifted, his eyes were narrowed and indifferent, as though he couldn't care less. This wasn't the reaction anyone had anticipated.

But of course, anyone knew better, that deep down, he was at rage, and he was so angry that he didn't scream or even ask Kyoko why. Haru, having to rely on her senses only, feeling the aura he let out, she could tell the situation, his true emotion that couldn't he express anymore. If she were to translate this…

"I have no intention of burdening myself by this sweet betrayal, however, Oscar, right? I appreciate you're coming here despite your lateness." he gave away a professional smile.

She was experiencing a different Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Oscar raised an eyebrow. "Oh? That was unexpected. I thought you were going to lash out your anger at me for stealing your beloved woman."

"Someone who betrayed my trust, whether a kid or a woman, they don't hold the meaning 'beloved', you can have the rotten apple. And besides, she did say I abandoned her, so based on that accusation, she cut her connection with us, and hence she's not a part of us."

Kyoko shuddered; her big round eyes were tearful, moreover to hear him call her 'rotten apple' was far too much for her. Reborn's eyes twitched, noticing the abnormality in Tsuna. "Sawada," Ryohei called. "I understand your feelings, but I don't tolerate you calling my little sister a rotten apple."

"It doesn't matter, onii-san. She's going back soon with Oscar, anyway."

"Nope, we're not," both Tsuna and Kyoko flinched at the surprise. "I'm going to stay at the HQ for a matter. I have to deliver some weapons to CEDEF. You should probably go to the meeting, Decimo. CEDEF leader, Lal Mirch was going to inform this to you, but she's busy."

"Os-kun! You promised me it'll be a short visit!" Kyoko shouted.

"What meeting?" Tsuna raised his eyebrows. Oscar looked at his watch. "The meeting at the CEDEF base will begin shortly. We should go now. My lover can go with your guardians back to HQ." he walked to the car, but stopped as he remembered to answer Tsuna's question. "Oh, it's an internal meeting, regarding the investigation of your parents' homicide."

* * *

As the leader that took Iemitsu's place, Lal explained the party everything about the discovery she had about Tsuna's parents' homicide. He could take into absorption on the part that CEDEF only managed to find one small clue, a witness that unluckily went missing—surprisingly, Mukuro. But he didn't get one thing. He widened his eyes throughout Lal speaking, eyes down to his lap as his clenched fists were trembling. He was having a myriad and heavy shock.

"…Ninth… was killed…?" Lal stopped her explanation as she heard his mumble. Lal was going to explain, but Dino beckoned her to take her place. "Yeah, we're sure of it, Tsuna. According to Ninth's doctor, he had a month to live; he was supposed to die naturally 3 weeks from now. We didn't found any internal or external injury, and we didn't find any indication of toxic in his system. But there's no other assumption than to say, this is a murder, a flawless one."

"…I see." These two words that escaped his mouth had Dino worried. If at normal state, Tsuna would be at quandary and ask why someone would do that to a harmless old man, he would feel the urge to know further what happened to his 'grandpa', but at the moment, Tsuna just simply sat quietly as his head was hung low.

"Whoever killed Ninth might after the Vongola or you. That's why CEDEF asked me to prepare weapons in case anything happens." said Oscar.

"But why are you investigating about my parents' homicide? I heard they were killed by mafia, and that's about it."

"So as it was told by Ninth himself," Lal emphasized. "He informed the case was closed to the public, but there's been an investigation by Vongola's shadow, CEDEF. We all thought it was a mafia's doings—supposedly, but Ninth trusted his intuition. He had a strong feeling, after seeing the brutal murder, it was done by someone who knows you, Sawada. Not to mention, there's a strong probability whoever killed Ninth also killed your parents."

"…Are you saying there's a traitor amongst my acquaintances? Why are you telling this now?"

"Ninth's wish. He wanted you to take over the investigation if he died." Squalo replied.

"You don't have to do this if you can't, Tsuna. It's not easy to investigate your own parents' homicide." said Dino.

"No, I'm in," Tsuna stood up, placing his hands on the desk and leaned his body forward, speaking his resolve with conviction, like a true boss. "I'll do whatever it takes to find out the truth."

"Don't be a hypocrite, scum," Xanxus voiced. "You look like you already know the truth."

Tsuna flinched, couldn't argue back at Xanxus' remark. His eyes locked on his clenched palms, everyone could tell he was distraught. "Stop it, boss," Squalo reprimanded Xanxus. "In any case, Sawada, what would you do if the perpetrator is someone you know?"

"What answer would be fit to mafia's criteria, Squalo?" everyone suddenly stilled at the sudden odd question, moreover they held their breath as Tsuna lifted his face and his sharp gaze pierced everyone, and yet it didn't indicate anger or such, but the calmness was abnormal. He walked away from the meeting from while saying, "Either to forgive or punish, what do you think someone like me would do?"

Squalo furrowed his brows as he looked at Tsuna leaving. "What's gotten into that Sawada, Haneuma?"

"It can't be helped. Ninth was like his only parents, a grandfather."

"VOOIII! That's not what I meant!" he screamed at Dino before continue looking where Tsuna had left. "For a moment, he didn't sound like the soft Sawada Tsunayoshi."

* * *

The Vongola base never stopped to be struck by 'earthquake' ever since they got back. Some were having quite a hard time doing their activities while some others—like Tsuna, ignored it as if it wasn't happening, casually reviewing his work while sipping coffee on his desk. Reborn was astonished how he wasn't bothered by it, despite he might know what cause it.

"Aren't you going to ask what Kyoko is doing now?" to check Tsuna's reaction, he asked. Without looking at Reborn, Tsuna simply answered nonchalantly, "Fine. What is she doing now?"

Silence passed through Reborn for a moment. "Thankfully for her, Chrome is willing to hang out with her. She's with Ryohei, too."

"I can see why. Haru doesn't want to hang out with her let alone us."

"You do know this tremor is caused by her training with Hibari, right?"

"I know."

"You're not worried?"

"No."

Reborn fell silent. All of the questions were answered with the same tone, voice, and stare. Reborn had read his mind, but this sort of demeanor wasn't caused by anger or any negative emotions. This was new. However he decided to cast it aside and instead, went to the training room to check on the progress.

As he stepped his foot inside, he was blown away by the sight of Hibari's wounds while Haru only had minor bruises. Hibari's tonfas were completely destroyed. He fell on his knees while holding his bloody arms and Haru was pointing her black sword at his forehead. Hibari glanced at Reborn before looking at Haru and said, "You've passed."

Haru lowered her sword and offered her hand. But being himself, he refused and stood up on his own effort, which made Haru chuckle upon his stubbornness.

"This is an amazing progress, Haru," Haru looked at where she heard the voice. "You've been training for hours straight, it's already 8 pm, and you're still in good shape."

She blinked. "Eh? It's that late already?"

"But this is an abnormal progress, Haru." Reborn's solemn tone made her flinch. She knew nothing escaped his eyes, she didn't want to be found out if she wasn't just bearing the dusk flame. She scurried over the door with an excuse she wanted to take a bath, but not being able to see the crack on the floor, a 'kyaa!' escaped her mouth as she tripped.

Reborn widened his eyes in puzzlement. That crack was big enough to see, and yet her eyes missed it. She hurriedly stood up and ran away from the room. After he stared at her leaving figure, he stared at Hibari who was picking up his tonfas. "What's wrong with her eyes?" Hibari's action was halted, he was immobilized. "I don't know." he picked up his last tonfa and headed to the door. He left without a word as Reborn kept eyeing on him thoughtfully.

He didn't know what had happened in Mafia Land, but ever since they got back, Tsuna, Haru, and Hibari had been acting strange and reclusive, for some weird reason, the change was more seen on Tsuna. Reborn walked along the hallway heading to Tsuna's office, but what he saw—his judgment about Tsuna became conclusive—on the balcony, the brunette man had his body face the forest with a wine bottle on sight.

Reborn approached him, standing on the railing as he watched his former student drinking the wine from the bottle. "It's not like you to drink."

"Who are you to reprimand me? I can do whatever the hell I want." he continued drinking. Having heard this, Reborn kicked his abdomen, and Tsuna spluttered the drink, holding his stomach while wincing in pain. "What the hell was that for?!"

He punched his face quite hard that Tsuna fell on the floor. He was immediately silenced, his widened eyes that stilled and his breath that was held told Reborn he finally snapped out of it. "What was that? You were like a real mafia boss, not a leader of Vongola."

"…Am I?"

"You even called Kyoko 'rotten apple'." Tsuna flinched at that remark. He remembered he did insult her, but there was only a faint memory of it. But what disturbed him most was to know that he accidentally lost control, and let out his mafia nature. This was what he wanted to avoid, he had begun to lose his senses ever since he saw Hibari and Haru together. He stood up, gripping the railings tightly as his downcast face was looking downwards.

"Why are you avoiding Haru?"

His eyes twitched and held his response for a few moments. "She doesn't want to be near us. To her, we're no one. I should respect that."

But that wasn't the case in Reborn's eyes. The reason Tsuna told him might be true, but somehow, there was more to it, something deeper. "What do you feel about Kyoko?"

Tsuna's eyes widened slightly. He didn't give a reply until a moment later. "She is… I mean, was my sunshine. Her smile was the brightest. She was my one and only sun. She's an untainted delicate flower that everyone wants to protect. But, I don't know… if I should love her now."

"What about Haru?"

"…I don't know."

"You know, you don't need a sun to light up your life. Sometimes the brightest blinds the eyes that you may lose your path. Haru may not be your sun, neither does she have the brightest smile, but her light is sublime enough to give out a warm light and make you happy for a while, right?"

Tsuna's face instantly turned red tomato. "Wha—! Stop peeking what's inside my heart! I don't want to tell you because it would sound obsessive!"

"We'll never know."

Seeing Reborn's grin, Tsuna subsided and continued eyeing on the forest. "At first, I saw her as someone I needed to protect to repay her deeds, but I became so obsessive about her in an intimate way, probably due to my raging hormone. But after I realized that wasn't what she wants, that it was a wrong move, I began to see her differently. This feeling I feel became subtle, light, and nice."

He paused briefly and reached into his pocket to let out her doll. "I want her to be happy. I want her to smile. I hate to see her cry. I want to hold her small hands, embrace her small body, feeling her warmth. I love her smile—although at times it might seem forced—but I would do anything to bring her smile, to make her happy. When she rejected me, there was a part of me that wanted to kill myself."

He let out a frustration sigh. "The thing is, she almost never smiles from her heart, it's like her happiness has been taken away from her. If so, anything that makes her sad... I would destroy all of it," he gripped the doll tightly. "I would gladly cut my own blood vessels if I could bleed out her happiness. That's just… the most frustrating way to feel about her."

Everything went silent. Reborn didn't express any form of reaction. Tsuna grumbled in botheration and scratched the back of his head. "Geez… what are you making me saying?"

"Is it natural?" Tsuna looked at Reborn as a fait 'eh?' escaped his mouth. "Is your feelings for her flows naturally?"

"I… yeah."

"Tsuna… she needs you."

"Huh? Didn't you hear me? She even declared it to me. She doesn't need me."

"Just go to her." as Tsuna wanted to dispute, all the words that were ready to be spoken instantly lost just by seeing Reborn's unfettered eyes. He knew he couldn't argue. Without a word, Tsuna walked away from the balcony.

"Is that enough, Bianchi?"

Bianchi showed herself from hiding behind curtain. She nodded as she approached Reborn. "So, what are your thoughts? You're an expert in this. I can't catch up with the fact that his feelings would develop this quick, nor can I understand if it needs reason to develop that feeling to love."

Having heard that, Bianchi chuckled. "Silly Reborn. You don't need to have a reason sometimes. I'll explain it to you the way you can understand," she paused briefly. "Love is basically illogical, it involves feelings. Emotions and feelings aren't something that can be described or connect with logic. They're like… water that flows, river flow that can't be grasped. Just like me loving you, I love you because of who you are, your existence that defines you as Reborn."

"I get it. But what about the development?"

"Through the experiences they've faced together, through the good and bad times they shared, it's enough to create a new perception about each other, and that happened to Tsuna. This perception can be defined as opinion or how they see each other."

"So, through their moments together, Tsuna is slowly building up a new perspective or feelings about her, but he doesn't realize it, because he still has a feeling for Kyoko… is that correct?" she nodded. Reborn tilted his head down solemnly. She noticed he didn't look pleased at all. She knew Reborn supported Haru's love for Tsuna. "Reborn, what's wrong?"

"Both of them strive for each other's happiness. He would even cut his own blood vessels if it could give away her happiness, he who hates killing would destroy anything that makes her sad. And Haru…" he lowered his voice. "She's willing to be tortured every day for the world he's protecting, for his sake alone."

"What do you mean? Is there something about Haru you're not telling me?"

"Sorry, Bianchi. You, of all people shouldn't know about this. I can't let you take the heavy burden of knowing this."

~#~

The 24 year-old boss was walking, eyes were forward, but there was confusion that overran his mind. Haru? Needed him? He knew she didn't lie when she rejected him, but Reborn was never wrong. As much as Tsuna wanted to not go with him, Reborn might be true. But if he saw her, what would he say? He had been ignoring her, they hadn't talked ever since they got back from Mafia Land. It would feel awkward. There he was, her door was on his sight.

"Tsu-kun," a hand clung to his shirt, halted his steps. He looked back to see Kyoko with frilly sleeping wear. "Could you… come with me for a while?"

He looked at Haru's door briefly in puzzlement, but Kyoko looked so distressed. He chose to follow her to her guest room. She crawled onto the bed, and lay, and patted the empty space beside her, beckoning him to go there. He did what she wanted and sat, straightened out his legs on the bed. He noticed she was staring at him. Those round eyes that used to captivate him—only now, seeing it hurt him, but as a man, he couldn't afford to show his emotion. He kept his expression straight.

"Why did you want to go to Haru-chan?"

"…Eh?"

"You shouldn't go, it will hurt you. Now… Haru-chan seems scary, she always looks so serious. Please don't go. She doesn't want us… she doesn't want me."

"…I can't stay here. She needs me."

"How would you know that?" he flinched. "I need you here, not her. I need you to accompany me until I fall asleep. You're not going to leave me again, are you?"

He lost for words. There was a truth in her words. How could he possibly know Haru needed him? Even if Reborn said it, it didn't mean it was true. Moreover, Kyoko's eyes were mirthless and glassy; he didn't want to see that. She seemed lost and needed someone, and since Oscar was busy, she was alone.

"Tsu-kun, are you mad… or jealous I'm going out with Oscar?" this shouldn't-have-been-said question twitched him and annoyed him. He knew she could be insensitive, but this was too far. "Who doesn't get mad?" he countered, trying to hold his anger greatly. He could feel his blood vessels boiled, he would lash out his mafia boss nature. If he continued to hear her, he would explode.

"This is absurd. I'm going to Haru." he headed for the door, but Kyoko immediately hugged his back. He stilled, her embrace grew tight. "…Don't go. I still… love you."

He was sick of the uncertainty. He had it already from Haru, and now Kyoko. He snapped and elbowed her hard that she fell on the floor. It was unnerving—as Tsuna turned around and approached her, his dagger stare and darkened face made her shudder in fear and she dragged her body backwards until she hit the bed.

"…You betrayed me," Tsuna gripped her shoulder. "If you love me, why are you dating that guy?! Explain!"

"Tsu-kun…"

"How could you do this to me?! I was just trying to protect you, I love you, and this is what I get from you?!"

"…You left me."

"Left you? I protect you!"

"You abandoned me! All I want is to be needed, but that didn't happen with you!" she shouted. "…I thought you understand me… I was lonely… I need someone to need me. I met Oscar who needs me to be by his side, and I do love him, but Tsu-kun… I can't stop loving you."

"So, to fulfill your wish, you date him while you still love me, and by doing so you betrayed both me and him, is that what you're saying? Because I don't understand you anymore, Kyoko-chan."

"But I never betrayed anyone."

"Stop being so naïve! How long are you going to stick with your delusional belief?! I don't know why you're doing this, and I don't care anymore! Leave me out of your damn business!"

"But…" she started shedding tears. The sight of her tears snapped him out of his insanity and brought him back to reality. She was trembling, she was holding her tears, but failed. Knowing he had frightened her, he embraced her. "…I'm so sorry. Can you stand?"

She shook her head. Thus, he carried her and put her on the bed. He went back to sit on the bed in the same position and looked at her. "I'm sorry for not being able to know what you want. And sorry to let you see that side of me."

"I'm sorry, too. But I never saw you like that before. I don't know much about mafia, but for a moment, you resembled a true Mafioso. You gave out… fear."

"…Yeah. This is what I've really become, but I never showed it anyone because I don't want them to know my soul has been purged into a real mafia boss who can rule through fear. Of all people, I showed it to you and Haru… when I should've known both of you are easy to shaken."

"I don't think Haru-chan is as scared as me."

"Why? I remember her face, she was frightened—like shocked."

"But she didn't cry like me, right? I told you, Tsu-kun. She doesn't see us as friends anymore. She's far scarier than you. I keep getting this feeling she would hurt me if she wants to."

"That's not a nice thing to say about your best friend."

"We're not friends anymore. She herself cut that bond between us. Also, I don't think she's the Haru-chan I know. Every time I look at her, the more I feel weird about her. Why are you defending her? She rejected you, rejected us."

"Well, I…" he trailed off. Truthfully, he couldn't find an excuse. She held his hand, in an attempt to give him comfort. "Tsu-kun, it's up to you whether you want to believe me or not, but I spoke to her earlier. I wanted to talk to her, I did promise her I would be her friends no matter who she is…" she paused briefly. "But she ignored me. She didn't even meet her eyes with mine, I don't know why. She only said she didn't want to talk to someone who betrayed her boss."

"'Boss'…? Did she really address me that?" Kyoko nodded. "On top of that, she only smiled when Hibari-kun is around. He's been with her almost the entire day, even when she wanted to go to a bathroom, he walked her there and waited outside. Those two are inseparable. She probably needs Hibari-kun only."

"…I see."

"So? Please promise me you won't try to talk things through with her. I don't want you to get hurt… by my…" she wanted to say 'best friend', but it felt really heavy. Tears shed, and he wiped the tears. "Stop it. I know it hurts to be rejected by her, and it hurts me too. Just forget about that pain and go to sleep."

She nodded and closed her eyes. She looked at her face thoughtfully before staring down to his legs, thinking of her version of stories. He didn't believe it entirely. He could sense delusions in her story. She's really too gullible and innocent for this dark world, he thought. But even so, Haru already had Hibari. Tsuna wouldn't try to get close to her anymore. Regardless whatever reason there might be, he would keep complying with Haru's wish, that they were just boss and guardian.

But the feelings that just developed in his heart gave him confusion and uncertainty, and yet when he thought to try to understand it—even if that thought only appeared a moment, it could tear his sanity into pieces. "…I don't… want to dig through this unknown feeling. Why is it so… scary?"

* * *

The sun had risen, Ryohei and Yamamoto were jogging around the mansion while chatting, the bright sunlight that breached through the curtain hit Tsuna's eyelids. He slowly opened his eyes, and when he was half awake, he noticed he had been sleeping in sitting position with Kyoko beside him. He must've fallen asleep, he thought.

He left the room, heading towards his own room groggily. In an instant, he had his spirit completely wide awake, seeing what unexpectedness he was seeing. The girl he thought wanted to avoid everyone was sitting, leaning her back against the wall beside the door, seemingly sleeping peacefully while hugging an album.

He approached her, squatted, took the album gingerly. He looked into it; it was Ninth's album that was sent by Iemitsu contained Tsuna's growth ever since he was born. Most of the pictures had his dame side shown—all to laugh about. He wondered why Haru had it.

"She's been here for almost 10 hours," he looked back to see Reborn with Lal. "I gave it to her. She thinks you're in pain after knowing about Kyoko. She wants to comfort you. She doesn't know how, so that's the only thing she could think of. She believes looking at your no-good childhood and parents would cheer you up."

Tsuna was dumbstruck and mesmerized. He looked at the album. "But why? She told me she didn't want to associate herself with us, and we're not friends anymore."

"That doesn't mean she can stop worrying about you, right?"

Tsuna couldn't argue with Reborn's statement. He wasn't wrong, but Tsuna couldn't absorb why she would do it for him. Musing over it wouldn't make a good use, he knew. With that, he carried her bridal-style. "Sawada," Lal called. "Get ready in 15 minutes. We're going to Mafia Land for an investigation. We ought to find Rokudo Mukuro while at it."

Tsuna nodded and entered his room. Reborn gazed at Haru's sleeping face as she was being taken inside, remembering when Haru asked him for the album.

…

"_What do you wish?_"

_Haru stopped, facing the door as she embraced the album tightly._

"_Ever since I gave you that gun, when you spoke your resolve, you didn't look like you have a wish, even now. I don't mean your wish that's meant for others. I'm asking you, what do you truly want for yourself?"_

"…_I want to stay away from them. I want to protect everyone, and by staying away from them, I will accomplish that."_

_Reborn fell silent. "Haru, tell me what you really want." Haru turned around, looked at him wide-eyed. "It's okay to be selfish. You've been enduring your heavy burden alone. You can't live with only looking out for other's needs without looking out your own. Truthfully, despite all that talk about keeping the distance, you actually want the opposite, don't you?" Haru didn't give an answer, but had her back facing him. "You're lonely, aren't you?" she hugged the album tighter._

"_...I'm not."_

_**I am…**_

"_I'm okay with solitude."_

_**I hate it…**_

"_I love being alone."_

_**No, I'm not…**_

"_I just want for him to be happy. I want to protect everything that matters to him. I want to keep his happiness safe…"_

_Reborn sighed. "In the end, you still wish for him. Really, Haru, you're hopeless." she just smiled bitterly. "Why do you go that far for him?"_

"_You're supposed to know the answer, Reborn-chan. I love him. That's the only reason why I'm here being someone I'm not. Enduring the pain, bearing the heavy burden, if it's for his sake, I don't mind if I have to be tortured every day. I missed this feeling, you know."_

"_You're only killing yourself."_

…_**I'll be dead soon, Reborn-chan.**_

_She turned around and gave away the most fake sincere smile. "I'll be fine. Please, Reborn-chan, you keep reprimanding me about what I do. I'm not a kid anymore. I can assure you everything's going to be alright."_

_Reborn just stared at her solemnly as quietness ran around their atmosphere. She walked to the door. "…Besides, it's not like I can be with him forever."_

…

Tsuna put her on his bed gingerly. He stared at her for few moments until he sat on the bed and caressed her cheek. "Just when I thought you didn't care about us… seriously, Haru. Who are you, really?"

After having the moment, he got out of the room, closing the door gently so she wouldn't wake up. "I know you're there. Show yourself, Hibari-san."

Hibari appeared from the wall few meters away.

"I'm going to Mafia Land. Please protect her."

"What's with the sudden compliance? I thought you don't like the fact I become her bodyguard."

"As the boss, I can only act as decision-maker, not the doer. I'll go whatever that's best for her, even if I'm not a part of it. Clearly you're the best for her, right? You better be… or I'll send you back to Namimori."


	17. The forsaken memory

**Forgive me if there's any grammar mistake or spelling error. I don't bother myself to recheck since I'm busy.**

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. All rights go to their rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XVII**_

* * *

"Why are you spacing out in the morning?"

Checkerface—or Kawahira snapped. On the screen in front of him, Bermuda looked somewhat annoyed. "We were talking about the recent activities of the dusk flame."

"Sorry… what were you saying?"

"I ask your opinion about assaulting Miura Haru if the situation becomes worse."

"Even if I don't give you the permission, you would still do it."

"Hm? Did I hear it right? What is it with you and Miura Haru? I don't think she's a mere vessel to you."

Kawahira furrowed. He took off his mask, aka the Checkerface costume and glared at Bermuda. "Don't make sick jokes with me. If you get my message, then _don't _attack Miura Haru. Let the Vongola handle it. I'm done talking to you." he cut off the transmission. Wonomichi looked at him in concern. Kawahira took of his hat, hung it above, and he tilted his head to look at the hat. While his head tilted upwards, he put the hat on his forehead, covering his eyes upwards and laid back against his chair. "Hey, Wonomichi," Wonomichi shifted upon being called. "I wonder… is this how it feels to have a daughter again?"

* * *

In the early morning, birds were chirping, giving out melody of harmony that soothed people.

But Yuni was worried.

She didn't feel soothed. She couldn't forget her recent dream. The horrible, when the brunette girl stabbed her best friend, pointed her sword against another brunette, slashes, screams, blood, all connected to the girl with deadpan red eyes and black flame on her forehead, as Yuni met her, everything started to become painful, she could see everyone were killed one by one, stabbed, beheaded, soulless.

"Princess," Gamma's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "He's on the line." he gave her phone.

"Uncle…"

"You had another vision, didn't you?" she nodded. "…It's getting horrible. I tried looking into Haru-san's heart, but… when I… it felt like I was slowly being tortured just by looking at those red eyes."

"What is your assumption?"

"It's not an assumption, but I'm sure. Haru-san's humanity deteriorates rapidly. She's… dying."

"…I see. Have you asked Verde about Nero Oscura?"

"I have, but Nero Oscura isn't Nero Oscura."

"What do you mean?"

"I searched about that name, but uncle… Nero Oscura is a 90 year-old man. And he's passed away 8 years ago."

"What? Are you sure? What did Verde say?"

"He said he doesn't know Nero Oscura, but he once had a pupil, his name is Frode. You know about him, don't you?"

"Frode, you say? He was Vindice's prisoner. He has golden blonde hair and emerald eyes. He's a sociopath and the only living being who escaped the prison alone, without any help. He's made a name throughout mafia organization. He's a dangerous person, managed to manipulate influenced people in mafia and almost made them obliterate mafia until he was caught. He's like Mukuro, but his sociopathic nature made him able to manipulate anything. So, the Nero Oscura I met was Frode?"

"You should be wary of him, uncle. Has he shown himself recently?"

"If he sticks to his promise, he'll always be here, but he only came here once. I have a bad feeling why."

"Be careful."

"Don't worry, he's a meticulous man. He won't show himself. He may have the answer to stop Haru's humanity from disappearing. I'll ask for help from a certain group. Meanwhile, be on guard, Yuni. Thanks for the information." he hung up the phone.

~#~

In Varia's lounge, the former sun arcobaleno explained everything he knew to the members of Varia, asking them to run a secret investigation about Frode and find them. "I know you may not do the job, since the Vongola boss himself doesn't know about this."

All members smirked. "VOOOIIII! Damn right we won't! We're an assassination squad!" the shark screamed. "But we have a personal business with that Frode trash."

"Shishishi, right, after he manipulated the strategist captain here."

"You were on the same boat as me, stupid prince! All of you are!" he grabbed his collar. Fran raised a hand. "But captain, whether the decision is to do or not, it's up to the boss." he stated lazily. "No one asked your opinion, stupid frog." Bel threw his knifes at Fran's back, but as usual, he was unmoved and threw it down the floor.

"Tch. Don't throw it away."

"You're right, Fran," Reborn blew up the ceiling, creating a hole to Xanxus' place and jumped there. "Oi, you heard us from Squalo's earpiece, didn't you? Make a call."

Xanxus pointed his guns at Reborn, he returned the favor back. Both stood while pointing guns at each other for a while. "Frode, huh," Xanxus lowered the guns. "I've got this package to deliver to that scum." he blew up the roof. "You can kill him, after I interrogate him." Reborn jumped down to the lounge and exited.

~#~

"We will infiltrate an enemy's base," all widened their eyes dumbfounded. "Yesterday night I was with the investigation team and we found an underground base in Mafia Land. I haven't confirmed what family, but for sure, they're enemies. They can endanger the lives of everyone who visit Mafia Land."

"But this investigation is led by Lal. Have you had her permission?" asked Ryohei.

"Yeah. CEDEF unit is already standby there. Think of it like when we infiltrated Merone base, but this time without sneaking through. Our mission is to drive them away by force, but make it no death."

"Do I have to come, Vongola?" asked Lambo.

Tsuna chuckled. "Of course not. But I want you to standby outside with the rest of CEDEF."

"Is it just because of infiltration?" Yamamoto asked.

Tsuna fell silent for a moment. "This family may be the killer of my parents. Also…" he looked at Chrome. "We might find Mukuro there." Chrome flinched. Tsuna cleared his throat. "We'll divide into two groups. Gokudera-kun and I will head straight on finding the boss while the rest clear out any enemies as many as you can."

"Can I go with you instead, Tsuna-san?" everyone looked at Haru. "Oi, this is my job as juudaime's—" Tsuna raised his hand to silence Gokudera. "Why?" he asked. "I just want to confirm something. For that, I have to meet with the boss." she answered.

"…All right."

* * *

Several of CEDEF's men had already assembled around the cave, the entrance to the supposed-base. Lal Mirch, who was also standby tilted her head upwards as she heard a sound of helicopter. The hovercraft landed steadily on a wide grass field in front of them; she walked towards it as the Vongola exited one by one, leaving Tsuna the last to get out.

"You're late, Sawada." she commented. She beckoned Basil to step forward with a briefcase on his hand. He opened it and Lal took one of mobile devices. "You should recognize this device, right? It's not different from when you infiltrated Merone Base 10 years ago."

Everyone took the devices from the case and Lal handed the one she held to Tsuna. All of the guardians, except for Lambo, Tsuna, and Haru scurried inside the entrance. "Be careful, everyone!" Tsuna shouted. Exclude Hibari, they gave off smile and Yamamoto his thumb up before entering the base. Tsuna and Haru glanced at each other and gave conforming nod.

Just as they were about to enter, Lal grabbed Haru's wrist, halted her steps. She gave an intent stare at Haru, resulting Tsuna and her to stare at Lal wide-eyed and confusion. None of them knew she was inspecting Haru's eyes. Yes, those brown eyes seemed to shade—almost invisible to the naked eye. To think she survived with that sight without looking troubled or broken, it almost amazed Lal, but the kind of perspective she had wasn't amazed as a whole, nor is it wonderment.

Haru's eyes grew wider, having a nostalgic feeling to the hand that was grabbing her wrist. In a split second, she could hear familiar voice in her head.

.

"_Why are you putting that face?"_

"…_Tsuna…-san?"_

"_What are you hiding from me?"_

_._

"_You can still choose to run away."_

"_Although this isn't the life I've always wanted, I'm already happy with the way things are."_

_._

"_It has been my mistake, to disguise as an old lady… and I met you, the worthy vessel. You're the only living human who's able to plunge me into human emotion. This isn't my nature, for me to care about a vessel… this shouldn't have happened. But, you… through the wrinkly skin of an old lady I watched you… with a purpose to evaluate whether you'd become a perfect vessel… I think I know how Sephira felt now. Miura Haru… is it wrong to think of you as a daughter?"_

_._

She forcibly pulled her hand away, much to Lal's surprise. Haru's face was rather pallor and her pupils dilated as if in shock. But she quickly recovered by putting up a fake smile. "We'll be going now, Lal-san, Lambo-chan." she and Tsuna entered the cave.

The interior was almost like a maze. If it weren't for the map, they would be lost by now. As they were sneaking through, the two often heard explosions. When Haru inspected the surroundings behind the wall they were hiding, he stared at Haru thoughtfully. It wasn't like he knew why he stared at her, and not like he had a reason, but ever since Reborn made him say his thought about her, he couldn't stop thinking about her. It shouldn't be like this, he convinced himself that. He should focus on protecting Haru from mafia instead of having this unknown and terrible feeling for her. He couldn't even tell if it was nice or not, since it kept him fixated on this.

"We can go forward." Haru's voice snapped him out of his thought. They ran through the empty hallway, and as they were running, Haru stared at him from his back. She wondered if he already felt alright after knowing about Kyoko. She couldn't help but to worry. She couldn't see his face anymore. She couldn't see his smile anymore. Sometimes, she wanted him to know she was blind, but she already had a thought of what his reaction would be. _He probably doesn't care_, she thought. Moreover, she didn't want him to bear the burden of knowing that—if he felt bad, that is. She just had to live this life, until she died.

She snapped upon remembering something. She stopped near heavy metal pipes. Noticed she stopped, he also stopped and turned around. "Haru?"

"…I'm sorry I've failed you." was a simple sentence that confused him. "I…wasn't good enough."

"What?"

"Well, I… I just do what I feel truly right… but if this 'right' will endanger everyone… Tsuna-san, please ki—"

.

"_I won't burden him with the weight of my life."_

_._

Her eyes bulged in surprise. She was cut off. Her head thumped painfully when she heard her own voice in her head. The silent pain kept ringing inside her head and ears. Her head hurt, more than ever—as if something was forcing itself to penetrate her mind—or rather collecting fragments to be shown in her head. Nevertheless, it was excruciating, torturing. She winced and murmured in pain, her eyes shut close and she fell on her two knees.

"Haru, are you okay?" worriedly, he approached her, but halted by black flame that combusted around her body. The flame was intense as it was wild, but the current wildness was more to sadness, as if the wild black flame was crying. The flame kept on intensifying, he couldn't get to her. He covered his face from the gust of flame that constantly blew towards him, but as he peeked a little, he spotted the flame hit the metal pipe, and he widened his eyes in horror to watch it was falling to Haru.

"Haru!"

Haru flinched, her eyes abruptly wide-open. Despite she was blind, she caugt few glimpse of images. She and Tsuna. The park and Kawahira. Tsuna's body on ground. Kawahira's hand on her head… and her last words to him.

.

"_Thank you for this chance."_

.

Without her realizing it, she felt a stinging pain around her body. She couldn't tell the situation, but she knew some things: her head was bleeding, her torso was bleeding, bone cracks were felt. She tried to open her eyes as best she could, but her consciousness began to fade. She couldn't get out of the pipe that was on her back. Tsuna went into hyper mode and tried lifting the pipe.

She widened her eyes in surprise. He helped her? She didn't know if she should feel happy or sad, her eyes turned half-lidded. He should be heading towards the boss, he shouldn't bother to save her, she kept thinking that. All of the sudden, she sensed a presence behind him. Not a friendly one, for sure. "Tsuna-san, behind you!"

He immediately shifted around and instantly grabbed a naginata while his one hand holding the pipe. He was shocked, seeing the face that attacked him, that white hair and golden eyes. He knew, it was the boss. But while doing so, his one arm couldn't withstand the pipe. It fell on her again, but Tsuna's arm acted as a cushion. "AAAHHH!" he screamed in pain. His eyes shut closed and winced in pain. He lowered his body, kneeling down while holding both pipe and weapon.

The boss was going to swing his naginata at him again, but he wouldn't give up on her. With his one arm and willpower, he tossed the pipe away and swiftly grabbed the naginata blade. She couldn't move, she tried. Her legs were also injured and her ribs were broken. She could feel she was having an internal bleeding. She tried to stand up, but couldn't. Tsuna managed to pin him against the wall across her, the naginata was few meters away from its owner, but the white-haired man gave an unsettling smile, Tsuna flinched upon seeing it. Hearing a mechanical sound, Tsuna looked up. Above his head appeared a hole and that hole was charging a flame.

His eyes grew wide over knowing the worst outcome; he glanced at Haru, who was too vulnerable to get out of there. The flame was being condensed into an explosive-material kind; this was a ticking bomb, at any time Haru would die. "Don't… worry about me… I'll be fine…" she said breathlessly. With agape mouth, perplexed and agitated face, he looked at Haru's fragile state who was trying to stand up many times. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't let him get away.

He looked up again, the flame was discharged, without thinking through, he let his grip go and rushed to her side. She could sense the explosive was discharged; all she could do was close her eyes. Seconds passed, but she wondered why she wasn't hit. She sensed the flame wasn't dead yet, so why?

"_**You want your eyesight back, my other self? I'll let you see what's in front of you right now."**_

Haru's eyes bulged open. She was shocked, she was able to see again. She didn't see the pitch black unlike before. But when she tilted her head upwards, her face paled in horror. Her eyes widened. No scream or words could escape her mouth, she was far too shocked. Her mouth wasn't even slightly opened; it didn't create a gap over shock. She was able to see again, but what she first saw was what she feared in her life. She was granted with her eyesight back, just to see the man she loved shielded her, hurting.

And in an instant, her sight turned black again.

The never-ending blow would kill him if she didn't act. Out of adrenaline, she rose up and tackled him down to the floor sideways to save him from the beam. She fell on top of his body and the beam stopped. She immediately rose up and held his wounded body. Tsuna slowly opened his eyes. Although it was unclear, he noticed her worried look.

"Run…"

"How can you expect me to run?!"

"You should probably hear your boss, girl. We don't allow survivors." the hole started charging another flame, and this time, it was much on grander scale and deadlier. Even Tsuna could see the shine of the charged flame from the wall. It was so bright and dangerous. As he wanted to tell her to leave him behind, when his mouth was ready to say the words, much to his surprise, she held him closer.

"…Haru… what are you…?"

She took his hand and firmly held it. A bried look up, he could see her tearful eyes aimed towards him. "…I'll never let you go. If we were to die here, at least… I could die with you."

He was mesmerized. At the moment, unsure why, all he thought about wasn't dying—not even crossing his mind. He didn't see afterlife or death, but he saw her. All he thought was her. He responded to her feelings. He tightened his grip on her hand and both closed their eyes.

The boss watched the whole scene thoughtfully with narrowed eyes. As he raised his hand, the flame stopped charging and the weapon withdrew. He approached them and pointed a gun at her.

_**BANG!**_

Tsuna's eyes bulged open having heard the gunshot. Blood splattered to his face, his eyes widened in pallor to see Haru fell with blood on the side of her neck. "Haru!" he rose up and wanted to reach her, but the enemy preceded him, carrying her bridal-style. He watched as Haru was being taken away from him. He wouldn't let that. He tried so hard to stand up, but only to collapse.

His consciousness was rapidly fading away, he couldn't move an inch. His vision was blurry, he looked at the enemy was walking away from him with Haru. He crawled—with his trembling body, he forcibly dragged his body forward to catch them. But as seconds had passed, he became weaker, even to open his eyes.

* * *

_Every time you shed tears_

_My soul, my heart trembled like a child_

_Every time I looked at your face_

_You killed me a hundred times_

_I harbor all the old affection you used to give me_

_Sometimes you seem alive, sometimes you seem dead_

_Please, God…_

_What have I been missing?_

_Please help me make everything return to the way they used to_

_Please give me insights that I may have forgotten._

…

_The images moved like a slide show, giving glimpse and yet as if those images were broken. The pace was fast, all that was clear was two people fell into the river in order. It was 10 years ago._

_Haru's concerned face while drenched in wet._

_The park and she hung out on the swing, talking to someone in front of her, a man with checkered face, her sad look._

_All of it moved on a very quick pace and disappeared in black, as if the entire glimpse of memories were an answer to his prayer, fragments of a shattered memory. But the last fragment was clear and not quick, as if it was the most things he should remember._

_They were at the park, hanging out on the swing while Haru was holding seemingly a trophy with her bright smile. "Thank you for watching the competition, Tsuna-san!"_

"_Well, it's not just me, everyone was there, too. You're really good at this gymnastic stuff, aren't you? You're not as clumsy as I thought."_

"_Hahi?! How mean! Haru's perfectly athletic! Haru can even learn how to fight! Besides, Haru thought you didn't want to see me."_

"_Well, I feel at fault for yesterday. I jumped to the river to save you, even when I can't swim, and you had to bother to save me for my stupidity, so it was the least I could do." he paused. "By the way, what do you want?"_

"_Eh?"_

"_You're the winner. Maybe there's something you want?"_

"_Hmm… if Haru wants a grand piano, would you buy it?"_

"_Eehh?! Not too expensive!"_

_She chuckled. "Maybe… there's this one thing…"_

"_What is it?"_

"_Flower field," she replied. "Haru's always wanted to see a field pack with beautiful flowers. It's every girl's dream, actually, but it would be wonderful if you could show it to Haru, Tsuna-san."_

_Having heard that, he narrowed his eyes in wonderment. "You're kidding me, right?"_

"_Hahi?! But—"_

"_All right, then."_

"_Eh?"_

"_Maybe one day, I can give it to you. But that'll have to wait for years. Will you wait until then, Haru?"_

_Her eyes widened. "…Is that a promise?"_

"_Yeah, it's a promise."_

_Having heard that, she stood up. Tsuna noticed the smile on her face turned odd. "Thanks. Well then, I'll be heading—" just as she was about to walk away, Tsuna grabbed her wrist. She froze with her eyes widened at him. "Haru… you just… referred yourself as first person." she didn't respond. "Why are you putting that face?"_

"…_Tsuna…-san?"_

"_What are you hiding from me?"_

"…_Eh?"_

"_Don't give me that innocent look. Seeing you now made me realize about the competition. You weren't being yourself. You looked solemn. Moreover, yesterday night I saw you, with Checkerface in this park. Why was he with you?"_

"…_I don't know what you're talking about." hearing this, he snapped and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her closer. "You were with the most unpredictable and dangerous man, but he seemed to know you well."_

"_He's not dangerous. Kawahira-san is just doing what he believes is right for the world."_

"_So, you do know him. What are you hiding, Haru?"_

"_I'm not hiding anything."_

"_You can't fool me! I can see through your lies ever since we came to the future! Why are you being so persistent?! I'm trying to save you!"_

"_I don't want you to save me! If I tell you, I won't be able to save you!"_

"…_What?"_

_She snapped, realized her mistake. She shouldn't have said that, she thought. All of the sudden, she heard a sound of thump and Tsuna collapsed. Haru looked up to see Kawahira who sharply eyed on her. "T-Thank you…"_

"_Sawada Tsunayoshi's hyper intuition has evolved. You can't lie in front of him anymore. Once he took notice your lies, you won't be able to fool him. I've told you that yesterday, didn't I? You were reckless."_

"_...I'm sorry. But that means we can perform 'that'."_

_He twitched. "Are you sure?" he questioned. Haru nodded. "Ever since the arcobaleno system was resolved, I've got glimpse… or memories of what I really am… my existence is just a vessel. I'm a product of backup plan if this world can't be saved. Tsuna-san realized I've been acting weird. But someone who got a terrible truth about who they are will never be the same. They would change, even me."_

"_But it's fine if he knows. In fact, won't you feel assured? Knowing him, I think he would want to share the burden with you, even with just the knowledge of it." _

"_I won't burden him with the weight of my life. Can we finish this chat? I need you to perform 'it' right now."_

"_Why do you want your memories of the truth to be erased that badly? It won't affect anything."_

"_It sorely will. If I maintain this memory, I won't be able to act cheery. I can't let him know."_

"_I see. If you say so." he outstretched his arm to her head, but seconds passed, she waited but he hadn't done anything. He just stood quietly while staring at her thoughtfully. He lowered his hand. "You're just a 14 year-old girl. You can still choose to run away."_

_She stood up. "I don't want to run away! You don't know how much I want to back down. Although this is not a life I've always wanted, I'm currently happy with the way things are. To throw it away… is something I never thought of. But I choose to live with this fate isn't solely because to save the entire humanity. I just want a second chance to do something great for him. This is my ticket."_

"_So, you still want to ride the train, then." she nodded and glanced at Tsuna. "As much as I'm scared, I don't know if I still am years ahead. I'm sorry to trouble you. To ask you to act manipulative and deceit like that…"_

"_Our plan is flawless, I see no reason to back down, but you have a reason. You have a life. You may start sooner than you think."_

"_Kawahira-san… are you thinking I'm a noble girl? You see, this is the boy who introduced me to a new world, a place where I meet Kyoko-chan and everyone. Everything I've achieved… all the things that belong to me… I would trade it for a chance to repay him. This is just self-satisfaction, a humanistic egoism that I have. I would... do anything… anything to make him happy. I'm nowhere near noble. I'm just a girl who's helplessly in love and ready to give up everything for him."_

_She paused for few moments. "This is for the world you're protecting. One sacrifice is just a pebble compared to endangering the world, isn't that the principle you always hold onto? If not, why did you keep evaluating me despite you already had your arcobaleno system? You're a meticulous, detailed, and well-planned man. You're cunning in everyone's eyes, but me. I think we can perform the plan well if you erase my memory and keep being 'yourself' in front of everyone, even to Wonomichi-san." _

"_Are you that lonely?"_

"_Eh?"_

"_You keep babbling about how you did it for him, everything's for him, you're not noble. To be frank, all I see from you is a lonely girl who pretends to be strong. I ask you, do you really want this?"_

"_It's not like I have a choice, do I?" he fell silent at the remark. It made sense. It was her fate, an inevitable one. "Or… Kawahira-san, are you worried about me?"_

_He twitched, but he maintained his emotion. "It's true you're the closest human to me, and I once married and had a daughter, but that was a long time ago. I just don't want you to have uncertainty." _

"_Don't worry! I'm fully sure!" she chirped. But he knew, she was pretending to be cheerful. "Also…" she glanced at Tsuna. "Please erase his memories about this, too, including about the flower field part."_

_He could understand why she wanted Tsuna's memories about this night was erased, but why about the flower field? He didn't bother to ask. At that moment, he wished she would want to run away. To him, she was a pitiful chosen one, but he couldn't stop feeling uneasy. It felt like a father who asked his daughter to reconsider to pick a life that would destroy her._

_She noticed he was staring at her rather musingly, but didn't give a respond. Instead, she kneeled down and looked up at him with conviction and deadpan face. She wouldn't back down. She waited. He outstretched his hand to her face. His eyes widened, seeing the most bitter yet brightest smile that curved on her lips._

"_Thank you for this chance."_

…

Tsuna slowly opened his brown eyes, but only to find himself in an unknown wide room. He knew it was big, just by looking at the ceiling that was very distant from his spot. "Had a good sleep, Decimo?"

Tsuna looked at his left, where he saw the white-haired man sat on the only chair there with his arms rested on the back of the chair and delighted grin. "You looked like you were having one kind of a dream," he stood up. "You infiltrated this base without knowing my name, am I right? I'm—"

"Julius Octavo." Tsuna cut as he tried to lift his body. "You think I'm stupid? Your face was caught by one of the surveillance cameras in Mafia Land."

"So, you searched my background, I suppose. But it seems neither CEDEF nor your guardians know. You did this research on my family secretly, didn't you? You're keeping a secret from everyone, as if you have a personal matter with me."

"It's none of your business."

"True. But this may be yours." a huge transparent monitor appeared behind him with an image that made Tsuna distraught; the girl whom was taken away from him leaned against a while wall, losing much blood while a machine that looked like a type of gun with its muzzle as a sharp blade, pointed at Haru's head.

"Haru!" he screamed. "You—!" he stood upright, but all of the sudden, he couldn't sustain his body; he fell on his knees. No matter how much he struggled, he couldn't move his body to his liking.

"Your whole body is coated with my rain flame. You can't go anywhere. Besides, I'm not here to kill you, but this lady."

"What…?"

"I know she owns the dusk flame, Decimo. The most powerful flame that every organization seeks… do you know what will become of this world if she falls to the wrong hand? Her mere existence is a threat. I can't let that power fall into any hands, even yours, but she's a part of your family. I still need your cooperation. So, how about it? You can't let her stay alive forever, you can't protect her forever."

"…I'd rather go to hell… than to let her die…"

Seeing Tsuna's narrowed eyes, he knew he wouldn't cooperate, but he didn't give up. As he snapped his fingers, the screen changed to seemingly footage, but one that shocked Tsuna, the whole video of his parents last seconds, the moment Haru annihilated them merciless and emotionless. Tsuna froze as his widened eyes locked on the screen, until he lowered his head with shadow hid his expression. "Is this what you came here for, Decimo?" the content turned back into Haru's current state. "Yes, you're not seeing this wrong. Your guardian killed your parents."

"…I know," Tsuna voiced. "I already knew days before. I come to you… to make sure what I saw was right. I don't doubt the vision I got… I don't deny the truth of it. But…"

"You know about it all along and yet you didn't do anything? Why? Because she's your friend?"

"Who knows…?" Tsuna replied dispiritedly, his eyes were downcast. "Hatred doesn't bring resolve. Leaving her won't bring my parents' to life… either way… I don't really care. Everything starts to make no sense to me… every day seems… heavier to live…"

Surely, he was at confusion. He knew—had visions that Haru killed his parents. He would lash out his hatred towards Haru—no matter what, it was his parents that were killed. There should be no excuse or slight of forgiveness that ever crossed his mind. But this new perception or feeling he had for her made everything nothing but twists, he couldn't yell at her, scream at her, or even bothered to hate her. However, now, he was given a memory of the truth that Haru had erased. Was that memory an answer to his prayer to God? How could he overlook that the reason Haru had been acting odd, was because of him?

Tsuna knew all the truth more than he should know. But the two visions he had got contradicted each other. She killed his parents brutally, but she gave up her life for him. How could reality be so twisted? Just for how long he could keep acting oblivious? To erase this torturing confusion, he could ask Haru herself, but he wasn't the 14 year-old reckless boy anymore, he thought. He knew what action to take.

"So… you want her to live?" Tsuna nodded. Julius sighed. "Very well."

A sound of blood splattered widened Tsuna's eyes. Slowly, with unsettling feeling he looked up, only to be aghast by the blade that penetrated through her forehead. "…No…" he couldn't scream, tears formed on his lower eyelids. At that moment, anger, rage, resentment wafted through his shaking body, his sanity gushed out, his heart was thumped by all negative feelings.

His ring immediately shaped into gloves, sky flame emitted on his forehead, his flame combusted, gushing out his entire body in rage. Slowly, he stood up. Julius backed up a bit; even the rain flame couldn't withstand Tsuna's rampaging flame. Unlike before, at the moment, his flame wasn't a clear and open sky, but the sky that was spilled with black. The color of the flame remained the same, but the intensity was different, and this flame was hideous.

XX burner was charged as his stretched his arms forward. In a split second, Julius was burned among the huge blast that even created a hole across, and it shook the entire base to the extent that the tremor hit Gokudera and the others. Having a bad feeling, they abandoned their task and ran to the upper floor where the tremor was.

Their minds were shaken, all with the same worries for their boss. When they arrived at the spacious room, almost the entire room was burned to crisp, and their boss was nowhere to be found. They looked around, searching for him, until they discovered a hole with two silhouettes. They scurried over there, where it turned out to be a small white room.

Initially, what they saw first was a burned out machine, but as they turned to Tsuna, all eyes widened in shock, Chrome dropped he trident and shut her mouth close with her hands in shock and tears. Their eyes locked on Haru's dead body, and Tsuna who held her close with overflowing tears while shadow casted over his face.

* * *

"We did it, Julius," a white-haired man closed his laptop and looked at his spitting image next to him standing. "Thank goodness the one Decimo killed was your illusion, my twin brother."

"I'm relieved you used your rain flame on him beforehand, Julian. With no one knows I have a twin brother, we've executed this plan well."

"Right," Julian stood up and changed seat to the sofa across him, compressing the wound on the neck of a brunette girl. "Miura Haru belongs to me now."

"You?"

Julian pointed a gun at his own twin. With a smile, he said, "That's a nice disguise of yours. You're a perfect copy of my brother. But unfortunately for you, my brother's mist flame is weaker than yours. So, tell me. Who are you?"

"B-Brother?" he swallowed. The agitation that masked his face instantly turned into a wide grin. Sound of mist hissed through Julius' entire body until his figure was completely coated with mist flame, leaving nothing but a silhouette. "Kufufufu… very well."

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the long chapter. I'll try to make it shorter in the future chapters.**


	18. It's all forgiven

**Buona lettura!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. It belongs to its rightful owner.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER XVIII**_

* * *

"_Eh? Haru? I should pay attention to her more? What do you mean?"_

"_It's not surely proven, but you do know what I mean, right?"_

"_What are you talking about, Bianchi? She's as cheerful as always. I see no problem with her."_

"_I heard from Kyoko she keeps crying in her sleep. Sometimes she tried to wake her, but she wouldn't wake up."_

"_Based on your face, you know something, don't you?"_

_Bianchi looked at her tea. "Kyoko told me, Haru is a victim of bullying." Tsuna's eyes widened. "Although it's not entirely bullying… why do you think she always comes to us and we never see her with her school friends?" Tsuna shook his head hesitantly. "Due to her eccentricity, she's an outcast to everyone's eyes. She's not accepted in her social circle."_

"…_Why are you telling me this?"_

"_She needs to know… what she fears in her life won't ever come to her again. She tried to forget about it, but she couldn't. Try talking to her… just to ease her a bit. Tsuna, that girl… she fears loneliness the most."_

_._

_His hand rested on the table, eyes stared at the sleeping girl wide-eyed, her head and folded arms rested on the dining table. Bianchi was right. There was something wrong with Haru. She was asleep, her face looked so peaceful, and yet why was she shedding tears? Her sleeping face gave off tranquility, as it gave off sadness. He took off his jacket and placed it around her back._

_He sat beside her and fell silent for few moments. "I don't know what you're dreaming… and I know I'm not capable to wake you up… but…" he caressed her hair. "You're not alone anymore. We don't hate you. We'll never leave you alone, so that's why… don't cry…"_

_He wiped away the tears gently, as if meant no harm to her fragile heart. "…Haru… I'll make sure you don't have to be lonely again… you have friends now, I'm your friend…" he circled his arm around her shoulder and brushed the left part of his face against her hair, gazing at her face in much sadness. "…You're my most… precious friend, you know."_

…

Her eyelids were slowly opening, tears were seen. She woke up, realized she was sleeping on a couch with a coat covered her body. She rose up, but she still felt the pain of her wound, the blood that stained on her face.

"You're awake?" she tilted her head upwards, sensing an unfamiliar presence sitting across. He became familiar to her as a fragment of shattered memory struck her—having quick glimpse of Tsuna's parents' murder and a white-haired man who widened his eyes at her. She kept quiet for a moment until she spoke, "You… saw me, didn't you?"

"Hmm?"

"The tragedy on this land, you saw me kill them, right? You were there."

"Hm? I suppose you lost your memories about it. But yes, I was there, which I have to thank you for sparing me."

"…I see."

"You look surprisingly calm. You're now in my hand, an enemy. You're in pain, and yet it seems you're worried about the murder you committed."

"It's what I came here for—ah! Where's Tsuna-san?! What did you do to him?!"

"Relax, I didn't kill him. Look," he opened his laptop and turned it around so she could see Tsuna with his guardians. "Look where?" her question raised his eyebrows. "I… can't see."

"Are you… blind?" she nodded hesitantly. He stood up to sit beside her, and he hugged her. "It must be tough… but rest assure, I will hide your vulnerability, my one and only princess." he stated with unsettling smile. She shuddered upon hearing what he called her. She wanted to peel away from him, but she couldn't—not by stamina.

"From now on, I will protect you from everyone. I will protect you and your power with my life… as you are mine now." having heard this made her realize how dangerous this man was. She struggled, but her condition couldn't let her use her strength. She could only put a little effort to it—the best she could do.

She needed to get away from him, she had to escape quickly—it was what all she thought at the moment.

"What? Don't struggle, princess. You can't see me, but I'm not ugly, you know. I won't hurt you. Unlike other filthy mafia out there, I won't abuse your wonderful power." she kept struggling and struggling from his embrace, but she was too weak to push him away. "Anyone who wants to take you away from me… he'll end up just like Rokudo Mukuro."

She stopped. "Rokudo… Mukuro?"

Julian hugged her closer. "He escaped before I blasted my lethal attack. It seems his goal wasn't me or you. That cunning man… he's bold as he is twisted…" he murmured to himself. "Why is… Chrome's most precious person here?" she mumbled. Having heard this he smiled. He peeled away and lifted her chin to meet his face. "I would gladly answer that for you. Rokudo Mukuro was there, but unlike me who appeared after you killed, he witnessed the whole murder."

Haru was shocked. She didn't recall Mukuro was there. Julian blinked, realizing something. "Ah, that didn't answer your question, I'm sorry. But I myself don't know why he's here. That doesn't matter to me, as long as he didn't take you away from me. You're mine."

"I-I'm not yours!" she slapped his hand and stood up. "I belong to the Vongola! I-If you keep insisting, I will have to beat you!" she drew her dagger and pressed a switch to lengthen the blade to become a sword. But all of the sudden, her whole body thumped painfully—specifically, her internal organs. She fell on her knees, holding her chest firmly.

"You can't go anywhere, Haru. I've injected a poison into your system, in case something like this would happen. I didn't want to hurt you, but this is for your sake," he squatted before her. "Why do you want to go back to him that badly?" her eyes grew wide at that question. "You've done something terrible to him. You've turned his past into much fathomless darkness. Do you wish to make him suffer more?"

She stayed silent, words escaped from her mind. She couldn't counter his remark. He shrugged. "Well, not like it matters to him. He already knows about your little sin."

"You… told him?"

"I showed him, but… he claimed he already knew few days ago."

She twitched. "…You're lying. If he already knew, then… why did he act as if he didn't know anything?"

Julian stared at her perplexed and anxious face. "I won't gain anything by lying, will I? The poison works faster than I thought. At this rate, you'll die in less than an hour. Say that you'll stay with me or I won't give you the antidote."

She swung her sword and he backed away. "…No… way… I…" she stood up slowly, pointing her blade at him. His eyes widened at the sight of her narrowed brown eyes that turned almost wine-red. "I'll just… have to… kill you, then…"

* * *

"Juudaime… we should go."

Tsuna didn't budge. With tears, he was still holding the dead body. Even without word to describe, they could understand it was too much for Tsuna himself. To let a friend died, it would be the most devastating part in life, one that he had been sorely avoiding. "…This mission doesn't hold any importance anymore… if she's dead." he said.

"Such a pitiful man."

Everyone flinched in surprise having heard the familiar voice. The guardians looked at their back and made way for Tsuna to see indigo mist that gradually formed into a man, a pineapple-haired man they all knew. The lost man appeared before them, with his usual smile.

Chrome's eye began teary. "Mukuro-sama…?"

"It's been too long, Nagi." he smiled meekly at her. She nodded while wiping her tears. "You… where have you been all these years, dammit?!" Gokudera snarled. "I'm not here to deal with you, Gokudera Hayato," having heard this, a vein popped out of his head in annoyance. He clenched his fist, wanting to give him a beating so badly, but he held onto it.

Mukuro approached Tsuna and gave a long stare before his usual 'kufufu' laugh escaped his mouth. "Is this the powerful Vongola Tenth? The standard seems to lower while I'm gone."

"Mukuro-sama, why are you… wounded?" Chrome approached him, carefully caressing the cut on his cheek. Mukuro held her hand and lowered it down.

"It's okay, Chrome. More importantly, Sawada Tsunayoshi, if you want to save Miura Haru, you still have this mission to complete." everyone flinched at his remark. Mukuro realized the confusion roamed around the room. As his trident was pointed at the dead body, 'Haru' started disintegrating under the indigo mist. Tsuna stared at it with wide eyes as the illusion faded away.

However, he didn't ask anything about the illusion. He had another question for him, one that he spoke calmly. "…Mukuro, what happened after you witnessed my parents' murder? Or why were you there?"

"It's the same reason why I am here… is that the information you seek, Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

Tsuna flinched. With solemn look, he looked at Mukuro and nodded. "Yeah."

Mukuro gave a satisfied smile. "I can't recall the exact number, but it was years ago. I was in Namimori when I sensed a dark presence. I trailed it to where it was going. It went to Mafia Land."

"Why did you even follow it in the first place? You're not the type who would care." Gokudera crossed his arms.

"Oya, pretending you know about me, Gokudera Hayato?" having heard this, Gokudera snapped, but before he could smack him, Yamamoto and Ryohei hastily grabbed him at his dispute. "But I didn't say you were wrong." The trio went quiet at Mukuro's words, deciding to hear it out. "That dark presence was unique. I was thinking of using it as my optional vessel to destroy mafia. But what I saw was truly unexpected."

"You saw… Haru? Killing my parents?" he nodded, which made everyone jerk in surprise.

"Say what, Sawada?" Ryohei said.

"Are you sure, juudaime? It's impossible for her to hurt anyone, much less your parents. She may be irritating, but she wouldn't…"

"And yet, she did. I'm sorry to hide this from all of you. The truth is, I've known this since few days ago, but I was a coward. I know it wasn't a lie, but I didn't want to accept the truth. I wanted to confront Julius Octavo… to make sure if I could accept this truth. It's just… knowing who killed your parents was your own friend… Haru, of all people… I couldn't bear it, I couldn't meet her face. I'm supposed to hate her, but I couldn't. Bearing all of that, this unknown feeling for her…" he gripped his chest and went quiet. Few moments later, he gave a forced meek smile to his friends. "Sorry, forget what I said…"

Gokudera and everyone gave away a sympathetic look at Tsuna. He seemed confused, lost, in pain by his own judgment about Haru. They never saw this side of him regarding Haru. Gokudera clenched his fist. "Oi, Mukuro! Why didn't you stop her back then? She was just a girl, weaker than you."

"I have no intention to interfere."

"What was that?!"

"Her power couldn't be measured. I wouldn't dive for what wasn't my concern with a chance it might kill me. She should've been a weak girl, but as I saw her killing, my breath was taken away. I was stoned, unfortunately. And then, she left, without noticing me."

"And then what, Mukuro-sama? You didn't tell us why you're here."

"Why?" he chuckled. "For you, my dear Nagi." she blushed and blinked in confusion. "I know that to you, Miura Haru is an important friend. I heard she went missing, and it saddened you deeply. I tracked her whereabouts afterwards, but I could never find her. I've been searching her around the world for years without clues, until I remembered another witness, Julian Octavo. I disguised as his twin brother, waiting for a moment when he would bring Miura Haru. Ever since he found out about the dusk flame, He's been obsessed over it and wish to protect that power and its user from anyone. It's a 50:50 chance, but it was my last resort."

"I see…" Chrome murmured.

"You're not as cold as they said, Mukuro." Yamamoto declared casually. "Naïve as ever, Yamamoto Takeshi. I never liked the trouble of finding that girl, it consumed my life. But she's Chrome's important person."

"Where is she?" asked Tsuna.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be here. But knowing Julian Octavo, she could be injured." answered Mukuro. "Julian Octavo?" Tsuna raised his eyebrows. "As I said, Julius was his twin, and Julian was the one who saw Miura Haru." Mukuro replied. With that, Tsuna stood up, saying, "We have to hurry and find her."

"Boss, is something wrong?" he froze and eyes widened hearing Chrome's question. "You look like you're forcing yourself, it's like your mind is somewhere else."

"What's wrong, juudaime? You are a bit quiet and strange for knowing Haru could be hurt."

"I'm not quiet," Tsuna clenched his fist in tremble. "I just…"

Out of blue, they were hit by a tremor, causing them to fall off their feet. "What the heck was that?!" Gokudera shouted. While everyone was confused, Tsuna flinched upon noticing a scent of flame.

"Haru…" he looked so anxious and worried, his face was pale. He quickly turned on his earpiece and tried to contact Haru.

* * *

Due to the tremor, the base was crumbling down, slowly, little by little. But even with that pace, if they didn't hurry, they would be buried soon. The ceiling was falling down, small debris dropped to the floor, dropped to Haru's head while she breathlessly walking along the hallway. The way she walked, she seemed to be in a very pain. It was slow, as if walking was hard enough. She sweated, her brown eyes had a faint shade of red, but quickly dismissed. She gripped her chest in pain as she walked.

Her earpiece buzzed, slowly a voice was heard. "Haru, are you there?!"

She held her earpiece with her free hand and leaned her shoulder against a wall. "Y-Yes… I'm here."

"Are you injured?!" she noticed he sounded panic over her. She tried collecting her voice to speak. "I-I'm fine…"

"Don't lie! Where are you right now?!"

She looked around. "I think… this is lower… ground. I'm trying to… go up."

"Okay, Haru, you—"

"Tsuna-san."

"W-What?"

"I think… I know how to use… my flame."

"Eh? But all this time, you never…"

She murmured in agreement. "It was my first time when I—" she coughed blood. "Haru!" he shouted. She wiped the blood around her lips. "I'm okay. I used my flame… when… I tried to escape from the boss. But I feel… weird."

He couldn't catch up to what she was saying, all he could do was just standing still and be frozen. "A-Anyway, find a safe spot and wait for us! This place is falling apart!" he cut off the communication.

As if she would just stand still. She recalled the past times when all she did was wait and pray. She became what she was now to get away from it. She wanted to at least put up an effort. She peeled away from the wall and continued walking. She was feeling the life-consuming poison, the broken ribs, her own blood that stained her upper attire—supposedly, she couldn't have walked. But what in her mind was only to go to the upper floor, to go back to Tsuna's side.

Strangely though, she didn't intend to confront Julian Octavo by herself. Normally, she would confront everything alone to make Tsuna safe. Defeating Julian Octavo could ensure his and everyone's safety, but right now all she wanted was just get back. She wondered why, thinking about it with half-lidded eyes. Those eyes didn't indicate sadness, but rather monotonic.

"Hey…" hearing the voice, she turned around, seeing Julian Octavo's bloody figure. "Seeing you now, I suppose you can't absorb your own pain."

She drew her sword. Julian just leaned against the wall, didn't seem to reach at Haru drawing her sword, staring at her as if absentmindedly. "You almost killed me with that innocent face of yours. Such devilish beauty. Why didn't you eat my soul?"

"I didn't have to." she narrowed her eyes.

"'didn't have to'?" the boss quoted her own words. Strangely for her, he looked like he was holding a laugh. "Oh, my dear princess. Do you know eating people's soul is the only method to cure yourself? You've gone to the stage where the Void started to become your conscious, whether you know it or not."

"H-How did you know about the Void?!"

"From a sociopath, you could say. Anyway, I don't like what you're doing now. You belong to me." he walked approach her. She backed away, and later noticed a detonator on his hand. He noticed she was looking at it. "What, this? Well, it seems you still want to go back to Vongola Decimo, so I have no choice." he slipped the detonator inside his pocket and dashed to her fast, kicking her stomach roughly that she collapsed.

* * *

The place was crumbling down. Very soon they would be buried under it. They never stopped running and running searching for one person in group. All were worried for Haru, but surely, Tsuna was more worried than anybody in the premises. They arrived at the lower level Haru was at, turned right, and stopped as they spotted her earpiece that was soaked with blood.

He immediately approached it, kneeled down, and picked it up while thinking the worst possible scenario. He just stared at the earpiece on his palm with dilated eyes and agape mouth, thinking this could be her blood, and she could be gravely injured. "Tsuna! The blood trails to that room!" Yamamoto pointed a double door in front of them. Without waiting, Tsuna ran and opened the door.

It was a cafeteria, with one man sitting on a cafeteria bench with Haru's head lying on his lap. He smiled rather cheerfully, and made the guardians drew their weapons.

"Whoa, calm down, everyone. You want her to live, don't you?" said Julian.

"What do you mean?" Tsuna furrowed.

"I've injected a deadly poison that will destroy her internal organs in less than 2 minutes. One more thing…" he let out the detonator from his pocket. "If you try anything weird, I'll bomb this place and bury all of us together."

"Don't bluff! Why would you kill yourself?!" Gokudera shouted.

"It doesn't concern you, does it? Initially, I'm supposed to eliminate intruders and get Miura Haru, but she refused to be mine. She chose you, Decimo, than me. Now that my base is falling apart, she refused me, everything has no importance. My life and this world have no worth if she rejects me. But before we die, I'd like to play with you." he stated with easygoing smile.

"What an extremely sick guy…" Ryohei mumbled.

"Hey, Julian," Tsuna's hyper mode turned on. His gloves blazed with flames. "I don't have time to chat. I can just knock you out and bring her to the hospital."

"Before that, I would push this button and kill us all. Besides, you won't save her then. No hospital has the antidote, but I've created it."

"Then, I'll get it from you by force."

"I don't have it. I've 'put' the antidote somewhere else."

"Where?" the flame on his fists lit up even more.

Julian tossed a knife to him; Tsuna caught it. Julian pointed at Tsuna, to everyone's confusion. "I've injected the pill into your throat when you were unconscious. You have to cut the artery deeply to let out the serum, but that would mean death."

"That's absurd! Don't believe him, juudaime!"

"Tch. I hate noisy one like you. It's his decision whether to believe or not. In terms of judgment, Decimo is superior with his hyper intuition. Not only that, doing nothing would gain you death. Even without me pushing this button, we would die of buried underground."

As much as Gokudera was annoyed, as much as he wanted to shout at Julian's face, he was right. His boss was a better judge than he was. But for Tsuna, this wasn't a simple decision. He would really die, plus he didn't have time to think. He just stared at the knife in agitation. He had to save Haru, but Julian's words were full of doubts. He wouldn't want to be swayed by emotion, he wasn't that type of guy anymore.

"…Don't…" he flinched, recognizing the voice and looked at his front with widened eyes, staring at Haru's half-lidded eyes looking at him. She looked so weak, it was as if her life was being taken to death's door. Her eyes pleaded him not to do it. But instead, he had enough.

Everyone's mouth created a gap from shock, faces were pale in horror to see blood splatter from his neck. Haru's eyes widened in shock, indicating her anxiety. The slash he made to himself made him fall on his knees while holding the slit part. He was losing so much blood.

However, Julian laughed hysterically. "AHAHAHAHA! You're a retard, you know that! Idiot! If the serum was there, it would—!"

"I know… you lied," Tsuna interrupted. "I... once said… to someone… that I would cut my own… blood vessel to give out her happiness…"

"For that shallow reason you would even harm yourself?! Even if you know it means death?! You're dumber than I thought, Vongola Decimo. For even—"

"Don't think… lowly of me," he was heavily panting for air, withstanding unbelievably painful wound. "Because the serum… is really my blood."

Everyone was in confusion, even Julian. Tsuna threw away the knife and lowered his head. "This blood… my flame… are her life source, her cure. When I… gave my flame to… stop her raging flame that time, that's when… a connection between our 'life flame' was… formed. She… she couldn't absorb or cure her own pain with her flame… but my blood and flame, those two that flow life inside me… they also flow hers."

"I never heard of it. Is there a theory to that? Based on what you dare to say that crap?" Julian furrowed.

"My… hyper intuition."

"I see. You bear harmony attribute, it would work. While we're chatting, she only has…" he looked at his watch. "45 seconds, plus you're dying. And if I can't have her, I might as well die here with her, and all of you."

Gokudera and everyone quickly drew their weapons as an attempt to fight Julian, but he was going to push the detonator button with a smirk.

"Kufufufu… you're the only one who will die."

Julian's eyes bulged as a trident penetrated his lungs. A mist appeared behind him, forming a solid form of Mukuro who casually squatted on the table. Mukuro carefully took the detonator away from his hand, securing it. As Julian's body fell forward, Haru fell along, but Tsuna immediately caught her despite his condition.

He leaned her against the bench so she could be in sitting position. "Umm… Tsuna, I think you should take it easy." Yamamoto said worryingly, seeing him checking her wounds feverishly. Tsuna checked on her temple, her body was hot, she was sweating, as if having a fever. Hurriedly, removed his hand from closing the slit wound, and curved his palm to pool his blood, handing it over to her. "Drink this, now."

But she shook her head. "What? Why?!" his worries escalated.

"Gr…oss…" she whispered.

"If you don't, then you'll… tch, fine!" he sucked the blood on his palm as much as he could and crashed his lips against hers, pulling her chin down to create the entrance, forcing the red liquid to enter her mouth. She grabbed his arm and gripped it tightly. Knowing it was a sign of rebellion from her, he tilted her head upwards, deepening the 'kiss' more for the remaining blood in his mouth to flow into her mouth.

It tasted like metal, but she could feel the poison was wearing off. She loosened the grip and eventually accepted his blood. Some blood escaped their mouth as it made way on her lips, falling down to her chin and made drop to the floor. Tsuna could feel he was losing conscious, but he wouldn't let her go. He embraced her closer. After twenty seconds, he peeled away breathlessly while continuing to hold the slit wound.

"I'm… sorry… Tsuna-san…" he looked at her. "Your parents… I… with my own hands…"

"Don't," he interrupted. She twitched in surprise and looked at him, seeing the solemn and tired look on his face. "Please… don't be sad. It doesn't matter what you did in the past. What matter is what you do today, and that you came back to me." he started to smile and looked at her teary-eyed. "For a moment, I thought you wanted to confront danger yourself. I thought you wanted to leave me again. But you came back to me, didn't you? It makes me happy."

"But…"

"I already forgive you, Haru."

She was truly taken aback and surprised, but she didn't respond or say a word. She simply stared at him wide-eyed and blankly, feeling her cheeks turned warm and her eyes were almost wet of tears. But all of the sudden, her eyes bulged upon a sudden thump on her head, as if it was shot by a gun. Afterwards, she collapsed, much to everyone and Tsuna's dismay.

…

_The blue sea inside Haru's 'dimension' grew darker. The consciousness of Miura Haru swooned in front of the red-eyed Haru. She covered half of her face with her palm in perplexity and agitation, peering down at her other conscious's body on the sand._

"…_That was dangerous." she whispered. "…Why did it just recover slightly? My humanity wasn't supposed to…" she trailed off before her eyes narrowed. "No, I can't. I still have to do this. It seems the trigger… is him. If so, then I…" she approached the normal Haru's body, kneeled down, and gently touched her head as her cold red eyes turned soft and grievous. "I have to…"_

…

Elsewhere, Kawahira watched the whole scene from his 'throne'. "You finally figured out a way to heal her, huh, Vongola?" he mumbled. Wonomichi handed him a bowl of noodle. "But I thought eating souls is the only way to cure her." Wonomichi spoke.

"Primarily, yes, but preventable, although she still needs to feed on souls to live. In truth, what Sawada Tsunayoshi did was a miracle. Supposedly, none of the seven flames can be measured with dusk flame. But with his sky flame alone he was able to tie a bond between his flame and dusk flame. Even I am, the creator of the dusk flame have no clue how he was able to do the impossible, hence a miracle."

"But it seems she's now able to control her flame, not to mention she was conscious when her eyes were red. How much time does she have left before she becomes a complete Void?"

Kawahira went silent for almost half a minute. "3 days... or less."

* * *

**~A day after~**

"A meeting?" Tsuna raised his eyebrows, looking at Gokudera in confusion. He put his paperwork and pen down.

His right-hand-man nodded. "Our three affiliations, Dogbane Family, Lactus Family, and Ardent Family have corresponded to your request of aid regarding Haru's protection. They're planning to hold an internal meeting between you and their bosses concerning this matter. A messenger is here right now, waiting for a response. So, what's your response, juudaime?"

"Aren't they too late to respond? When will the meeting be held?" Tsuna stood up.

"This afternoon, actually. You still have 5 hours before then, but I can't believe they're this irresponsible. To hold a meeting this urgent, don't they have manner?"

"I'm sure they have their reason, don't worry about that. 5 hours is more than enough for me." Tsuna walked to the door. Gokudera turned around and asked, "Juudaime? Where are you going?"

"Ah, I'm going to go see her, just making sure she's okay, though." he left the room, leaving Gokudera to stand still while watching him leave.

Ever since they went back from Mafia Land, after Haru was given proper treatment, she immediately demanded to do her work as a guardian and took few jobs already. Naturally, with her current condition, anyone would be worried, Tsuna would be worried. But right now, as he was walking to the library, he didn't look worry, but rather anxious just to see her.

He arrived at the library, searching her whereabouts as he was looking around. The library itself wasn't small, it was quite big. But it was paid off. He found her, resting her head on her folded arms, sleeping peacefully on the table. He couldn't help but to smile at that view, and his cheeks started to feel warm as it was shaded with tender red.

**[HUMANITY PERCENTAGE]**

**51%**

**l**

**56%**

**l**

**50%**

* * *

**Really, everyone. I can't thank you enough for supporting this story. Honestly, I say this story is getting more frustrating, boring, cheesy, cliché, and uglier. But you still support me anyways. Personally, I don't think I deserve it, I mean there are still many good stories out there, but you end up reading mine. I do appreciate your support and reviews, and everyone who put this story into their favorite/alert. This story may not be good, but thank you so much for reviewing and supporting me all this time. I hope reading this story is worth your time.**

**Oh, I have a question. Please answer it, if possible. Would you read a twisted emotional story (less romance, more deepened plot) or would you read a less twisted emotional story (more romance, less deep plot)? I'm not talking about fanfiction, just generally.**

**And another one: what kind of good ending for Tsuharu story do you like? (it won't affect this story's ending)**

**I'd appreciate it if you could answer. Thank you!**


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